After years of talking to guys about women, I’ve noticed certain patterns. Today I spoke with a guy that fits the post thirties divorcee archetype. They see my ad that I’m a dating coach, and figure I can help them, and I can, but usually they don’t really want help, they just want to bitch and moan about how although they have plenty of women to choose from, and they have absolutely no problems attracting them, the women just don’t “get” them.
The “women” (Note plural) is usually ONE woman. And of course, the woman is wrong.
These are guys who are looking for “marriage” material. They want a Virgin Madonna to pop out babies and play house wife. Fair, sounds great. The problem is, they have already failed in marriage, and now fail at dating. They just can’t seem to meet the right “One.”
“One” is the magic word. Like your one car, your one t.v., your one job. It’s your possession.
These guys call me for the answers, but they don’t really want to hear it. They don’t want to hear things like:
Women aren’t attracted to supplicating, nice guy behaviour.
Expensive dinners, gifts, and paid vacations will not make her love you.
They may need to read books.
They will need to approach strangers, to meet more women and learn “pick-up” (that’s creepy!)
They will need to fix their fashion.
They have no concept of Ego or the Now.
They are more messed up than the women that reject them.
They are boring to talk to.
They don’t flirt with other women, or know how to flirt
They suck in bed
Then I explain that all of these issues can be dealt with. I give them a long list of books, and websites and free resources for them to study. All of which, if applied, will garner results.
“Oh yeah. Cool. But I’m all good,” they say.
Then they ask how much coaching costs. “$997” I tell them. And then they scoff! “A thousand dollars!?” I tell them yes, I cost one thousand dollars.
The thing is, these guys will never correct themselves. They don’t read, so they won’t learn. They aren’t willing to approach new women, so they don’t meet any, and since nothing is wrong with them, they won’t pay $1000 for coaching.
And they can’t seem to understand why they keep getting dumped. It’s a complete mystery. What is wrong with these stupid women!?
Here is my golden advice that has done wonders for my love life…
If you want to keep a woman happy and loyal, she must understand that her man is able to find a new woman easily. To keep one woman, you must be able to attract all women.
This is why learning “pickup” (so creepy) is vital to maintaining healthy and happy long term relationships. You don’t get too jealous or fear “losing” her because you know it won’t take you long to find another pussy.
Then things like her personality, talents, and life skills become more important for ltrs than her ability to get you off and look good on your arm.
If you go looking for “marriage material” then you are already wrong. You are putting expectations on every woman to fulfill some weird egoic fantasy. You want to lock her down and own her so she can reproduce your offspring and sell hotdogs at your kid’s baseball games. Is that what women want? Really?
Maybe you could see women as humans with their own hopes and desires. Learn how to fuck them silly and not chase them for exclusivity. You don’t need to marry a woman to keep her in your life.
If I’m on a first or second date and the woman tells me she is looking to have kids and get married—it freaks me out. Why would she tell me this? Next please–no thanks. Neeeeedy.
If you are a serial marrying type, and you meet a girl that is also looking for instant kids and marriage…I predict unhappiness, strife, and a child raised in an unbalanced or broken home.
A quick impulsive marriage is an institution born out of desperation, scarcity mentality, fear and jealousy.
I’ll say it again–to keep one woman, learn to get them all.
You may need to read books. I’m sorry about that.