Why Isn’t She Texting Me Back?

***Before you read this article, think. Do you have many, multiple options? Does she have many, multiple options? The answer is always NO and YES. The absolute best thing you can do, is put your email in that box on the right, get my free ebook, and begin to educate yourself on female psychology, seduction and self-development. She is not texting you back, because you don’t have what it takes to attract her the way you are attracted to her. Change this today.***

Why doesn’t she answer my text? How do I get her to text me back? Or call me back?

Why Doesn’t Diablo ever stay in hell? I have answers on this page, but if you’re really desperate?

First of all, before you scroll to the replies to ask me a question….(I get over 11,000 queries for, “Why won’t she text me back,” Per month). Stop and do this one thing….



Turn off your phone.

I get a lot of texting questions like, “How do I text her so that she replies?” and, “What do I say in text to create attraction?” Also, “Why won’t she call me back? Why won’t she answer my Facebook message?”

There are some common rules when texting, or utilizing social media. Rules like; always end the text on a high note, and never be the last to text.

But remember the Matrix….there are no rules. There is no damn spoon. 

I have a simple hack for no-replys.


Here it is!

You wait….

That’s right.

You do something else

Clean your room. Go for a beer with a buddy. Workout. Go downtown. Approach more women.

Why isn’t she texting you back?

I’ve gathered my panel of experts. Nietzsche, Einstein, Feynman, Picasso, Hemingway. They’ve conclude…well maybe:

–          She doesn’t know you

–          She’s with a guy she’s dating at the moment

–          She’s on her period

–          She’s having a fat day

–          You said something she considers “Creepy.”

–          She lost her phone

–          She’s not attracted to you

–          She’s busy

–          She’s at work

–          She’s having sex with an alien from one of the moons around Mars

Here’s what you do. You text her something, then you wait. If she doesn’t reply within a few days, you text her again. If she still doesn’t reply,

You wait!

You wait. Ok. You fucking wait, you impatient troll. Stop being so damn needy.

I’ve had girls get back to me THREE DAYS LATER…even THREE MONTHS LATER, “Hey Tony, I’m having a party tonight.”

Yeah. So chicks are weird and flaky. Deal with it. Just because you would leave work early and drive to the next city on siphoned gas to get laid doesn’t mean a thing to her. Most hot women have men orbiting on standby, dicks in hand. You’re just another orbiting dick.

Text for a reply, nothing more.

But why won’t she text me back Tony?

Right. I digress. Stay with me.

Yesterday I met a girl on the street. We clicked,( because I have game from approaching a thousand women in one year). I got her on Facebook. I sent her a few messages and asked her out for coffee. Twelve days passed and no reply. It sucked, because she was really hot. But that’s all I knew about her. So I unfriended her. Why would I keep some chick that didn’t text me back on my phone? What a waste of space and emotional baggage.

Later that week she spotted me at a bar. She ran up, hugged me and said she would “Love to go for coffee” with me. I told her I had deleted her from my Facebook. “What? Why would you delete me? I can’t believe you deleted me Tony!”

Anyway after we had sex, she told me, “I thought you were weird.”

Every chick is different and half of them are nuts. They are up in their heads too with the eternal chatter, the little ego voice. Life is scary for girls too. Especially with all those dicks being offered. Guys are so needy. it’s frightening. We’re big, with fists, and we want in them. In their pussies. But we’re also nice, and smell good, and we’re strong.

Get it? Think about the woman’s perspective too. This is called consciousness.

So back to texting and Facebook. Wait one year, then go back and re-read your text messages. Especially the ones where the girl was speaking with you and then suddenly stopped, (I really hate that—for the women readers). You can usually spot why this happened. How? Because you have a fresh perspective. You waited.

You might need more experience with women. You might need to learn some game, and approach many women, and date many more women. Because experience is the key to everything. How horrible would that be?

Also, understand that the universe is random and many especially younger women lack the confidence to go direct and say, “Thank you, but I’m just not interested right now.” I really wish they would be straighter with us…but such is life.

My honest advice on texting and social media is:

Don’t, “try,” to be funny. Sarcasm doesn’t translate well through texting (unless you’re me.) If she liked you enough to give you her contact, just make it happen–propose a meet “Hey. Let’s meet tomorrow. When are you free.” (No question marks…sometimes. It looks needy.)

-It doesn’t matter what the date is. It could be a picnic with Pringles and Heineken, or shopping for fishing lures. Try to avoid movie dates at the theatre. A movie date at your house is great! It’s up to you. Just make it fun.

– Realize most girls probably won’t meet up with you no matter what you say. By most, I mean seven out of ten. Don’t give up! Don’t dwell in self-pity land. Don’t get upset if she stops talking or won’t meet you. Deal with it. There are so many babes at the mall, or the beach, or the next town over.

Sooo many women roam this vast globe. So don’t cry if she doesn’t text you back. 

– Be positive. Be fun. Don’t be angry, sending lame messages like, “Why won’t you text me back? I thought we HAD SOMETHING.”  So shameful. You lose. 

– Be persistent to a point. Don’t just give up. Women go by their emotions, so if you make them pee their pants with laughter, they might be curious enough to meet you. 

-If she thinks your humour is weird–she’s just not as smart as you. No biggie.

– Don’t care. Really…it’s just a girl. There are so many more, at the mall, the go go bar. 

– Short or long messages, it doesn’t matter. But let go of how much you care. You care too much. Let go, be free from thinking outside yourself, where you judge every step. Why let go? Because she’s either going to meet you, or she’s not, and the texting doesn’t matter all that much. Or maybe it does?? See how thinking this way can drive you insane?

You have two options here:

1. Go meet more women

2. Focus on texting

It’s up to you how you spend your time. Personally, I prefer talking to more, new women, in real life.

So now you are probably like “Thanks Tony. Some Dating Coach. Thanks for Nothing.”

And to that I say…You’re welcome.

If you wait, she will probably text you back. It might be in a month, or a week, or an hour.



Go do something else. Grow some balls. Work out. Read a book. Start a small business. Do your homework. Jerk off!

Tomorrow morning, go to the nearest mall, and approach one woman. Say “Hi. My name is Tony. I’m an awesome dating coach from Canada.”

“Really?” She might say. “A dating coach from Canada?”

“No.” You will reply. “I’m just kidding. Hey…you’re cute.”

Before you post a comment, please read this post called, “Are you a needy bitch?”




  1. no name says

    My favorite line, “Anyways after we had sex…”. But really thanks, I really like this girl but she won’t respond to my facebook msg. I asked her on a date and she said yes so we are trying to figure out a date and yesterday she was all like I’ll get back to you tomorrow, and today, no response :sad: But hey your right there are plenty of fish in the sea (But if I reel this fish in it will be my biggest most wonderful catch ever). So all in all thank you

    • Juan Gomez says

      yo man i aint trollin but keep after that guuuuurrrrrrllllllllll…….if she is as awesome as you said homie, turtle her butt till she finally wants to go out……turtle is just being her best friend while she es datin another holmes till dey break up…..then u r her best homie then you get her homie. Remember…….mi nombre es Juan…yo voy al playa….PAZ Y AMOR HOMIES!

      • a girl says

        As obnoxious as that was written, Juan is absolutely right. If you really want a girl, you can have her as long as you’re persistent!!!

        • douche says

          Wrong. If she doesn’t show interest after a few days, LET HER GO, don’t insist, turning into her best friend, waiting that one day she’ll just simply wake up and say “I love you after all, let’s have sex and marry”. She’s not interested and also shouldn’t you be. Keep your distance, maybe she’ll notice it and she might come to fill the void.

  2. Ebony Bryson says

    This helped. I’ve had a guy just keep on texting me. About every other day. Non stop. He creeps on my facebook page. But every time I delete him or something, he creeps on me..at church..or at a game. What can I do so that he takes the hint? I’ve tried countless itimes asking him to stop texting me and nothing is working. He is a freak!

    • Tony D says

      He sounds immature. If you tell him to stop, make sure he knows you mean it. You could then block his number and his access to your Facebook. If you aren’t really freaked out, just ignore him. Don’t reply at all.

      If he creeps on you at a game or whatever, just deal with it, or tell him to stop. If he’s really, really a creep, and not just a normal guy trying to pick you up, being persistent, then you gotta let him know you are seriously creeped out. Show him my blog maybe.

    • Hamilton says

      Umm if you’ve told him repeatedly and he still hasn’t complied you need to escalate. Is he young and at home with his parents? If so, tell them what’s going on. If an adult, you need to contact the authorities. There are crazy people out there. There is a difference between persistent and harassment.

      • Tyler says

        So this one girl I talked to for about 2 to 3 weeks we talked and she seemed really interested in me she told me she likes someone else and I respected that but we still talked and she flirted back even after she said she likes someone. Out of nowhere she stops texting me I texted her 3 times within a week no reply I didn’t text her for a week and text her yesterday and no response I know she has her phone because I saw her on it today but I don’t know why she stopped texting me she isn’t dating anyone and it’s bugged the crap out of me

    • says

      Just have sex with him. Then he will realize that you not all that and better and prettier girls are out there who could satisfy him a million times better than you and he will ignore you. Lets face it. you not good enough for him. After sex with you he will be so disappointed that he wasted all that time on you and you will finally get what you want. TRUTH

  3. Luis says

    Damn i was reading the whole thing and tony sounds like he REALLY knows what he is talking about. And EVERYTHING he said is true! Im talking to this girl (i REALLY like, shes perfect for me!), and she does the same thing. She frequently stops texting me back. Im going to take the advice and hope she text me back soon. Ty for the advice :)

    Ohh Tony, so what if she doesn’t text me back. I see her in school !!! What do i do then do i say hi or what ! Ima freak out cause i dont know what to do!!! Pls help!

