The Passive Agressive Lover
I was watching this documentary about alpha males and wanted to share my own recent experience with a jealous male, who although wanted to be alpha, was quite insecure and it may have cost him attraction with his girl. Sometimes I mess with people. I’m a jerk.
So I’m at the club and I’m talking to this beautiful persian girl when her boyfriend appears. I wasn’t running game really because it was obvious they were together – which probably made me more attractive. Anyway I like people sometimes so I make casual small talk about life, travel, etc. The guy was a bit too close for comfort and holding very squinty and lasered eye contact. His vibe was just off, like he was sharpening a knife in his mind. This happens sometimes. I pull my zen dog whisperer frame and keep cool, positive and calm; like a large stone in a small creek. I don’t walk away. I can’t walk away, my ego won’t allow it. But after a minute of this guy I can’t help it, I ask, “Are you two in love?”
They look at each other and he says, “Yeah. She’s my girlfriend.”
“I know. You guys make a good couple. Can I be honest with you though?”
“Of course,” he says.
“Well, you’re sort of giving off a really awkward, intimidating energy. Look how close you are to my face, and how you hold direct, unsmiling eye contact. Now I’ll admit, if you weren’t here I would flirt with your girlfriend because look at her, she’s beautiful (she beams a smile.) But you should know that what you are doing now is strange behaviour.
She laughs, he smiles. I back up a step and stand beside some other people. “It’s ok,” he says, taking her hand and leaving the room. Ok, no worries. (There’s no real lesson here. I’m just telling you what happened.)
Fast forward an hour – I’m outside with my arm around a nice German babe and the same guy approaches me with the that intense, focused energy, right into my space. He’s not aggressive, but cold and hard.
“Hey. I need to talk to you,” he says.
“Ok man. I’m here, talk.”
“I want you to come with me.” He takes a step backwards.
“No…I don’t think so. I’m with this girl.”
“Come with me.”
“Errr…Nope.”
A pause, he looks around, then back at me.
“You said something to me about my girlfriend earlier. And I want to talk to you about it.”
I scan the area outside the bar and do not see his girlfriend. I assume they had a fight, probably due to some jealous outburst, possibly due to my remark. Maybe he had a major life epiphany and wanted to thank me. What I know is that I don’t know anything, really. I couldn’t even presume.
“I don’t know who you are,” I lie. “I’ve never seen you before.” I say in this calm, slow, emotion free tone. Matter of factly.
“You were talking to me and my girlfriend inside.”
“No. I don’t know who you are. I’m sorry.”
I say this quite loud, and a crowd starts to focus on our location like sharks sniffing blood. I stand a bit taller and gaze in the direction of the bouncers. I keep my emotions in check. There was no fucking way I was going to have a logical dialogue with this guy. He probably wanted to stab my face. Even if he was nice and intelligent, it was pointless. It was a bad idea. If I walk off and discuss things, I will just end up lecturing him on social intelligence. But what was in it for me? Just egoic victory, nothing more. And things could go horribly wrong. It was a win for me to quell this assault before it begins. Massive social pressure was my easiest option.
“You talked to me inside.”
“No. I don’t know you. Leave me be.”
I back up, and when he notices the crowd’s attention he slouches, jams his hands into his pockets and walks off into the night.
I go off with the German girl.
“Did you know that guy?”
“No. I’ve never seen him before.”
“You didn’t talk to his girlfriend?” She asked.
“Hey,” I said, squeezing her closer. “where do you live anyway?”
“Just down here. Not far.”
“Ok.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCYVCI9NGUU
You should make a post on how guys should start off. Most guys don’t know the starting point and end up making costly mistakes and wasting valuable time. When should they get a coach, what material should they read, etc.. Also, should they come to you as a complete newbie or do a few weeks of approaches. Much appreciated
start by reading all his blog posts. there is A LOT of newbie info on here.
Yeah in my new blog design I will have a sidebar link to all my newbie articles.
what are your thoughts on this?
http://www.bulletproofonpickup.com/the-marriage-zone-by-bullet/
The link is dead.
http://www.bulletproofonpickup.com
go to the marriage zone article
Oh I would say it is fairly accurate. Men age like wine, women age like cheese. As far as looks are concerned. Not big surprise here but a nice graphic and well presented blog post.
Hey, Tony D good enough article. A few pointers though, I’ve been reading your blogs and honestly, your technique is sloppy. You sound like a beta if not epsilon minus. I…being a true Alpha understands that it might be hard for a fatter, shorter, less attractive man such as yourself to get with women. With my system I never get a single “No”.
What’s the point of being rude?
You never get rejected? Give us a break.
He’s just teasing me. It’s ok.
I’m protective haha
Loved the post!!! Keep them coming!
great story !
Can relate as I do get a little jealous sometimes. Never quite as bad though.
Gotta learn to keep your cool at all times !
Nothing so beta as jealousy.
I know and I’ve been there. I try to keep my stories real. I could have confronted this guy and maybe he was actually being cool. I don’t know. But this is what I did.
“Massive social pressure was my easiest option.”
I used to think it’s all about whooping an aggressive, confrontational guy’s ass, but then I discovered it’s all about leveraging social situations to your advantage.
Trust me even though violence seems like a fun option, it’s just too dangerous. Guys get seriously murderous when it comes to their women. It’s pathetic but not really their fault. It’s not like they’re reading self development blogs. Gotta lead by example. And the cooler you are, the more their women like you. They don’t understand why it’s happening. It’s like Jedi stuff.
One of the biggest paradoxes I’ve had in game is a potentially hostile guy or threat can be neutralized if you’re genuinely friendly and kind. If done properly, the thought of dick measuring you doesn’t even cross their mind as they rather shoot the shit with you.
This was how some of the most effective “AMOGing” I seen went down. I’ve had it happen to myself once or twice. More old school community strategy of gaming the entire room instead of focusing as much as you can on your desired girl
This is interesting, what do you think the guy were after? do you think he wanted a fight and just smash your face or do you think he wanted some tips or something? What was his body language when he said he needed to talk to you? I feel the “come with me” might indicate that he wanted to punch your face as a quick satisfaction for his jealousy.
There was a slight hint of aggression. He had alpha male posturing and when it comes to women, men tend to be overbearing and jealous. So I just avoided him.