Imagine a man in a hushed whisper, like a little baby girl, “Hi…I just wanted to say, umm, you look really great today? Hi…”
That’s what most new guys sound like. Then their approaches fall apart and they come back to me with, “I just don’t know what to say. Tony. What do I say!?”
“Don’t worry about it. Speak up, stand straight, look her in the eyes.” I reply.
Vocal projection is so critical, so important.
One exercise I use is to have the student sit forty feet away from me while they explain to me their issues.
“What?” I yell. “I can’t hear you!”
I see their lips moving but hear nothing except a dull, insecure mumble.
“I just…just don’t know what to say next…” They hiss.
“Look me in the eyes!” I yell. “Speak up, stand up straight, louder, louder, yell! Roar like a lion for fucks sake!”
“Roar?” They look at me, bewildered.
“I want you to scream, ‘I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks of me!!!’”
“I can’t do that.” They whisper, looking amazed, terrified, gazing downward at their little baby girl feet.
“What? Speak up. Yes you can. What, are you worried what people think about you? You think you date beautiful women, but you can’t make noise in public? You can’t embarrass yourself?”
This is where some clients will get upset, and say I’m insulting them.
I pull out my tiny little violin and make a pretty little song about feelings.
I have little tolerance for the weak of spirit. If you come on my bootcamp you will learn to speak up, take up space, stand straight and look women in the eye.
If you can get that down, this whole pickup thing will sort itself out.
Believe in yourself, nobody else will. You must BELIEVE that your reality is true, and powerful.
Women want leadership.
Most of us are drunken sheep bobbing running from the wolf. Be the wolf, not the sheep.
Be loud, stand up straight, use eye contact and quit worrying about what to say.
“What do I say?” They ask.
“Stay in for two minutes. Speak up.”
“Two minutes? What do I talk about for two minutes.”
“Can you talk to your best friend for two minutes?”
“What do you talk about?”
“Video games, online poker, snowboarding…”
“What? Speak up. Look me in the eye. Stand straight.”
“That stuff is fine. See that girl, go talk to her about your favourite video games. Say, ‘Hi. I love Super Mario World. It’s amazing.”
Nobody is going to give you confidence. You have to make the choice to be that way.
I could get into the evolutionary biologist’s theories on why women like men to be loud, I could write about cave men and all that. But this is really logical:
Women like confident, extroverted men.