Two of my favourite Alpha males from Television are Don Draper and Hank Moody. Let’s watch them deal with testy women.
“What you call ‘love’ was invented by guys like me.”
Only a guy with balls of diamond and solid inner game could pull off a line like that. Though it wasn’t meant to attract her, it wasn’t really a pickup line, his complete belief in himself; confidence with a slight underlying cockiness, spikes her interest. She’s not sure she believes him, but that doesn’t matter…he believes himself. Women are looking for a guy with a stronger reality than themselves. This is why women will join polygamous cults run by men who tell them they’re going to fly away in a ufo after they kill themselves. They believe because they want to.
But it’s not only the content of his words that seduces her. He’s playing his archetype: the cool leading man. And his act is perfect–because he is fully committed to his role.
I want you to study his body language, vocal tonality, inflection, and tempo.
He speaks slowly, deliberately, with a smooth, even tone. There is no inflection, no question marks, no squeaky permission seeking vocality.
He’s remaining still, no fidgeting, or weird shaky hands, or sketchy eye contact.
This is how you should talk to girls. The way you would talk to your best friend, or little sister. You can add a playful vibe, even be silly, but don’t over do it. Again, focus on having solid body language, and speaking with authority.
Notice how he shares his philosophy on love, without asking her what her views are, since he is sure he’s right. He’s not seeking permission, or validation, or acceptance. Whether he’s perceived by her to be right, or wrong, he doesn’t care. He’s simply sharing his belief without apology. And she likes him for this.
Newbies rarely sound like Don Draper. They fidget and quiver and attempt to entertain. Not Don, he’s the man, and he knows it. Therefore, whatever he says, goes.
The man, based on my favourite writer, Charles Bukowski. The embodiment of the Hollywood poet, and womanizing alph male. Sure he drinks and drugs himself to oblivion, but he’s a tortured artist.
In this scene, Hank puts a snarky woman in her place. Don’t worry, he bangs her about two episodes later.
Again, study his body language, his tone, his slow, calculated thoughts. Notice how as she becomes emotionally agited, he remains cool, smiles gently and focuses all his attention on her. He’s less reactive, and therefore, wins the frame battle. Your frame is your ability to control your emotions, and project confidence.
He paints a picture of her life, a cold read, and he must have come close to the mark, because she storms off following his monologue. He understands that hot women are constantly validated, fawned over, and agreed with, no matter how ridiculous their behavior. By knocking her down a little, she gets angry, then wet for him. His dialogue wasn’t meant to hurt her, it was to show that he didn’t care to even try to win her affection. In this case, he flipped the role from pursuer, to pursued. He’s showing that he has options, and standards, and her attitude is unnaceptable, as she’s not his type.
I can’t count the times a well timed retort to idiocy or bad social behavior has gained me favor with a hottie. This is asshole game, and it often backfires, but often works. But it’s not the content of his words, it’s his unwavering confidence that lands him the girls.
I can picture some girls or White Knights reading this with steam blowing out their ears, already slamming out an essay on what a douche, idiot, loser I am. You’re entitled to that. I’ll even publish it. Realize, you’re doing exactly what the girl in the Hank Moody video did: Having an emotional outburst, while I lazily chip away at my next book and prepare for my next date.
Hollywood jerk game is not the only way to pick up girls, and not the easiest. But it sure sets you apart from the hordes of the desperate, needy and lonely “willing to please” nice guys.
Note. Both these characters ARE nice guys. If you follow the shows, they are often sweet, caring, and attentive to their women (plural). But their way of dealing with testy women, is something else, and that’s why women love them.