Unconditional Love

ducksMost of my family lives in a small town in the interior of British Columbia, Canada. I rarely see them. Mostly because I’m a city boy, and it’s a long trip to make out to the country. But this year I told myself I would make more effort to connect with them.

Family time. Boooooring.

So I caught a ride out. I’ve been visiting aunts and uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces. Of course, this leaves little time for my interests: Meeting women, writing, and going to the gym. But it’s been fine.

Most of my readers live in capitalist, first world societies, where we are encouraged to move out at eighteen, go to University, get a job, find a wife, make babies and get married. We are pushed by unseen forces towards independence.

When I was in Asia, I noticed most people lived not in bachelor suites, or sorority houses, but with their family. Many of them under one roof. They shared their resources and helped and supported each other. Whether that’s because they were too poor to afford their own apartments or move abroad I’m not sure, but the idea of living with my parents at my age seems ludicrous.

But I’ve found that this trip, reconnecting with my neglected family has been incredibly reinvigorating. The feeling is akin to releasing a burden, or a guilt. I realize that no matter what happens to me, if my business dries up, if I get sick, I will always have family here to support me—as long as I make time to visit and connect with them. You can only get back what you put in.

It’s always a bit awkward when they ask what I do. I was at a gathering and my aunt looked at some strangers and said, “Can you explain your “pickup,” job to them?

Yeah…

And there’s always the question,”So Tony. What do you do now?”

“Well, I’m a self-employed life coach, author, and Internet based entrepreneur.” I watch the hamster wheel spin as they try to sort that out. But instead of the usual barrage of questions and moral judgements, they go, “That’s nice. You should come fishing on Sunday! The lake is nice lately. Uncle Darcy has a new boat.”

I know many of you narcissistic, introverted, individualists dread the thought of visiting your family, simply because it’s an inconvenience. But as an exercise, I suggest you at least give someone from your tree a call, or a visit. Then reflect on how it makes you feel. Good? Bad? Relieved? Safe? Notice this and make a note. You might surprise yourself with something you haven’t found in chasing your goals.

Unconditional love.

***I have coaching trips planned for Toronto, Montreal, Las Vegas, London England, and more (Always Vancouver for discounted rates). I’m just setting up my tour schedule so contact me now to book your spot in my live, infield bootcamps.***

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2 Comments

  1. Yes , it’s a nice feeling , an important feeling , & realization of ( unconditional love from our family ). Shouldn’t the “kids be alright” Tony ? Why are we so messed up ? Why would we get approach anxiety when we have this unconditional love & acceptance , from our family ? These two states are divergent , I know not why.
    That question is for more clever people then me , like you Tony , to figure out , lol. Thanks bro , I phone my Uncle now : ) …It’s been too long since I last talked to him..

  2. I’ve always loved my family…most of them (me my father are on awkward terms). Growing up, I was very lonely and did not have a lot of friends and my family was my only company. If I were to go bankrupt, I know I have parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins to move in with as a safety net. If I lose all my friends, I can call them for comfort. This is something I’m very grateful for. Must confess, I’ve always been a mama’s boy; Haha!

    Treasure your family Tony, especially the younger members. You can live your life how you want, but nature ultimately wants us to get laid so we can continue the family line. After I manage to fuck a bunch girls for my lustful desire, I will use pickup to win the heart of a woman to carry my seed and make me a child. One that I intend to be a better father to than mine was.

    Hey Tony, two questions:

    1. If one of your brothers/cousins asked you to mentor him in pickup pro bono, would you?

    2, If you knocked up a girl, would you be willing to be a father to her child?

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