Seduce Women Like David Bowie Does

AMPAS Gold Standard SeriesThe other day I met a cute, 28 year old Japanese woman in Best Buy. She was looking for Blu-ray movies and I asked her if she found what she was looking for. She must have thought I was an employee. I grabbed Labrynth, a classic, off the shelf.

“This movie is fantastic. It has goblins and faeries and David Bowie.”

“Oh!” She said. “I have never seen this.”

By this time she realized I was not an employee and her cheeks flushed. “Are you new in Canada?” I asked.

“Yes. I am here one month.”

“You’re here for one month only?”

“No!” She giggled. “I am here for 11 months.”

She had great big Japanime girl eyes, but she would not, or could not hold eye contact. She’d glance up at me, then quickly back down to the floor. Now most newbies would take this as a sign that she’s not interested, or creeped out…but I knew better. She wasn’t walking away, or telling me she had a boyfriend, or asking me to leave her alone, or mentioning how busy she was. She also wasn’t looking around the room for help. Nervous girls will often glance around as if searching for someone to save them. This girl would only look at the floor, then at me, then at the floor, then at me. But her feet were not moving away.

This is how I gauge a woman’s interest. Not if she’s playing with her hair, or touching me, or asking a long series of questions about my life. Is she not leaving? Good. She’s interested.

“You know,” I said, “I teach people how to be more confident for a living. One of the first things I teach them is how to have good eye contact. You have very bad eye contact.”

She looked up at me and smiled, this time holding the eye contact. “I know! I am bad at this!” She exclaimed.

Girls like to learn things from confident men.

I knew I needed to make some physical contact, and I wanted to get a closer look at her body. So I asked, “Are you wearing all black under that jacket?”

“No! I have colour!” She said, responding to my challenge by opening her jacket and showing me her striped shirt. I reached out slowly to feel the fabric and grazed my fingers across her waist. She didn’t mind. Actually, this action, this kino, helped to dissipate much of the nervous, social tension and transformed it into sexual tension, which is much, much better than social tension.

By this point I’d been talking to her for about five minutes, which is an eternity for most newbies, and plenty of time get the number. So I whipped it out (the phone) and said, “What’s your number I’ll text you later, and what do you want to do when we hang out?”

So the trick here was not asking her to hang out, but asking her to invest in the interaction. To make the date her idea. Not my usual strategy, as the man should usually lead, but it was an experiment to gauge her interest.

“Watch a movie!” She said.

“A movie?” I replied. “How are we going to talk to each other if we’re watching a movie?”

She giggled.

“We can watch it at my house. My tv is huge.”

She didn’t say anything. But I noticed that she was no longer averting her eyes to the floor. She was looking straight at me.

“Ok,” she replied.

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3 Comments

  1. Well this is so typical japanese, they eye contact thing. Its just how they are, its a politeness thing. She may have been wanting to look you in the eyes, but out of respect she looks and then puts her eyes on the floor. Its just a cultural thing, never to be mistaken as a sign of non interest.

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