    • Tony D says

      Luis. Don’t get obsessed it’s not a good thing. Just try to close her, set up a date, ask her out. Get rejected or score, then move on. Women like men of action.

      • S my D says

        Okay here is the thing, I agree with you on waiting and not obsessing over why she wont text back, but I sure as hell do not agree with your shitty little opinion about being just another orbiting dick. Number one its not totally true that the hot girl has guys orbiting around her all the time, number two: I’m a fucking maverick and I for one do not orbit around like the others waiting for my goddamn turn because its always my turn and to add to that I’ve got women orbiting me because like I said I’m a maverick who goes off and does his own thing and doesn’t give a shit. I assume that you are one too so you probably get were I’m coming from. Lol. P.S instead of having to wait for her to text back…if you know what you are doing you can send a text that will get her interested and make her text back. Cheers

    • ur friendly bro zane says

      dude don’t worry bout it too much… just confront her in a funny/non-serious way don’t come at her all pissed dude, just kinda joke around with her and then ask her about it calmly. that’s what i always do and my girl never gets mad or weirded out by that bcuz it’s said in a joking way

      • bar star says

        I met a model at the bar Friday, she came up to me, we danced, made out. I gave her my number, and all of a sudden she hits the call button my phone(so she would have my number) I didnt plan on texting her for a few days. So I’m walking out of the bar and her fat friend totally robbed her from me. She then texted me this {Hey I am so sorry! I just had to be there for my friend.Trust me I would have loved to spend more time with you haha} I’m usually the kind of guy to play a girl, but this one was a DIME. But then I started thinking, if I make myself look easy and text smileys and shit, she’ll think she can do better. (And I would be one of those orbiting dicks) So I pretended not to care. She then texted me the next day saying she would not make it to the bar that night, and she then asked if I would miss her.
        I then replied “I think il survive”(I was slightly intoxicated at the time)
        Then she replied”ok have fun then
        So I left it at that.
        I then waited a day, and said “hey you” no reply it’s been one day. I’m probably going to give it 3 days and text her again, or should I wait and patrol the bar. Not sure. Bahaha I’m not begging for advice but if you could give me your opinion, it would be appreciated.

        • Tony D says

          Understand that she has more options than you can comprehend. Your text was a rightfully a little annoyed if you had plans and she flaked. If you didn’t then you sound a bit too annoyed.

          My suggestion, call her instead of texting. Leave a message for her to call you back. Have a convo.

          • k seek love says

            Hey tony! But what if you text a random shit like ” tbh I was being afraid to talk to girl like you and was being dumb” is this statement creepy!! Actually I was being so dumb and kind of ashamed.If yes how can you make her delete up from her memory!!And yes she didn’t text me back▪▪▪▪▪▪should I text her back tomorrow? And what if she doesn’t text back again???

          • Keith says

            If you feel you want to, email her one more time tomorrow. Just be honest,yet subtle. Wait for a response. If nothing happens after a few days or so, let it go my friend.

  4. Eric Seel says

    Tony i need help this girl named lauren is not texting me back no matter how hard i try and i really like this girl a lot, i dont know if im annoying her or if she is just upset with me, not that i did anything wrong. but anyways please help me.

      • Sam says

        But if you show a girl that you don’t care then what in the world is gonna make her like you. And if a girl isn’t responding then you should talk to her in person, girls do not like guys who can not hold a conversation outside of a phone, it might be the reason why she’s not responding. Plus if you talk to her in person it’ll be harder for her to ignore you.

  5. Nathan Gardley says

    Ok, I really don’t know what is going on here! So yesterday I met this girl, her name is Alexa and when we were talking she was smiling and giggling a lot and she asked me a lot of qestions. She seemed kind of nervous while talking to me. Then she asked me for my number. After class I get home after a few hours, and then I texted her saying hey. Then she said hey back, and then there was like a 20 minute silence because I was trying to figure out how to manuver my new phone, but then I texted back but she never texted back! and now its been like 18 hours or so, and i’ve texted her a few times within that time frame. I don’t really care what happens though, cuz I have my eyes on another girl who is just as cute. 😉

  6. says

    So ive been talking to this girl for a while, and the first time i hung out with her went pretty great. But then like a week after she, would hardly ever talk to me or hangout when i asked, which honestly i wasnt that upset about haha but this last sat i texted her and asked if she wanted to hangout, and she said yeah. so we hungout and it went pretty great again, and i ended up kissing her at the end of the night. :mrgreen: but then i texted her sunday night, and no response….so i waited and texted her tuesday….no response. and i havent texted her today. I mean i want to, cus i really like this girl…but i dont wanna be THAT GUY. haha so some advice would be appreciated.

    • Tony D says

      Jon, just wait a few days. If she doesn’t get back to you, try calling her, or texting again. Just make sure you give 24 hours at least in between attempts.

      • says

        thanks for the advice! I mean the last thing i want is to seem desperate. Its just different with this girl, i just wanna talk to her all the time….which i guess could kinda be a bad thing

      • Robert Q. says

        This girl and I have been dancing around each other for a while. She is recently separated and has a kid. We got to talking a week ago, she told me she is into me but things are complicated (obviously) Then we started texting despite her saying she wasn’t ready to jump into anything. For four days we were talking back and forth with typical get to know you texts, everything seemed cool. On the fifth day I texted her with a quick comment busting her about her team (basketball tournament related) I haven’t heard anything back. Until then everything was fine and I don’t think it was that text that upset her. I stop texting her. It is now Tuesday and I’m waiting on her. I will see her on Thursday at the bar, should I text her before then??

  7. brandon says

    Life is scary for girls. Especially with all those dicks being offered to them at every intersection of their lives. And most guys are so needy it is frightening. Then they are also scared of being labeled “sluts.”

    this is gold.

    The way i go about it, if i text a girl and she doesnt reply, i never text her again. Why? Because if somebody wants to talk to you they will hit you up, period. What do you think tony?

    • Tony D says

      I have used persistence in the past and it worked. But now I prefer to let them choose and pursue me. It depends on how bad you want it. Sometimes it is better to let the girl go. Sometimes they come back. If they do, you have them.

  8. chris says

    long story short i got this girls number from work that i hit it off with. i called her to let her know my number and to take her out. but she seemed busy that weekend with graduating and what not so after she graduated she texted me and we talked for a little bit. i tried calling her yesterday 2 times but no answer. she called me back about an hour after and i just missed the call. i called her back 2 times right after she called me with no answer? i tried texting her a couple hours after i called and she still has not responded. what the hell is that, y call me and then not answer the phone when i try to call you right back. its been 24 hours since i heard back

  9. Tom says

    Ok, i was hanging out with my friend last week and he invited his girl friend over who brought a friend. She was really cute and i felt like we really hit it off, we went swimming and played pool basketball and we were all over each for the ball and she also laughed a lot. That night she added me on Facebook and my bros girlfriend said she thought i was really nice and super cute so i waited a day to talk to her and ask for her number. We were texting and i asked her if she wanted to see a movie this week and she told me she had plans tonight but would really like to do something this week with a smile face. About an hour later she stopped texting ( i think fell asleep) but she didnt text back the whole next day. So i texted her a day and half later and we were having good conversations and she was using a lot of smiles and later that night she randomly stopped again and never responded. Its not like shes avoiding all my text cause the 3 times ive started texting her she responds within in 10 minutes so im confused as hell as what to do, is this just her being nice, should i stop texting her till she send the first or should i wait another day and try again?

    • Tony D says

      It sounds like you are texting her far too much. An hour later should never come. It’s always a few texts, six each tops, and then set a date. If she does not agree to the date you don’t text for a day and a half. Then, six texts tops and a date.

      Or, you could call her on the phone. If she doesn’t answer, just say, “Hey it’s Tom, call me back.”

      Or, you could set up a party with your social circle, maybe at a bar, or at your place, and invite her. But tell her to bring you a present if she comes. If she brings you a present, you rule, if not…whatever.

      Wouldn’t it be funny if she brought you a present? You would be her man that night.

          • Maximus says

            Well, I’m not yet in. This is how it goes:

            I’m in contact with an ex of mine. The reasons for the breakup were private and had nothing to do with loss of attraction.
            We spoke on facebook and i suggested we should meet up again and have dinner or something and she agreed. I promised to let her know. After which i didn’t for 2 months (stupid, i know). Now i contacted her again through sms and called her the same day. We spoke a little and i reminded her of our agreement. She said: yeah i promised you and i had been waiting for you to contact me. So we decided to meet up but since she is a nurse, she is not always available in the weekends. So she said: send me 3 dates and i’ll have a look at my schedule. I ended the conversation after 15 by saying that i still had to work on a presentation.
            I sent her 3 dates 24 hours ago but haven’t received anything back. Weird, those girls.
            So it’s running pretty smooth in the first place and then suddenly nothing…

  10. Noah says

    Ok so I just met this girl at an airport. We where both on layover heading to Maui. We talked for like 2.5-3 hours about stuff. I made her laugh blush whatever. I drew her a picture which she fell in love with and it seems she likes me. This was 3 days ago. We both leave on Friday-Saturday and I wanna see her one last time before I neve see her again. She won’t text me and we talked about hanging out before she left to go back east. She’s from Kentucky me Cali. What do I do?

