(Note. When I reference “We” I mean men who read man blogs. Not pickup artists. I am not a pickup artist. I am a man who reads man blogs.)
Over the years I’ve had countless women email me.
Unfortunately most of these are posed in the form of an ad hominem attack or insult. I grow weary of replying so I’ve created a faq.
The faq can also be applied to journalists, who ask the same questions over, and over.
1. Are you teaching men how to sleep with an endless variety of women and then dumping them because you’re a misogynistic womanizer? Or are you teaching them to have a “real” and “meaningful” relationship?
I teach charisma, confidence, fashion sense, integrity, abundance, and humour.
What men do with this skill is up to them.
If they want to bang a bunch of women and not call them back, that’s up to them.
If they want to find love and couple up, that’s up to them.
I ask women to imagine the possibility that men can find equal happiness in multiple, short term, sexually based relationships as they might in a long term monogamous relationship.
Your reality and how you spend your time, is not superior to how others should choose.
You are not a man.
Most people are good people. And good men like to read blogs that will help them with women.
I’m sorry if you were hurt in the past by some jerk who dumped you or didn’t call you back. I’m sorry you were manipulated or abused.
It happens to everyone, men included. I’ve been dumped and played by many, many women. That’s why I learned seduction – so that when I meet girlfriend material I’ll have the skills to keep her interested.
The side effect was that more women found me attractive. Awesome! Now I and my coaches share this with other men. And sometimes we forget we are not in the locker room. We forget that women are listening.
Until you have sex with a man, you don’t have a relationship – you have a friendship. As for a “real and meaningful relationship” I ask you to define “real.”
What is “real” to someone like Leonardo Dicaprio might not be “real” to Chris, the 22 year old art school grad who works at Starbucks and has slept with two women in his life.
In order for him to find and keep “the one,” he needs an education, and that involves seducing, bedding and spending time with many, many women. Not just for sex, but for life experience. Just like you need life experience. Just like you experiment with sex, and multiple partners. So do men.
If you want a guy who has slept with one woman in his life, has never hurt anyone’s feelings, and doesn’t practice approaching women…well, have fun with him. I hope you’re a patient girl who’s cool with jealousy, missionary style sex with a constant unchanging rhythm, and a sickening neediness.
2. Are you a douchebag?
I have friends, male, female, old, young, gay, straight. I’m a slightly left leaning, and an americano junkie.
I believe in freedom of expression. In my free time I like art shows, animals, great literature, long trips to foreign cultures, cuddling, swimming, live music, and beach days.
I also like flirting and I’m skilled on my good days. Good on my bad days. Other days I don’t care or think much about it. There’s other things to do.
Sometimes I talk a big macho talk. But that’s the man in me. I like being a man and identify with my masculinity. I do not see the masculine as evil or oppressive. I see myself as a teacher, brother and father.
But I am primarily a student of life, just like you.
3. How many women have you slept with?
Quite a few. Up until I was 27 it was about 12 in my life. That was only because I was in a band and got lucky a few times. Then I went on long bouts of self loathing and involuntary celibacy. I was super needy, submissive and shy.
I slept with fifteen women the year after I discovered the pickup thing, and it was awesome. That’s what my first novel is about.
I do not identify as a pickup artist. I am Tony. And I have had many great women in my life, monogamous and open relationships, and most are still my good friends.
4. You should just be yourself.
I agree. But a better, more confident, accomplished and attractive version.
5. You are promoting street harassment.
Street annoyance perhaps. No more so then Green Peace, Amnesty International, Free Hugs, street beggars, Iamagirl and so forth.
6. You are promoting rape culture.
Seducing and raping are not even remotely related. I promote rape fantasy maybe. Nothing wrong with that, if it’s what you’re into.
I prevent rape by helping men become less weird and creepy. I turn potential rapists into confident, socially functioning members of society. Their ability to land more dates mean they do not have to rape. They are less jealous because they have choice.
7. You probably don’t have a girlfriend.
Maybe I do and I’m not allowed to say because it will ruin my image as a badass.
8. Do you teach women?
I’ve written a few articles for women, but my niche is men and their interests.
Rather than ignorantly lashing out at the approach coaches, and so on, you should talk to them and learn their techniques. We have wisdom and love talking psychology and self improvement. Learning will help you to better understand and relate to men. You will become a better lover and girlfriend.
Mainstream advice is mostly garbage. But for girls I like this blog.
I wish women would be less fearful of men. I feel it’s my job to make men less creepy and weird, so that you can love them.
9. This would only work on drunk or insecure girls.
I am not teaching pickup tricks. I am helping shy men become better, and more confident.
10. You’re a misogynist. You hate women.
Then why would I spend a decade teaching men how to relate to them? You annoy me sometimes, yes. I’m often disappointed by women, yes. But I don’t hate women and their seemingly irrational behaviour. I love women. I have sisters, and a mother.
Maybe you are projecting your own bias? Maybe you hate women?
Nobody hates women more than women.
11. You manipulate women.
Yes I do. I manipulate women into becoming incredibly intrigued and turned on by me. It’s an amazing skill that anyone can learn, women included. It’s called charm. It’s who I am. It’s not a tactic.
I teach men to be charming. You all like charming men. Not creepy men.
12. You just want to get laid.
What healthy adult doesn’t? Sex is great.
13. You see women as objects.
Do you see yourself as an object?
I do not promote objectification. Women are amazing. Fucking crazy and emotional sometimes. But amazing.
14. What tricks are you using on me? How come I find you so intriguing?
Because I have a blog? Because of how I pay my rent?
15. Why not just “Let it happen naturally?”
If you know a better way for single men who lack confidence with women, to learn about women, other than by approaching many, many women, please let me know.
Being yourself and just letting it happen means nothing to a guy who has heart palpitations at the thought of approaching a pretty girl. Immersion therapy is the only way.
16. What about “Consent?”
We are not rapists. We’re flirtists.
I have a theory. It is men’s job to seduce you. It is your job to keep us around.
17. You’ve offended me
18. This other pickup guy did this offensive thing. Are you like him?
19. This is sexist
It’s a men’s interest blog.
20. Do you use “Negs?”
Not as much as women seem to.
21. Your writing pisses me off.
We don’t practice pickup, dating, seduction, to please society. We don’t give a crap what society thinks. We want to date and love beautiful women.
Some of us want to have lots of sex, with various women.
Some of us want a wife.
We (men who read man blogs) are not evil, sexist, chauvinist, women haters out looking to rape your daughters. We’re just normal men. Boys mostly.
I’ve been writing this blog for six years, and some of it is poorly written, poorly thought out, and crass. But I assure you that my intentions and teachings are good and in women’s best interests.
It is our job to seduce you, and your job to keep us around.
Attraction is a skill that men can learn, just like you. And it is a very, very good thing.
Email me if you have any questions.