As an approach coach I often meet women with “wifey” qualities. Their charm and easy going attitudes are intoxicating. You just want to keep them around forever.
And then I find out they’re married…
“Of course. That’s why you’re so awesome.” I say.
These women are almost always already engaged, or married young.
In a culture that poo poos on long term commitment over short term fun, and tells women to get married in their late thirties, how are these women able to snag great men so easily, so early, and be happy with this decision?
What qualities differentiate them from the average woman?
They are often exceptionally attractive, inside and out. They are fit and maintain vigorous exercise routines, usually via the gym, yoga, martial arts, rock climbing, dancing and so forth. They watch their diets and count calories. They do this because they enjoy looking their best, or at least feel it’s necessary. This lifestyle probably explains their nimbus like, infectiously positive attitudes.
They are excellent conversationalists, well read, open to new ideas, and alternate points of view. They are eager to learn—more than to teach. They see every new interaction as a delight, even with a guy that just approached them.
If you tell them something they’ve never heard of (like you teach pickup for a living) instead of judging you as a scumbag, they become fascinated and want to learn more about your job. If you’re an engineer, they want to learn all about being an engineer, and so forth. They tend to have that child-like wonder that people find so endearing in adults. They see the best, rather than the worst in people and society.
The vast majority of dates I’ve been on in Canada, the women only talk about themselves. They don’t seem to care about the person sitting in front of them. The married women I meet seem fascinated about new people, and want to learn about them. This makes them very, very easy to love.
Instead of trying to be strong and empowered, and over compensating for their perceived deficiencies and victimhood, they are life long students and seek out those who are wiser or more experienced to learn from. They also make great teachers, but don’t feel the need to force their world view on others. They’ll introduce you to new ideas, but won’t cram them down your throat.
In a way they are intellectually submissive, which makes them wiser than a know-it-all. If they have their own views, instead of arguing, they pose them in a question “Interesting, what does that mean to you?”, or say “I’ve never thought of it that way.” They tend to be conflict avoidant which could be defined as submissiveness, when really it’s just social intelligence.
They make you happy just by being in their presence
They have a “glow” that attracts others to them. This could be called charm. They aren’t annoyed by men who are attracted to them as they know this is human nature, and out of their control. It’s just the way of life. They don’t need to hide their beauty, or sexuality, but at the same time don’t rely on it for validation or power. That doesn’t mean they can’t play with it. Nothing wrong with sharing your gifts.
They take life as it is, and do their best with it.
They are expert flirts, but understand boundaries
They don’t use their charms as a weapon for manipulation, but instead as a natural outlet of their love for people, and an expression of their values. Short, tall, rich, poor, white, black, blue, they treat every man as a potential lover, and men love them for it.
They are good at rejecting men in a way that doesn’t humiliate them
They have a certain authority without being rude or demeaning. It may have to do with the fact that they’re married and this grants them a certain freedom from fear of making wrong choices, or leading people on. This gives them freedom to flirt without being a cheat, or negative repercussions from hurt feelings.
They’re usually married young, in their early twenties
Their husbands are not necessarily “successful” in the financial sense, but they are good, healthy, happy and strong men. These men recognize how rare these women are, and on bended knee slip the ring on their finger. It usually happens early on. This is probably due to their being many men vying for their attention.
They don’t quit on their man after the first mistake
They understand that relationships take work, and will lift their partners up instead of dumping them. They have their choice of the best men, because their beauty and charm draws them in. This means they often have low bang counts, and little sexual experience outside of a few guys, besides their husband or ltr.
They don’t judge men by their income, or their age, or their height, but instead by chemistry and potential
Then they work to ensure they made the right choice by sticking with it through good and bad.
They don’t party much
Most of these women are home bodies. They prefer going to bed early. I often hear “I’m an old soul,” or “I’m really an old lady.”
They are submissive but strong
They don’t need to dominate men, or prove their superiority. They have real self-esteem and live more in the present moment than dwelling on the past. They are in touch with their feminine nature, and instead of seeing this as a fault, embrace it.
I’ve met these women in bars, clubs, parties, work gatherings, barbecues, malls, and their allure never ceases to inspire. These women are very rarely single for longer than a few months. And honestly, they are usually foreigners to Canada. This is just based on my experience. The reasons for this are for another post.
When I was in Asia I met one of these women, a 22 year old German beauty. We had a brief romance. On returning to Canada we kept in touch via Facebook. It wasn’t long before she was engaged. I congratulated her and this is what she had to say about finding her guy, and my own frustrations about dating in Vancouver.
On her fiancé and love
I am engaged to my Best friend 🙂 I am lucky. I was never that into the idea of marriage but sometimes you need to reconsider your mindset. But when I think about all that money and the wedding itself it makes my hair stand on the end… does this saying make sense?
😀 So we will stay engaged for a longer period
I have never imagined my actual life situation could be like that when I was travelling ^^ but life is weird and full of surprises and changing plans…so I try my Best to take it as it comes and for now I am super Happy with it ☺☺
And…ehem…there will never be the perfect girl. (Or man. Ed.)
But i think love and relationships are about making a decision and then stand for it and try your best to make it work and be fair and respectful. And then love can grow. ..because you know that this person is always there for you and backs you up.
On my personal frustrations with Canadian women
“Women are like that in all the western countries I guess 😬
They have huuuuuge expectations and then they don’t understand why they are all alone all the time or are cheated.
I have a lot of friends like that…telling me how easy and wonderful my life is because I found a partner ^^ It was not like a Hollywood movie and love at first sight. It was a process and took a lot of courage and time. It also was work. Love rarely just happens to you.
But most of the girls expect a man model with a romantic character and forget about the “simple” boys right next to them.”
Wise words from an amazing woman. As much as I want to hate the guy who got her, I wish them the best.
These women are increasingly rare in a post feminist world, where women are taught to be men, and men are shamed for being men.
I’ll be waiting to pounce if he screws up.