    • Tony D says

      I would say, write an angry blog post and send her the link.

      No seriously, there’s nothing much you can do except wonder why you are an option and not a priority. Look at yourself and figure what you can improve. Your status, physique, style, attitude? There’s something you can work on today. Let the idea of getting this girl go.

  11. says

    I was textin this girl I like, I told her on Sunday let’s go to the movies she said sure when? I said this Thursday And she told me ” you know what the bad thing is? I got homework everyday” I said ” oh I see, nvm then some other day then?” got no reply.. She does this a lot she won’t reply to a text and then a few days later she will text me with “heyy” btw when we hang out sometimes with friends she always make me caress her arm?.. We are just friends right now but I like her and I’m confused… Thanks.. oh! and she knows I like her, friends that got big mouths told her

    • Tony D says

      It sounds to me like you are in the “LJBF” zone. Let’s just be friends. It’s a tough spot to get out of. The trick is to never end up there in the first place.

  12. Anthony says

    ive known this girl name kiana for over a year and I really like a but she has a boyfriend i told her that i love her and she also said that she loves me too but i was talking to my friend and he said that me and her make a cute couple and he told me that that she said she will always love Daniel her BF even if he doesn’t like her i personally think that is retarded that she will still like Daniel even if he doesn’t like her,me and kiana have been texting for a few days and one day i text her and she doesn’t respond and i text her the next 3 days and she still doesn’t respond and my friend says that she has been busy i think she is ignoring me since her BF also knows taht i love her what should i do should i look for another girl or should i hope that her and her BF break up and then me and her can date. what should i do plz tell me?

  13. Jake says

    Hey man, I just recently met this girl, who seemed really into me. She hugged me a lot, blushed whenever I said things, etc. Anyway, I asked her out, sort of jokingly, but she said yes. Soon after, she left. I texted her asking if she was really dating me now or what, and she said yes she really wanted to. Anyway, we made plans for a movie about 5 days later because she apparently has a very busy schedule (her acquaintances confirmed this). But when the day came, she said she’s sick and that she can’t make it, so we rescheduled for in about 3 days. We have been having pretty intense texting conversations, her saying she really likes me and misses me, etc, but after the cancelled movie date, she sort of stopped. What’s up?

    • Tony D says

      It sounds like you’re a nice guy, a really nice guy. You are very available. Too available. You should follow my texting guidlines and instead of having intense conversations through your text, be slightly aloof. Use your texting to set up real life dates and build a small amount of comfort. If you text her too much and seem too eager it can come off as needy, which is bad. It sets off memories of her ex boyfriends that stalked her after they broke up, or went mental when she rejected them.

      Use text to set up a date, that’s it. Until after you have sex…then you can text all you want.

      The girl needs to earn that sort of attention, and the currency is her sex and affection.

      Women aren’t into overly available pushovers. So what she’s doing is being unavailable to see how you react. She might not even realize she is doing it. In her mind she is “busy.”

      She has nothing to worry about though because she knows, as soon as she texts you, no matter what you are doing, you will drop everything and pay attention to her.

      Would an Alpha male act like this?

      • Rick says

        Wow Tony, your right on about that. It just happened to me I was to nice and available to a girl and she stopped texting calling me back. Then I made it worst by getting all needy after she didn’t reply. After a leaving a message saying “please just let me know why your not calling me back?” Really screwed this up because I just got of a long 6 year relationship and was rusty. Anyways this just happened any advice on how to play this out. I really want to sleep with this girl!

      • jay says

        Tony you just discribed my situation , the girl im talking too seems to always be busy , so i just text her ,good morning and i hope she has a good day, and i get a response. then go about my day …. then at night i text her , good night … which in turn gets me a response as well … but we do go out and hang out tho ,we do like each other ,she makes plans of us hanging out in the further along in the future, but the thing is there been some ocasions where she said we are friends ,but she gets jealous when she sees me out with other girlsi met at the club ,(well in her denfense i do display them in front of her,lol )so ive been told by her sister …. what can should do from there ?

        • Tony D says

          Well man, wishing her a good day and a good night, is just like, something a friend would do. I never text girls I’m dating stuff like that. It’s too needy. It’s like, ewwww.

          You are making her jealous, this is good. Very good. Now if you want to date this girl, you have to be willing to walk away. You need to let her know you no longer wish to be her friend. You wish to be her lover. And if she isn’t into it, then you move on with your life and date those club sluts you’ve been parading in front of her.

          • jay says

            well actually that was my next step , to just not text her at all anymore, and wait till she texts me back and still not response right away , to wait like an hour or two have her wait for me to reply …. she knows im not trying to be her friend , its not like we havent kissed or messed around…..she just has walls up that are hard to get through… but i’ve been getting thru them slowly one at a time ….. she let know that she likes me and i let her know that i like her as well…. this girl has me confused …. stupid ex boyfriends that fuck it up for the rest of us lol ….

          • jay says

            well, anyways Tony im going to put your advice into work im not going to text her those things and just do my thing … if she wants something then she’ll come around if not then , i’ll hang out with the club sluts …. thank you for the advice and hearing me out i needed someones input in my situation…..

  14. john says

    Just met a woman on-line afew days ago. She then e-mailed me her number and asked if I texted. So we texted back and forth about 5 times then she just stopped. I am really not up to date on texting etiquite. Looking over the content of my texts I noticed that we lived close to each and I was talking about that. I’ve put off texting her back for now but I wonder if the “we live really close to each other” might spooked her. Thanks.

    • Tony D says

      It’s hard to say. If you send me a copy of the transcript we could analyze it and feature it on the blog.

  15. Michael says

    Ok, here is one…so after texting this girl (single mom), which works at a local restaurant, I get her to go out with me, we had a great time and spent the night together, etc. Now, after texting each other and talking on the phone for a week after our first date, I asked to see her again, however she had some little emergency with her kid that day and said she was unavailable, later that night she sent a text among the lines of “the baby is OK, I thought you might want to know”, so, my first reaction was that she might be digging…and I reply “nice to hear he is OK, thank you for letting me know”, and I don’t try to reach her for a week…neither did she, so I decided to text her four days ago….and no response…have texted her everyday and …no response. Now I am getting the guilt trip that I might have kissed her off with my “thank you for letting me know” reply…
    Any thoughts?

  16. xavier says

    Well Tony, maybe you could crack this one for me. I met this girl at my job. I was actually in the training academy of my job, while she had been employed there for 8 months. She approached me outside of the job and struck up a conversation with me,staring and smiling at me the whole while. We met up again at wrk after the academy concluded. She told me all the females at my job thought i was cute. I didnt care much for them because in my opinion she is sexiest of all of them. I then asked her out and she agreed but she couldnt make it that weekend because she was attending a passion party, but she said the next weekend was fine.
    My car died on me , so i could not see her as planned. When i saw her the following week, i told her what happened and finally got her number. She was happy that i had asked and gave it to me. She even told me she jus got her own place 10 minutes away from work. She did ask mE to keep it On the down low. She was even afraid to let our coworkers see us together at that moment. It made sense to me becauae She is hot She said “All these guys in here mite get jealous of me talking to a handsome guy like yourself.” She also said i may hear rumors of her that aren’t true(maybe you could shed light on this).
    I started texting her and she told me she was only free after work monday-friday. Our shift ends at 12 midnite which means she wanted to hang out at that time. So now when i text her she never replies. I even tried callin her and she didnt answer. When i saw her at work yesterday ,she apologized for missing my text. What do you think is going on? What should I do? I would greatly appreciate it.

    • Tony D says

      Right now you need to relax son.

      Good news: She’s feeling you.

      Bad news: You’re getting all worked up like a needy bitch.

      Just kidding.

      No. She approached you. You tried to make it happen. Now it’s back in her court. You need to stop texting immediately. Didn’t you read my article? :)

      The “rumors” part probably means she banged some guy (or a few) or at least went on a date or two. She probably broke some needy guys heart (ego) and he cried or bitched about it and called her a slut. Who knows, who cares. What she is saying is “If you’re patient and chill and don’t flap your mouth off, I’ll give you a freebie.”

      Be discreet. Don’t think this hottie will be your next girlfriend. Just be happy that you MIGHT get laid.

      Now go out tonight and approach five hot women. Wait for her to re-approach you. At least a week.

  17. alex says

    Tony met this girl online 2 months ago, we went on our 1st date went well and got a kiss, we kept on chatting met two weeks later went well we hugged and kissed, two day later we went out and had sex, the next day after we had sex and a few days later also, so two days later she went out with friends and texted me at 830pm i miss u etc, she text me every hour then at 1130 i got a good night text saying for me to think of her while sleeping i think she was still out, next am i texted her good morning and no responce as of yet , im thinking she is playing games now or found someone that night???

  18. Joe says

    ok so i met this girl on facebook, lives about one town over and just moved here from california. we talked for about an hour once(that was probably 2 weeks ago) and she really liked me, the next day i asked her if she was doing anything and gave her my number, then she gave me her number and said to text her. i had but no message back, then a few days later on facebook i messaged her, nothing back bout a week later called her, and again nothing. the fuck…

  19. Dan says

    Hey Tony, I met this girl a few months back through one of my female friends. I got along pretty well with her but saw her as only an opportunity for a casual hook up. i would talk with her and we would hang out but the last time i hung out with her was about a month ago. things were going pretty well but after hanging out for a few hours she told me that she had to go because she had already made plans with her friends for that night. she smiled at me and asked if i wanted to come with her to a party and i declined not being the type of person who is into the big parties she kissed me and told me to text her but i was kind of annoyed because the night ended so i didn’t. i recently have tried to text her only twice within the last month just simple things like “hey, hows it going?” or “wanna hang out some time?” and she hasn’t answered at all. things were never really serious but i have started to have feelings for her and would like to see her again. any thoughts???

