She Got Fat
There’s a girl in my novel who gave me a toothy bj on top of a hill. After a short romance, she blew me off without explanation. Since my infatuation was pure — I was mildly devastated. I didn’t see her again for many years, until today. I walked into a cafe, not far from the one I met her in all those years ago, and there she was. She was still a barista, except now, she was overweight, older, and not as magically attractive. She went from Unicorn to pony. If I saw her on the street I wouldn’t change my course and try to pick her up. I wouldn’t even look twice. Such is my shallow nature I suppose.
I ordered my americano and as she brewed my caffeinated delight, I marvelled at the enormous cellulite bulb that had replaced the ripe cherry of an ass.
“How have you been?” I asked.
“Oh…hi! Oh my god, I didn’t…”
“It’s Tony. I know. How have you been?”
“I’ve been good.”
“What have you been up to?”
“Oh, mostly travelling,” she said. “My boyfriend owns a nightclub in Argentina, so I spent a year there with him.”
She then went on to list all of the countries she travelled in the last four years. I sat down to my computer, to write this post. I wondered what her life would have been like, what mine would have been like, if we’d stayed together. Would I still be with her if she got fat? If I was with her, would I be fatter? Would she have travelled to all those countries? No. Probably not. Would I have slept with the dozens of women that followed as I chased the elusive joy? No. Probably not.
As I get older, I become more centred, more famous, more masculine, more physically attractive. And women look forward to a slow decline in beauty. And when they’re old, and fat, and possibly boring if they don’t develop their mind, after a lifetime of vacationing they’ll ask, “Where have all the good men gone?”
Don’t feel bad about those rejections. Don’t fret over being dumped. You have a long life ahead of you. Men age like wine, women age like cheese, and beauty is not a talent. And she’s with someone now who will take care of her, until someone younger, prettier, and sweeter comes along.
I sound bitter because she broke my heart, and now I’m gloating because she’s fat. I’m sharing myself at my worst. Isn’t truth ugly? How many men stay with women they aren’t attracted to because they have no other options? Maybe her personality is amazing, maybe she’s funny, and sweet, and cooks, and cleans, and gives great massages and takes care of her man. I hope so for her sake. Because if he owns a nightclub I’m sure he has options.
Girls only have a few years to capitalize on their beauty. So why would she spend them with an unemployed writer? And if she has a loyal boyfriend, why would she need to diet and exercise?
Being a girl is hard too.
I wondered what she was thinking about me. Probably not much.
Really Tony ? We men get more physically attractive as we age ? I’m 58 & I’m having lots of problems getting dates. No dates. For every 50 phone numbers I get I get one date. Never a second date. I get lots of phone numbers , I do lots of approaches , few dates. Rarely a second date. I think it’s because I’m ug ( ugly ) , to the woman. Ugly in the sence that I look to old. Sure my “game” is lacking , I come accross like Eddy , just a friendly , pleasant guy. I don’t look like Eddy. Eddy is big strapping kid , muscles & good looks. He’s in his 30’s. He doesn’t run game , just be’s his friendly & confident self , the chicks melt for him.
They don’t melt for me. They freeze up , when it comes to a date with me. Sure , I don’t have as much confidence as Eddy , but 50 numbers , only one date ? You’re cute , Tony , Eddy is Mr. Rugged Handsome , & I’m middle aged. I think male looks have a lot more to do with it then we think , as has been my experience & thoughts lately. We age like good wine, for sure , but not on our looks. Frankly , I wish you were right. It seems to me I’ll never get a little Asian cutie , or even a sexy older Asian one.
Thanks bro , for letting you know where I’m at.
Tim. You have to look beyond your looks and think about lifestyle. More attractive with age has a lot to do with lifestyle, not just looks. There are plenty of guys who aren’t traditionally good looking. Neither I nor Eddy are that great looking, not more so than you are. I know you’ve been practicing this stuff for a long time, and you’re getting older, but what can you do about that?
Maybe save up and take a trip to Se Asia or Eastern Europe?
Ok , I get it. Lifestyle is the key. As we get older , we can get- it – together – with – lifestyle ( improvement ). S. E. Asia sounds like ‘Cutie Land’ , indeed. What’s this I hear that they want you to meet their parents , & are expecting a ring on the 2nd date ? Nevertheless , one woman is good enough. Many women better , but one is plenty. One Chinese girl , that I could meet in China , ( I love their sexy accent ) , or a Viet. ( big ba- boons -skas , I think this type of Viet. women are from the North , way up in the mountains, far from the coast ) , or a humble Cambodian girl would be a treat. They say Thai’s have the most beautiful women in the world , so they’re all good also.
I admit defeat. I’ll have to get a “mail – order – bride ” , from S.E. Asia. I like your suggestion , Tony. I like it because it’s reality. A heavy dose for sure. Local Asian girls are un – attainable ( for me ). I feel like one of those fat , middle aged men that picks his wife from a catalogue , & meets her at YVR. However , it’s all good ’cause , like Eddy says “You have to take what you can get”. It’s time I parachuted out of La- la Land , & put my feet on Earth.
Haha. Man, I don’t mean get a mail order bride. Don’t take it that way. I’m just saying, you could go to Se Asia and meet lots of cute girls and there’s no shame in that. None at all.
As a woman who looks about 15 yrs younger than my actual age (could be good genes – could be that I teach/perform belly dance for a living that keeps me you and young at heart), but I get asked out A LOT.
I rarely accept.
More often than not it’s because it is usually men of a MUCH younger age doing the asking. The last date I had with someone near my age (I’m 49), was spent watching him ogle whatever female happened to be walking by at the moment… Even to the point of making several ‘oooh now SHE’s hot faces’… He asked me out on a 2nd date, to which I said not a chance.
Now I don’t know what your dating behavior is like Tim – but your comment about wanting some humble (read – submissive) Asian Babe w/ big ba- boons -skas just MIGHT be why you DON’T get many dates, and even fewer 2nd dates. My advice is to pull your act together, figure out what you really want from a relationship (beside sex), and work on what YOU have to offer or bring to the game. Do that, and look for a compatible woman in her 40s/50s (Asian or otherwise). But get YOUR game together first!
Oops, sorry Tim… I was confusing your comments w/ some of those by Tony D (please forgive my snarkiness)
That being said – my advice about pulling YOUR act together, figuring out what you really want from a relationship (beside sex), and working on what YOU have to offer or bring to the game stands.
Best of luck to you.
You can’t start a relationship with a woman until you have sex. Otherwise it’s a friendship. This is why seduction is just as important as the other stuff.
I’d love to know if any of your “game” actually gets you more than just a date or two, or that elusive “ass” you seem to want. Is your deal just to help men get a date or two? Which would make u many of the words that come to mind when I do the natural thing and judge you, not actually knowing you. Or are you actually teaching to help men find their happiness(which yes ok that may be those one night stands of joyous moments for some), a chance in hope of an actual relationship? And you yourself, the seduction “professional”, are you capable of a real relationship, or just trying to enjoy the few moments of women in their “prime un-aged beauty”, prior to what your would refer to as rotting cheese?
Hi Meagan.
I help men seduce women. What they do after that is up to them. Just as you might not see the relation between many short sexual encounters and happiness, many men fail to see the relation of being monogamous with one woman, or what many call a “real relationship,” and happiness.
I am not mainstream relationship advice and I don’t write stories to make girls happy. I’m sorry you’re offended at my anecdotal tale about my ex girlfriend who got fat and my egoic response.