An ex-student came to me with this conundrum: “How do I make my fuck-buddy my girlfriend?”
He picked her up at a party through social circle. They had sex on the second date (which in my humble opinion is perfect form. Too soon and she’ll feel slutty, too late and she’ll lose attraction).
She was hotter than any girl he’d been with, and he really wanted to tap-dat on the regular. The problem was, the more he pushed towards exclusivity, the more she pulled away. He was being needy, and treating her differently than how he had attracted her.
The game doesn’t stop after you put your penis in her. You can’t fall back into beta boy behavior because you’ve been validated.
I provide counsel:
“Don’t call or text her for three days, even if she calls or texts you. If she contacts you, don’t reply for twenty four hours, and then, make it short, like “Totally, Lol, etc’ and offer no meets.”
I pause to let this sink in, then go on. “Go out, meet more women, get more phone numbers, play sports, workout, read books…actually be busy. This will take discipline. Your scarcity valve will be gaping. You’ll want her badly because she’s cool and hot. But you need to act abundant.”
“Ok. Be busy.” He agrees.
“Have you spoken with her every day since you first met?” I ask.
“Yeah, every day, through text.”
“Right. When you talk to her Friday, give no explanation as to why you were absent. Just be happy and normal and go on talking about your week. If she inquires where you were, just shrug it off, ‘I was super busy, anyway…’ Also, don’t ask her to hang out, even if it’s killing you. She will ask you. She’ll be going nuts wondering if you’re with another girl. She’s programmed to compete with other women for your man seed. If she believes you can attract more women, she’ll find you more desirable as a mate. She’ll feel like she has to work for your attention. She’s young and hot, so your take away will fry her circuitry. Only alpha men shrug off a sure thing with her. Most guys will chase her.”
“Yeah, be aloof.”
I add “For every three times she asks you to hang out, you ask her once. For every three gifts she gives you, you give her one. For every three compliments…you get the point.”
“Yeah I get it. She works for me.” He said.
I gave him this advice a month ago. Yesterday, I asked him how the strategy played out…
“Genius. It totally worked. She can’t get enough of me.”
A dove cries, an angel gets it wings, a baby spittles and a mother coos, an orange is peeled by a man with no thumbs….
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