    • Tony D says

      I think you’re texts “Hey how’s it going?” Are too weak. You should be more specific, like, “There’s this amazing xyz tonight at xyz, come with me.” That or just call her instead of texting. You already blew her off once, so you need to work a bit harder. Women will only give you a few chances.

      • Dan says

        YEAH i called her today and she answered right away. she came over and we toked some fine reefer and fucked

      • keith says

        Theres a girl ive known for about 16 years. We dated last year for around 4 months. Shortly after it ended(which was my fault) i ended up getting arrested and going to jail for 120 days. Since being released,and coming home,i reached out to her. We messaged back and forth, talked about everything. It was going great. We each said we still loved one another as well. Now when i message her, she doesnt respond. This happened out of nowhere. What can i do? What could i say to her?

        • Tony D says

          Call her on the phone and if she doesn’t answer, leave a message for her to call you back. In the meantime, go outside to a bar, or a mall, and get more phone numbers from new women.

  20. Ryan says

    Hey Tony, I’ve been talking/hanging out with this one girl that I met through my brother. She’s 18 im 21. I met her a little less than 2 years ago when my brother brought her over to my house with other friends. And I was a really shy guy back then. I looked at her, she looked at me and said kept saying “your so cute over and over every time I ran into her. All that I would say is “Thank you” with a smile on my face, and would find an excuse to get away form her because I was so shy lol. Since then I broke out of my shell. Back in early June of 2012 it was my brothers graduation and there so happens she saw me but I didn’t notice her. Through Facebook I got her number and we started texting. And I was being really friendly to her and then came the question from her “would you like a hook up or a relationship?” I asked her what do you want? And she replied ” a relationship.” I told her that I wasn’t sure due to the fact I was talking to 2 other females, well texting them lol. Then a week or two passes then I would get back In contact with her via Facebook/text because I thought she would be the one. and she started to come hangout with me at my house. I live with my mom, her bf,and brother. We would watch a movie downstairs til 1am because that’s when she has to be home by. A couple days after that I decided to move watching movies to my bedroom. 2 days after that I took the chance and made out with her. The next 2 nights we went all the way. I told her I never felt this way about anyone before and asked her to be my boyfriend over Facebook when she was online the next day, and quickly replied “Of course!” I was so happy. Then we started saying all these things whenever she was over at my place watching movies on my computer. we would have sex a few times after that. I visited her house to play a family game with her dad, his gf and her daughter and her bf. I didn’t say i was her bf because i didn’t know how her dad would react. then another 10 days passes by where she would come over and watch movies etc. Btw this girl that im talking about is actually the girl i lost my virginity to and she knows this. and on Monday July 9th after we made plans over txt for what to do that day early afternoon. I get off work at 6 then she txt me around 7:45pm and this is quote “Hey ryan, i hate to do this over txt but it seems to me were more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. When were together we barely talk. Your a great guy, but it seems to me that your more like the friend type.” i noticed she didn’t call mr baby like she always did and i replied saying that i am a quiet guy that’s just me, and told her that i really have feelings about her than just being friends. and she explained to me how she felt. but to me it made no sense because when we were together she told me that she felt special and loved being in my presence. Then she said we could still be friends and told me that she still wanted to hangout. Tony please help me, I havent seen her since the 9th of July I been playing the quiet game with her since no contact between either of us. I want to get her back more then anything in this world. Because why would someone invest that much time and energy if they ever cared? I sent her Whats up? no rely, then i send her a message from my heart. “Let’s hangout soon kate, I felt like talking with you about something in person. You didn’t make me mad when you decided to break up with me. I’m actually happy because you made me think about myself and what I need to do to be a better man. I hope you don’t ignore me like anyother girl… your very sweet and I’ll never think anything less of you. And would like to keep you as a great friend and you never know, maybe things could work out again. You’ll always have a special place in my heart and I honestly truthfully mean that :)” and still no reply, no sign that she will contact me, she only lives a neighborhood away also. she txt me that we rushed into the relationship to fast and that i was too quiet every time she was over. And she knows that i was a shy guy im not anymore just quiet. But in my opinion there’s no way that could be the reason that she wanted to break up with me. I mean she had sex with me and all. she also stated after I told her “I want to be more then friends with you” she said this ” well until then, can we just be friends and work our way back up the ladder?” I agreed. So that’s it Tony, Please help and give me advice. I really appreciate your time.

  21. Ash says

    Ok I meet this girl online, she’s 23 I’m 27, we exchanged numbers, I ask her out withing a day or 2 and she agrees! The intial texting was extremely slow both of us being cautious I think! A day or 2 before the date I suggested we speak in the phone and she agreed. It Lasts an hour or so got in great etc…..so the date happens (text chat still slow) we have a great time can’t keep each other hands to ourselves etc….I ended up going back to hers she’s adement that she isn’t going to sleep with me on the first date and it was tough for both of us because we where in bed etc…she held out to my surprise!! anyway next morning we did have sex and she said she doesn’t regret it we spent the morning togeather, shemakes me breakfast blah blah!! Following couple days texting slow again she’s still texting me morning, asking me questions im still trying to play it cool, hour or 2 between MSG the way I like it and she’s seems the same! So I ask her 3 days after we hooked up! ” so when do you fancy doing something again” she replies she’s working most the week and has UNI friends coming on the weekend and do something towards the beginning of next week! I reply no problem sounds good blah blah!
    This was 2 days ago and no response to my final text! I dont want to sound needy and double text etc…..??????

    Also she’s said she’s not looking for a relationship just have fun hook up drink! But when we were togeather there was great chemistry so I took that as tipical woman not showing her cards!! I’m all up for fun…..BUT still lack of texting is bothering me a little.

    Some advice T would be great thanks.

  22. Ben says

    I met this girl at work, she’s nice, good looking, physical atrributes i genereally go for. After a day or two flirting i give her my number, just spontaneously. About a week and a half passes ( noting we hadnt seen each other at work ) she text me, after a bit of flirting out of the blue, she asks, do you just want sex or a relationship! i replied thats a bit forward since we havent even had a date yet, she then directly asks you didnt my question, relationship or sex, i reply with im not sure, see how it goes. A few days pass and i text asking to meet up, she suggests that afternoon, it was short notice and suggest the next evening, she replies with im not having sex with on our first date why do we have to go on an evening! i reply calmly that it wasnt about sex and thats just when im free… a few more days pass i send another text just generic ‘hi, how are you?’ she replies with im sad that you havent texted me in a few days… she feels im playing a game, she says she’s wants to be romanced!
    we move on few more texts i ask how work was, she says shes tired, long day blah.. i reply with early night in then? she mistakes my reply with not free tonight how about tomorrow, i was straight and said thats not what i meant, but how about next weekend… her reply too the tee ‘pff then bye ben…u play games… ‘
    is she crazy? am i doing something wrong? I know this ship sailed and im not overly bothered but i want to know what to do next time this occurs

    • Tony D says

      Try calling her on the phone. The text communication isn’t working. Like I said in the article, use text to get a reply and set up a date, nothing more until after you have sex.

  23. anonymous says

    ok so this girl always answerd my texts for the first two weeks or so that i talked to her. she always seemed happy to talk to me and we had really good conversations. we even made indefinate plans to hang out after work one day. Before she went on a week long cruise she told me to text her when she gets home and that shed talk to me soon. the day she got home from the cruise i casually texted her saying hey! how was your trip!?. no response. Usually i dont care about this kind of thing but i am REALLY attracted to her. i just dont get it. should i text her back or just leave it alone?

    • Tony D says

      You can never tell what’s going on in an attractive woman’s life at any moment. They usually have very busy social calenders and they are usually having sex with someone. Don’t think of her lack of a reply to have anything to do with your level of attractiveness.

      Imagine you had two new girls a week texting you. Some were 7’s and some were 9’s. And then the random girl from a few weeks back starts messaging you.

      Not a priority.

      Either move on, or make yourself a priority.

  24. Pep says

    Hey Tony. So I met this chick last Monday due to a mutual friend, long story short we both hit it off and got talking then met again on Wednesday at Peter Piper (our mutual friend was from out of town and was leaving the next day) We talked, played air hockey and a couple other arcade games, and over all hung out some what outside from the rest of the group.all of us went to the drive ins afterwards where we laid next to each other and talked a little bit during the movie and at the end of the night she gave ME a hug and i asked her number saying we should hang out again sometime. she said okay and I texted her so she would have mine. about 2 days later I texted her just a simple hey whats up and she didn’t respond. I thought no biggie and waited about 3 more days before asking her (on facebook chat) about a previous job she had because i was thinking about applying there. Simple question of about what is the starting rate and do you need previous experience. its been 3 days and still no response and I know her phones working because shes been posting stuff to facebook from it. There was DEFINITE attraction but here’s the thing.Shes a vegetarian and i’m a hunter. I didnt tell her that, I think she found that out when I added her on Facebook. Do you think this is why she would just start ignoring me and also. if you do think so what should i say to her? If I respect her views she should respect mine and not just blow me off because of that. Id still like to be friends

    • Tony D says

      Man. You need to meet some more girls. You aren’t a mind reader and neither am I. My best suggestion is you wait it out, and then invite her to a public party, like, a club on a Friday night, and then start from scratch.

