One of the criticisms of the pickup artist method of self-development is that it’s creepy, intrusive, or weird. I totally agree. I’ve creeped out my fair share of women by approaching them at bus stops, in bars, at parties. But I knew that women are attracted to men that are internally validated, so I did it anyway. I had a higher purpose, or maybe I’m just selfish.
Do you think picking up girls is creepy? Here’s what you should ask yourself:
How bad do you want it?
If you want to live a reality where you date pretty women, many women, younger women, better women…you’re going to have to creep a few out. That’s the price you will have to pay. You will need to embarrass yourself and feel slightly uncomfortable from time to time. There is no way around this.
This is how you develop balls.
Part of the success with women formula is disengaging from the mechanisms that cause fear and resistance. The fear of public ridicule is a powerful anti-motivator. “What will they think of me if I creep that girl out?”
This resistance comes from a deep primal instinct. Maybe we weren’t meant to live in cities, surrounded by millions of random, nameless strangers. Perhaps we were designed to thrive within a familiar tribe; yet here we are–anonymous in a seething crowd.
Picture a caveman lost in the jungle. He happens upon some females from another tribe. The females are fearful of this newcomer and run back to report the intruder. The alpha males hunt down the stranger and bludgeon him with rocks, place his Neanderthal head on a pole and eat his flesh (just a little flair).
Most likely you won’t be murdered for practicing pickup on strange women, but the primal fear is there. The most likely repercussion of a bad approach is that the woman will find you mildly annoying and ask you to leave. A worst case scenario may involve a jealous boyfriend going agro; or if you practice at work, developing a certain undesired reputation amongst peers.
When I was learning pickup, I didn’t practice on my friends. I moved to another city and went to bars where I knew I would likely never see these people again. Sure I wanted to meet women, but I understood that the process of transformation would only be initiated by repeatedly confronting my subconscious fears. I needed to develop many, many reference memories.
You want to be able to look into a woman’s eyes, and have her see that you are a man of deep experience. You are not afraid. You are not concerned about what others think of you. You are internally validated. You have a sense of entitlement. You are a (cough) real man.
If you need to act weird and creep a few girls out to achieve this goal, isn’t that worth the price?
Guys will read books about this stuff, they will watch dvd’s and some will even take a bootcamp but they will never attract the sort of women they really want. If you don’t have the balls to face an uncomfortable situation on your own, how will you deal with a woman that attracts male attention wherever she goes? How will you deal with men that want to steal your woman?
When your woman meets another charming man, a man with more experience, with a greater sense of abundance, with less attachment to outcome…will you blame her for leaving you?
When this happens to you, or one of your friends…ask yourself if things might have been different had you faced those weird, creepy, awkward situations head on and developed the frame control necessary to deal with hot women, on their level.
Are you willing to deal with a few haters to date the girl of your dreams? Or are you going to wait for the friend of a friend to introduce you at the 2015 staff Christmas party?
Until then, why not creep a few girls out, and have yourself a good chuckle. It’s worth the price.
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