    • Kyle says

      dude, she hugged you. If there was attraction, you should have KISSED her. dont wait for her to make the move. She probably thinks youre a needy sap and has tossed you in the Friend Zone. This is tough love, but you need to grow a pair and get out of it. Tell her shortly and firmly, Look I had a fun time with you, lets hang out again Saturday. Most likely it’s too late. She will probably say sorry, i can’t saturday. Ignore her for a while. for a whiiiiile. like a week. then call her and ask how shes doing. She probly wont answer. leave her a message. but do not ask her out. then ignore her again. wait another week, if she hasnt texted you, your chances are slim, but you can then text her and just say “Meet up for a snowball?” or some random shit that seems not so serious. If she ignores that, you may want to give up if you havent by now. or you can call her again in a couple days and repeat. but by this point she may have a restraining order.

  25. Erik says


    I’m 19, and back home for a few weeks from college. I was getting a bite to eat w/ my parents and their friends, and this hot-ass girl came up to our table (she knew my parents’ friends). Long story short, I was brought up in a conversation, and my parents’ friends had mentioned to the girl that I though she was pretty. Her number: mine. Since then, we’ve been texting the past few days. I respond, but not often. When appropriate, I make her laugh, and when not, I carry a serious conversation. I sent her a message last night … no reply. I want to hang out w/ her before I go back to school (Yes, she’s a fucking dime), but not entirely sure how I should ask. Advice?

    • Tony D says

      Sometimes they don’t answer. Just go direct and offer her a meet location of your choice. “Hey let’s get some food at 7. Awesome place. Amazing.”

      If she doesn’t reply, do not text her. She will say “Ok!” or she will apologize for being busy, three days later.

  26. Kyle says

    Dude, Tony, thank you.

    I’ve been on somewhat of a dry streak recently, and a few girls aren’t answering right away anymore. I have a similar set of “rules” on my fridge at college and during the summer I kinda forgot to follow them. I was just outright pissed at the world 10 minutes ago staring at the wall like a pathetic sap. Then i googled why isn’t she texting me back. Jesus I’m pathetic. Which led me to your article. It was the exact pep talk I needed. I can’t believe you take the time to reply to all these things. But anyways, I wish I would have read this three years ago (im 22) before I had to figure it out the same way I’m sure you did.

    Thanks again for the refresher. I feel like a man again lol

      • Jonathan says

        So I hooked up with this chick I knew in high school and we had a four day sex fest!! We talk a lot and stuff but she just told me that she didn’t wanna lose me again but wants to take it slow!!? Wtf does that mean

  27. Jack says

    Ok, so this girl I’ve been taking to on and off for a while called the other day and straight up said “go on a date with me.”

    I had started texting her again recently, like 2-3 weeks ago, just telling her random corny jokes because she would not answer literally anything else. She wasn’t interested. (I know why waste your time – She’s retardedly good looking. My friends say the same thing until i show them her picture)

    So I’m texting her and finally get bored and decide i don’t feel like trying anymore, no matter how hot, she’s just not worth it. I ask her this joke I made up and didn’t even know a logical answer to, and then refused to tell her for a little. Since she’s used to getting what she wants, she was like, no tell me. I was tired of her barely responding to my jokes at that point, (all she did was say hahaha at the funny ones) so i said the answer was “my dick”. She, just as expected said Bye. I laughed and said hah you don’t get it.. she said nope. i just said lol and the conversation ended.

    3-4 days go by, I’m not thinking about her at all, and she randomly calls me, and says tell me the answer to the joke. I was caught off guard, and just kinda messed with her, eventually told her that I made it up. and she said oh well i have to go.

    I again was fine letting her go.

    A couple days later she calls me, again I’m caught off guard. I say hey hows it going, and she says, and i freaking quote, “Go on a date with me.” … “what?” (this girl has hardly ever shown an interest in me and now that I ignore her she asks me out, Go figure) she says it again, and I say, alright… she says when, and I pick Friday, she says shes busy.. Saturday? Actually my friend is having a barbecue Saturday, you could come with me to that. She says “No. I don’t want to go to your friends lame barbecue. Besides you can’t show me off yet.” I was like hah alright well just text me and we’ll figure it out. And she says, hah no, you text me.

    So I text her 2 days later, tell there’s an an Orioles game Saturday at 7, it’ll be fun. , to which she replies no. I waited a while and said alright.. how about dinner in Baltimore. (last night) to which she hasn’t responded yet.

    Side note: In the past she used to like hate me, I apparently stood her up, she came down to my college with friends for a basketball game and I told her i might be going or maybe said i would be, but then had a change of plans, and told her once she was down here already.

    So, questions:
    WTF is going on?
    Is she just screwing with me and is going to stand me up so she can feel even with me?
    Did she just want me to keep giving her attention and text her more?
    Or is she actually going on a date with me Saturday?

    Honestly I don’t really care that much, other than the fact that I wanna know what in the hell she is thinking. Any opinions would be greatly appreciated, and thank you for reading this entire book.

  28. MarkEMark says

    Tony D, I have been talking to this girl for about a month and a half. We text, I got the occasional drunk dial. We hung out, barbeque’s, bar hopped and just chilled with friends. We haven’t had sex, but we kissed alot and we slept together once and when I moved in for the kill she said thats as far as she wanted to take it that night and I said cool. We texted after, but then all of a sudden she stopped texting me completely. I only texted her twice saying hey, whats up and havent got a reply in 2 weeks. I have a few girls I hook up with from time to time, and I’m by no means desperate, but this situation has got me completely fustrated. I don’t have feelings for her, but I refuse to give up on this broad b/c men conquer worlds. What to you think?

  29. David says


    I met a girl at a festival that my band was performing at…I’ve seen her around before and she caught my attention. In between sets, I introduced myself and with only having about 20 minutes before I went back on stage, I explained that I didn’t have much time to chat, but it would be nice if she contacted me so we could get together sometime soon. I gave her my number and then the next night she texted me. We exchanged a few texts that evening and into the next day. Everything was going great until I mentioned about getting together for lunch that afternoon or within the next few days. She stopped replying after that. Kinda felt that was strange since she seemed to have interest, after all, she initiated contact through text. So, I decided to give her a call the next day and try that route instead, besides, it’s more personable anyway. I got her voicemail and left a message that it was me and for her to give me a call back when she has a chance. No call back or texts from her end. I haven’t tried to contact her since (don’t want to overpursue or appear needy) and it’s been a week now. What went wrong? Should I try contacting her again or not bother? Thanks!

  30. rick says

    hey Tony, good advice, its the way i would normally handle things with girls i am just meeting. My question is about this girl that I’ve known for about two years. We worked together for a while and she always knew i liked her and flirted and stuff. We hung out some on and off, either the gym, my house, hiking, just friendly stuff. but she always played hard to get which i think she knew i liked. She always teased me about other girls and stuff so i think she knows i can talk to other people. Anyway after a while we start hooking up for a little, just as a friendly thing, and i started to like her more and i think she knew it. So things just kind of stopped between us and it was pretty sad because i liked her a lot for her personality more than anything. I rarely feel this way toward people. Anyway she started seeing this sorta older dude (like 23, I’m 20) for like 6 months and we rarely talked or hung out, and there were a couple times she texted me to hang out when she was drunk and just didn’t respond.. Soo, she stops seeing this dude and hits me up all “Hey stranger” blah blah we need to hang out howv you been miss you blah blah. So me being me, I’m totally all glad to talk to her again and try to hang out. So we play basketball and go to the gym again. And then she hits me up to drink wine, so we do and hook up again. i was really happy and started texting her to hang out again, but things never work out and its been a little over a month. either she hits me up or bails, or i hit her up and she bails, and she tries apologizing for it in person and stuff. anyways when i hang out with her i think i feel something but its hard to hang out with her. She knows i really like her so maybe I’m just too easy or not fun for her or something.. Im not sure but whenever i stop talking to her she reels me bak in and then ignores me again. Maybe she just has a desire to be desired. Its just hard helping how i feel and to stop pursuing her. She tells me sex means more to her and its personal and stuff but then she blows me off or stops hanging out? I don’t know if i should ask her directly whats up or if that would be weird and make things worse… all i can do is keep trying to hang out i guess. she makes me feel special when we do hang out and puts all these fun ideas in my head of like going places or doing things but never backs them up.. sometimes when we hang out, she teases me for “loving her”. i just feel like she knows I’m there and i like her and she keeps me around to satisfy her ego. which sucks and i don’t want to admit it.

  31. Xavier says

    Tony there is this girl I like her name is Nhi and she stopped texting me. I had her in a class last year and towards the last month of school, we shared glances towards each other and smiled and soon I would say hey or hello and she would say hey to. Then one day I was playing dominoes with some friends and she came to us and almost the whole time each time I looked up she was smiling at me. Wasn’t sure if that’s a sign or something. Cuz one of my friends says she’s a slut but she lOoks nothing like one, (plus the one who told me that says stupid stuff and I’m not sure to believe it and I don’t want to.) anyways a couple days ago I sent her a message on facebook, I said hey and she replied with a “Hey!!”. Then she asked me how is football but I never told her that ( she knows cuz we dress up be4 game day) does that mean she is interested cuz she remembered I play football? So now after we talked that time she has sent at least 4 messages. Is she trying to avoid me or should wait like u say? U really know what your saying man I appreciate your help if you can help me.

    • Tony D says

      Dude. I don’t understand what the problem is. You said she’s been texting you, (at least 4 messages.)

      Ask her to hang out. And who cares what your friend thinks, it’s your weiner, not theirs.

  32. Xavier says

    And her last text was ” sorry I’ve been busy”
    I said its cool. Is it really cool tony?
    Btw sorry for adding I forgot to add this the first time

  33. Tommy says

    Tony, I’m dying here. I met this 21 year old (I’m 28) thru mutual friends at a bar. I wasn’t even spitting too much game but she insisted we exchange numbers. We have alot in common. We texted 2 weekends later when we were out and about but didn’t link up. A few more weeks went by, we texted back and forth sparingly. We saw each other with mutual friends again, and we talked a bit. A week later I Facebook messaged her asking her out. She never replied.

    2 weeks ago I saw her out at night and we were cool, I didn’t even mention it. We flirted some more, made crazy eye contact, everyone was saying we were talking alone a lot.

    Now it gets bad. After seeing her that night 2 weeks ago i realized i totally liked her. I texted her that Sunday to say hi and if she wanted to get dinner during the week. She never replied. I called her later that week, she didn’t pickup. This morning I texted her saying hi and still nothing. Haven’t heard back from her in over 2 weeks. I want to just call her but I’m feeling borderline skeevy. Help a brother out!!

    • Tony D says

      Sounds like she’s not interested. Even though she’s attracted, something is keeping her from moving things forward with you. I wish I had a magic answer for you. You could do like The Great Gatsby and build an empire selling hash, just to impress her, or you could move on with your life.

    • Fred says

      Tommy, looks like both times you made a connection with her there were alcohol involved, maybe shes a Little shy/isecure when sober and also a dinner can be too heavy at first, why not try and ask her to go have a few drinks at a bar, play pool or whatever, just no pressure on her whatsoever, only fun. Dinner and candles might be way to much pressure if you dont know her that well.

  34. Jamie says

    Damn I hate girl problems. There’s a girl I like at the moment and I make her laugh quite often. I sometimes send random funny times to her over facebook, and she brings it up when we meet in person and laughs about it. She seems to like me, somewhat, but recently I asked if she wanted to hang out before the end of the holidays. I didn’t make it sound creepy or anything, and facebook told me she saw the message, but she hasn’t replied for a few days now. Do I just wait for ages, or should I just keep trying with her? (she’s definately worth it). It doesn’t help that some other girl keeps texting me, trying to get in my pants when I don’t see her as a girlfriend! Please help me out!

  35. Marney says

    Hey Tony,

    Man, your article was an eye-opener for me. I’m going thru a divorce, having been married over ten years. I married my first and only girlfriend without ever experiencing anything like this. Needless to say, I did not wear the pants in my marriage, which made me unhappy and likely ultimately led to the divorce.

    Anyway, my soon-to-be ex wife and I have agreed to see other people instead of waiting for our divorce to finalize. She found someone right away, which took me a couple of months to get used to, and they hit it off right away.

    Recently, I met someone online and after exchanging several messages she gave me her number. After texting for a couple of days, I called her and we talked for 3 hours. She seems to really like me and even mentions sometimes how she wishes I was there with her (she lives 30 mins. away).

    I work nights at the moment and she had said she was going to come visit me at work last week (I work alone). Well she never showed up, and did not answer my texts that night. Right before I got off work, she texted me saying she was sorry she had fallen asleep and asked if I wanted to have dinner the next night. I was busy that day and told her I couldn’t, but we have agreed to hang out this Saturday, tho not set on where or what time as I’m not familiar with her city and she said it would be easier if I could come to her.

    I’ve noticed for the past several days she takes a long time to answer my texts. Once she said she would call me back, but never did (again, she said she fell asleep…mind you we both have kids and other responsibilities and can only talk late at night). Then last night she said thru text she would call me when the show she was watching was over. We were texting about the show, but that stopped when it was over and she never called. Today we texted for a bit, but when I asked her what there was to do in her city she never answerred

    • Tony D says

      It sounds like you are “Too nice.” If a girl repeatedly flakes on you, you don’t become nicer. You freeze her out for several days, a week if necessary. And then when she contacts you, you don’t reply for twenty four hours. Then be like, “Oh I was busy. How are you?” She needs to work for you now. If she doesn’t contact you, go for a meetup one last time. Not a phone conversation, an in person meetup.

  36. Marney says

    Dammitt, accidentally hit publish too soon. Lol Anyway, its been about 15 hours since I’ve heard from her. Thats the longest stretch of time between communication from either of us since we started talking. I realize thats not a long time, but her failure to respond to texts or return calls is concerning. She still indicates she’s very interested when she does text, but am I doing too much? Going too fast? And I always texted her before I would call to see if she was busy…or awake. If she didnt answer, I didnt call.

    As I said, I’m pretty much a newb at this, and am learning on the fly. Should I wait until she texts me? Or how long should I wait before I call or text her?

    Your article has already taught me alot. I just want to confirm what I’m thinking I should do.


  37. Xavier says

    Tony she isn’t messaging back she. It says she saw it but never texts back. Should I just move on? I’m the guy above ^

  38. brennen says

    hey tony great article.

    im going through my own issues here maybe you can help…i just got out of a relationship not to long ago and when it ended an old girlfriend texted me asking if i was ok or whatever i said yeah. we then decided to go for coffee and catch up later that night we went out for 4 hours hours around the city coffee then went for a drive walked around the lake just had a great time. she said she still thinks about me from time to time i said that i had thought about her too while we were apart we havent dated for close to 5 years but stayed friends in the meantime. she seemed very flirty and interested. i asked if she wanted to hang out again the next weekend and she said yeah just text me. the next day she texts me in the morning saying what a great time she said last night and it was real good to see you with a smiley face. we talked most of the day and the next day. i didnt text for a few days but then friday i texted her asking if she still wanted to hang out this weekend and she said “i would love to”.
    So i said ok when works for you? she didnt reply so i left it alone till the next day and i asked are you free tomorrow she replied maybe im not sure yet. what did you have in mind? i said supper or drinks i didnt really have a plan what did you have in mind? and she never got back to me so its the next day now and still nothing. should i wait it out or should i ask if we are still hanging out ? any advice would be greatly appreciated.


  39. Cherv says

    Some interesting tidbit of information. Here’s what happened to me last Saturday and I’d like to take on the whole experience Tony:

    Me and a group of friends get into a bar in SF and the entire group implodes upon arrival: one third of the group is at one end of the bar; the other third is waiting to get into the bathroom to do some blow; and the last group is doing God knows what.

    I go take wizz, powder up my nose a bit, and then post myself at the end of the bar to get a Jack on the rocks. Might as well make the most of it since I’ve lost my entire group.

    Now at the end of the bar — that little area where you can get behind the bar by flipping some board — there was this old, creepy Mexican guy was standing there; he didn’t speak a lick of English yet he was constantly talking to this really cute blonde girl whom I thought was enamored by his conversational skills.

    Being curious, bored, high, and drunk, I find a spot next to her and realize that this guy is just harassing the crap out of her. I ask her what this guy’s deal is and she says she has no clue. She tells me: “Fuck, what can I do to make that loser leave?” I respond: “Well, we could always make him jealous. We’re both attractive individuals.” At this time, she turns around, smiles and says: “What? Like making out?” At this point, a passionate 10-second make-out session erupts out of fucking nowhere and after getting the fattest boner of my life, I pull my lips off her and we let things cool down a bit.

    The creepy Mexican guy is still saying stuff like “Amore, blah blah” and now he’s winking at *ME.* Doesn’t get creepier than that. But I liked the fact that we were making him jealous as shit.

    At this point, the girl has her leg on my knee and I’m rubbing it for a few minutes (careful not to bring my hand too high) and then *BOOM* I get cock-blocked by one of my buddies: “Hey bro, we gotta go RIGHT NOW! Dan’s drunk as fuck and we’re all going to take a cab back.” I shoot back: “I’m kinda busy right now. I can handle myself. I’ll catch up with you guys.” For me, that was the cue as to whether or not she wanted me to stay with her. She simply responded: “I think you should go with them. The bartender is my roommate and I know all the bouncers; this guy won’t be giving me any trouble.”

    I ask for her a good luck kiss before leaving to which she agrees. I french kiss the shit out of her while whispering some corny French in her ear (I forgot to mention that I’m French and I am fluent in it; it’s an amazing ice-breaker) and right before I left, she grabs my shoulder and says: “You’re not even going to ask for my number?” I take out my phone, hand it over to her and she shoots back: “I’m a lady… I don’t enter phone numbers. The proper etiquette is that you enter it.” At that moment, I almost said fuck it and didn’t take her number but I decided to take it anyways.

    Fast forward to the next day where I’m hungover as fuck (still kind of drunk) and send her text simply saying: “when do i get to see you again? if ever” Her response: “Who is this ?” Me: “The french guy you met at the bar last night, .” She still hasn’t responded and it’s been almost 2 days.

    This tells me two things:

    1. She was just as drunk as I was and she was being the typical tease. No reason to pursue her. My window of opportunity shut itself on me.

    2. She’s playing the “waiting game” which I highly doubt.

    My approach to this: I’m going to try to call her this Friday. Fuck texting. If she truly wants to see me again she’ll make an effort to pick up the phone. If she doesn’t, oh well, that’s one dick she’ll be sorry she missed out on.

    Thanks for your input on this Tony and let me know if I should even bother with this girl.

  40. Adam says

    Hey tony I was at a party where i saw this girl who ive met one time before. I started talking to her and we really hit it off. She started flirting with me and made me dance with her and kissed me. So later that night she fell asleep in my arms and i carried her to her moms car where she went home. The next morning i got her number from her mom and asked her how she was doing. She never replied. So iam really confused because she seemed so into me. What should i do?

  41. Jay says

    Here’s my situation…… Met this smoking hot girl at a bar. Talked to her briefly, gave her my number, and made out with her that night. She texts me the next day. We agree to hang out a few days later. First date is awesome. More makeout session, great chemistry – don’t really have time to escalate further due to work (i.e. bring her home). Go out on a date a week later – again it’s pretty amazing. Obviously make out and things are going very well. I have to bail again that night due to work.

    The following weekend I call her in the evening to meet up. We’re both kinda drunk. I invite her back to my place. She says something like “guys always ask me to come home with them, I was happy that you didn’t so far”. I find this to be weird, but she comes over anyways. She mentions “but we can’t have sex”. I basically said “that’s ok”. We end up in bed, half naked, but didn’t go all the way – partially due to her “rule” and partially because it was probably 5AM and we were wasted.

    I text her about 5 days later and she says “she might be busy with blah blah blah”, which is fine. A couple days later I text “what’s your schedule looking like”. Then….Radio Silence. Nothing. I obviously have not responded since it’s in her court – but it’s very strange to me. Basically moving on, but not sure where I F’d up?

  42. JAMES says


    Subject: Is She “so-so”?

    There is a girl that I met through work. One day, I texted her, along with other co-workers (they give us a call list to use so that we can have others cover our shifts) and asked if she could take my shift. Now, I wasn’t 100% sure it was her, but at the time I didn’t care as I really wanted someone to take my shift. However, she replied two days later and said she couldn’t take my shift. Now, here is where it gets interesting…

    That day, I ACCIDENTALLY texted her something along the lines of “I hope your morning is going well”; I meant that to another girl. In fact, I was going to apologize and tell her that I didn’t mean it for her. But I just said, “whatever”, and let it be. So, she texts back and tells me how her morning went and so on and so forth, and then we get into who we are. Anyway…

    She remembered me and we began a series of long text messages back and fourth, just getting to know each other more. Now, I want to note that she has a pattern of sometimes going a couple days without replying. Furthermore, we finally hung out (this was after over a month of texting each other) last Saturday. We met up at an ice cream shop right before her shift that afternoon and spent maybe 20 minutes chatting. It was nice; we laughed and got to know a bit more about each other. But here are the few points that leave me in “doubt” in regards to her interest level…

    1. When I attempted to take the tab for our ice cream, she literally went out of her way to pay for it; she even requested to the cashier to make our orders separate (after I already told the cashier our order was together.

    2. I caught her looking around during the initial few minutes of our hangout. It stopped once we got to talking, but I’ve always known that to be an IOD. So just something to note.

    3. On the trip from our cars, all the way back to them, she walked ahead of me. This is something that I would generally consider as a way of her keeping distance. However, I did get a hug at the end.

    4. In the last text I sent her following the date, I told her I had a great time and commented on my observation of her one dimple that I didn’t notice before: “for the record, I think it’s cute that you only have ONE dimple :).” She replied later that night with “I wish I could say the same jk ;)” she also said ” and you didn’t come into work today! :(”

    The comment about work was because as we were getting into our cars she told me I should come in (we work at a retail store). I told her that I might come in to get my bro something. But as you know, I didn’t. This is because I kinda took that as a “sh*t test” and I wasn’t about to drive ALL the way back out that way (unless I was going to take my bro shopping that day, which I contemplated) just for a few more minutes of face time. Anyway…

    I replied by telling her that I was “stumped” with reading and subsequently asked her how work went. Which brings me to today; she finally replied to me and apologize for the late text, along with the usual “things got crazy” followed by asking how my reading went. keep in mind, this was two days after our first hangout “date”. Now, I was and still might be getting to like her. But the days to reply thing (this actually peaked in the days leading up to our ice cream date) is killing the momentum for me. And unlike the “me” of a year ago, I wouldn’t regret ceasing communication with her as this is a peeve of mine. And I’ve seen the LJBF/not really interested thing before and I favor just “getting out before” before allowing the inevitable come into fruition.

    What do you think? Is she “so-so”?

  43. MIke K says

    I have a situation that I’m wondering about. I was looking for a fwb and found one in a 20 yo cutie, I’m 35 btw. Things went very well for a week, we hooked up 3 times and the sex was great. Then things seemed to get cold on her end. She was sick for a week and then we both had plans for the holiday labor day weekend. We still maintained contact through text but I could tell something was off and on weekends she fell off the face of the earth but would maintain fairly regular contact during the week. What I noticed was that she stopped asking to come over and hang out, and I never had to ask her except once after I noticed she stopped asking me. Her reply was that she was still getting over her illness and didn’t want to get me sick. I tended to believe her because she was always real with me and wasn’t a flake.

    So 3-4 days later I decided to just ask her outright what the deal was and that was when she said that there was someone else in her life and she was undecided as to what she should do, stay with him or move on and continue hooking up with me. I said ok no biggy just let me know if you ever want to hang and if I’m still available I’d definitely be game to get together. There was no response but the next day she text me in the late afternoon and asked if I wanted to “cuddle”? I thought about it for a moment and figured what the hell so I said yes. She came over that night and thats exactly what we did just cuddle. I guess I didn’t mind that much because she is cool and I did manage to get more out of her as to her situation. She said that she had a bf and the reason they became estranged was because he worked alot and was never available. So I asked if she was still with him and she said no but that she broke up with him after she hooked up with me. Shes kind of a tough nut to crack and isn’t very vocal about how she feels so getting that much out of her was an accomplishment.

    The next day I text her and thanked her for coming over and hanging with me and the I enjoyed her company. She replied and I was welcome and she too enjoying spending time with me, and that was that. 3-4 days went by without any contact from her and I decided to text her one morning just to say good morning. I jokingly nicknamed her princess and she nicknamed me sunshine so I said “good morning princess” and she replied “good morning sunshine”. That was almost a week ago and I haven’t heard from her since and haven’t bothered to contact her since either.

    I’ve been around the block a few times and I’m not about to get hung up on a 20 year old inexperienced girl. I’m totally prepared to walk away from her but I would like to get some thoughts about what her deal is. I have a few ideas and am wondering if this is something worth trying one last time or just chalking it up as a loss and moving on.

  44. Dave says

    I bumped into this girl who i knew of back in high school but we never realIy hung out or talked, anyway so i got her number and i called her the following week and talked to her but didnt ask her out. then i called her twice more after but both phone calls were short because she said she was busy doing things. So at that point I thought she was not interested at all, then a few days later I got this text ” sorry for being so short on the phone with you when you called, but I have been really busy.i will message you if and when my schedule frees u. Have a good one”. So is she interested or she’s just being friendly? What should I do?

  45. Dave says

    I bumped into this girl who i knew of back in high school but we never realIy hung out or talked, anyway so i got her number and i called her the following week and talked to her but didnt ask her out. then i called her twice more after but both phone calls were short because she said she was busy doing things. So at that point I thought she was not interested at all, then a few days later I got this text ” sorry for being so short on the phone with you when you called, but I have been really busy.i will message you if and when my schedule frees u. Have a good one”. So is she interested or she’s just being friendly? What should I do now?

    • Tony D says

      It sounds like she is not interested at the moment. It’s up to you to pursue it any further. Sometimes persistence pays off. Sometimes it just annoys women. Like I said, up to you.

  46. Alex says

    Thanks for the advice Tony.
    I got a bit of a similar situation really. I met a lot of girls and gone through countless nightstands, then decided to give online dating a go. Anyway, this random chick accepted my request and turns out she’s like my dream girl, banging body, smart, and she’s into same stuff as me. We broke the ice texted each other for like 4 days and she made some comments like “been thinking about you last night” and “you are so cute”, then I suggested we do a Skype date and all of a sudden she’s not texting back. What’s weird is that I can see she’s been online after that and i guarantee that she’s seen my message, and now its 2nd day she’s not texting back. Is there anything I can do apart from waiting? Couse I kinda like her and what becomes of us. Besides, I’m not that keen to go back to nightstands, becuase they are getting too repetitive and fake. Thanks in advance

  47. Kevin says

    Tony D, sounds like you have things figured out, so let me ask you for some advice. I’ve been seeing this girl for about 3-4 weeks now, everything has been going smooth. Steady text/phone conversations, seeing each other 3-4 times each week, everything’s going well. We’re both single parents, and are kids get along, which is even more convenient. Well, we sealed the deal last weekend, so to speak, after a date without our kids on a Saturday night, then again the following Sunday morning. Fast forward to last night, and after a date, I tried to “seal the deal” again, which got me no where. I thought I was golden as we’d already been there, but she said she had to go home, and I tried to persuade her to stay. After thinking about the situation for a bit, I called her this morning and apologized thinking I was being too pushy the night before, and that I got the feeling that she thought all I was interested in her for was the sex, which isn’t the case, and I told her that. She told me it was all good, but all day today I’ve been getting the silent treatment. She hasn’t been responding to texts, phone calls, etc. I’m trying not to appear to her as desperate, even though I really do like her and care about her.

    So what do you think? Did I screw up trying to assume sex was going to happen last night, and is she upset with me for it? She made the comment that we should be able to hang out for the sake of hanging out, and that we needed to “behave” ourselves. I honestly feel like I’m rushing things, but with the way we’ve clicked so far, and at the rate the relationship is going, I don’t want to risk losing her because I was thinking with the wrong head. It’s tough for us single dads, and for me personally, it seems like when I’m interested in someone, I get too deep too soon. Any advice you give me is appreciated.

  48. Maximus says

    Hi all

    I’m in contact with an ex of mine. The reasons for the breakup were private and had nothing to do with loss of attraction.
    We spoke on facebook and i suggested we should meet up again and have dinner or something and she agreed. I promised to let her know. After which i didn’t for 2 months (stupid, i know). Now i contacted her again through sms and called her the same day. We spoke a little and i reminded her of our agreement. She said: yeah i promised you and i had been waiting for you to contact me. So we decided to meet up but since she is a nurse, she is not always available in the weekends. So she said: send me 3 dates and i’ll have a look at my schedule. I ended the conversation after 15 mins by saying that i still had to work on a presentation.
    Well, I sent her 3 dates and haven’t heard from her since. More than 24 hours ago. Guess she’s not interested. There’s a big difference between what women say and what they want.
    There must a way though to get her interested. Any ideas guys?

  49. says

    Im from fort lauderdale I went up to FSU for the weekend..I met this girl at FSU shes a freshmen who lives in west palm beach.. danced wit her kissed..than we have been texting for like 3 weeks intensely wit smiley faces haha w/e.. she comes down drove an hour to pick her up take her out..than she goes back up to FSU 5 days later she stopped texting me..wats the problem here..I think she might be in her period maybe or too many guys.

  50. Maximus says

    Hmmm, sounds to me that you have been too available or something. 3 weeks of texting…that’s a lot. I think it’s better to keep your texting low profile. That way she gets confused and wants to know what’s going on.

  51. Maximus says

    Well, after 5 days, I texted her and she replies: didn’t you get my text (I’m abroad quite often)? I’m not available on any of the 3 dates you suggested but maybe we could meet up on a sunday. To which I reply: sure, how about 21 october? She replies: I’ll have to check my schedule. I’m in a meeting right now. I’ll get back to you when I’m home. Never heard from her ever since (been 3 days now). Sent her a text this afternoon: then it’s set for the 21st? Again, no reply.

    AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE? Because obviously I can’t think straight anymore.

  52. Maximus says

    Well, as I was typing this she replied: I’m so sorry but I left my cell phone at home. I just returned from work. I can’t make it the 21st but how about the 28th?
    Great, now I’m in control. Let’s see…I’ll just say I might have something else to do but not sure yet and I’ll get back to her. Perhaps wait 3 days and then say ok.

    Waddayethink guys?

    • says

      she left her cell phone home for 3 days..thats really strange situation, yea i would wait a couple of days..girls are very weird you never know what shes thinking..i think that she is hesitating a little

      • Maximus says

        30 mins after the first i got another: are you sleeping?
        Of course i didn’t respond. Obviously she’s worried i might be mad.
        I’ll send something along the lines of: now I’ll have to punish you haha

        • Maximus says

          And another one: did you get my texts?

          My fingers are really starting to itch right now but I won’t send. She’s starting to get anxious so it seems. Almost looks like an AFC lol

  53. Maximus says

    Tony, what do you do in the weeks before a date? Do you have any topic on this? I was thinking about texting her but still wondering what….

    • Tony D says

      Two weeks is a long time. I wouldn’t get your hopes up. I don’t mean that in a mean way. It’s just a long time and women have short memories. She could touch a lot of penis in the two weeks you spend worrying about what to text her.

  54. Jose says

    I met this girl in front of the bar while she was smoking and than we stared talking and then she had to leave because she work in the bar so she said to me I really want to continue our conversation but I have to go is their was we could communicate I said sure she said can I get you number and then we exchange number and then she said to me you really have nice personality and she went back to work then two days later I text her saying what’s up. She reply to ohh going to work am ganna start at 5pm am text you later and then she texted me at 4pm saying I just got out and the I text her about 6hoirs later when I got saying good morning she never got back to me it’s Ben 2days and she haven’t got back to me what should I do she I text her back or call her or just leave her along ?

  55. Maximus says

    I’ve had sex with this girl last night. We’re really into each other. I used to send her teasing texts but as wondering if you still do that after sex? Or can you be more open about your feelings?

  56. Unsecure says

    hey tony, I’ve gotten to know a girl who goes to the same school. We sms each other perhaps for the first time and I never ask her out, she asked me twice but I could not as busy. then so when I wrote to her again, she quit suddenly stop responding. I ignore it. We talk in school, she still seemed interested even though she did not respond. So Suddenly she calls me on the weekend and was wondering if me and my friends want to hang out with her that day, but I could not, and wrote it so she quit responding again. Then I met her at a party. Before the party had a mutual friend talked to her friends about me and her friend had said that X did not think she could get me. At the party, she seemed uninterested but after I had nowhere to sleep so I went to her house with my friend and her friends and she obviously. The stop that we slept in the same bed talking and had nice. But we did not have sex for both of the two of us are virgins. In the morning she wakes me and asks if I know what her phone is, I answer no. She goes out of serum and talking with her mother. Then when I wake up again a little later she had gat away and sunbathing solarium. I’ll call her two days later, no answer send a message to her phone and thank you for letting me sleep there and say that i bid agian for that. She is not responding that. I think that i have started to get feelings for this gurl and i realy wannt to date her agian. What should i do Tony? Sory for my bad english.

    • Tony D says

      Dude. Don’t get needy on that girl. She thinks you have options and that you’re out of her league? Good! Use that. But at the same time, she isn’t responding? Wtf? Sounds like she’s retarded. Maybe she fell on her head. If she isn’t replying or answering, who knows? I’m not a mind reader. Are you? Make her fucking reply. Say, “Hey. Fucking reply.” Or move on.

  57. says

    Hey Tony, So I met this girl on a dating site, she is older than me which doesn’t bother me much. She asked me to go out friday so I agreed, she made plans for dinner and reservations, we went out, went well. I gave it a day and she sent me a messege on the dating site, I gave it 1 hour then she sent me a text saying “I guess I could of just asked u in a text” She said “Are u free next weekend” I said “That should work” I made dinner plans at my place and a movie, she replied “Monday works for me”. Thing is i hate texting. I’m better in person. I texted her, we sent 3 text’s back and forth, then I said “good luck getting your work done this week” and she ended the text. Question is how long to wait? I wasn’t planning on texting her untill she text me. Wondering if the weekend is still on?

  58. Tim says


    I met this girl 2 weeks ago at a mutual friends birthday.we ended up making out in the club and she invited me to her party the following week.

    I didn’t think much of it because we were drunk but the next time I saw her she said she was mad because I didn’t ask for her number

    Again we made out and went back to her place but her friend was staying over so she said we couldn’t do anything. We ended up dry humping and the next day set a date for the following week.

    I drunk texted her some needy stuff the next night while I was out but she responded well. The next night she text me wishing I was with her.

    Then when I text her a few days later to arranget he date she was cold, (turned out it was because she thought I was getting someone else to text for me, im quite different in person )

    Anyway we meet up for dinner all goes well, back to her place and clothes start comming off. Still in her underware she stops me going further and says its time to sleep. Throughout the night we dry hump a few times but she always stops me when I touch her pussy.i assume ashes on her period or something.

    2 days later I text and and she replies once then just stops. Its now been 3 days with no contact and met who sent the last message.

    I feel I may have started to act to needy around her, so I’m not sure if I should text again to try and arrange another meet or just leave it.

  59. Josh says

    Tony! Long story short this girl I was always crazy for put me in the friend zone. I was stuck there for a while (a good 7 months) till I decided to just date another girl, and change myself entirely and cut most contact.

    Me and the new girl dated for almost 2 years but broke up 3 months ago. Me and the girl I was originally crazy for began talking again, and she can tell I am not the same old me. I got better looking (not to sound cocky) I became more “alpha male” and learned a lot from my relationship with my ex.

    To avoid being friend-zoned again, I am not talking to her nearly as much. Short texts etc etc(thanks to your 3 tips!). We went on a date and it ended up really good…we only hugged though, I was about to go for the kiss (I’m confident, I didn’t just wuss out) and she got out of the car just as I was about to cause it was cold out and she was late getting home so she rushed on out. Probably should of made my move earlier in the night…anyways…

    SO, that was Monday night. It’s friday now. I texted her thursday while we were talking for a second date. She said she had to go to the doctor for all these tests today (something somwhat serious, not too bad though) and I said “I think you should let me take you to longs park sometime soon before it gets too cold out! Never know the fresh air or something could help! ;P”. She never replied.

    She uploaded a pic to instagram a few hours ago, so I know she has her phone…so why do you think she’s ignoring me? Is it cause she doesn’t want to go on a second date, or I come off too sudden with a second date? I don’t want to fuck up this time. No more friend zone.

    After the first date she did say on facebook “I got the best friends a girl could ask for (:” at first I was sad that I was being friend-zoned again, but we did meet up with a bunch of people when we went out unexpectedly (lots of my friends were there!…friends to us both. talk about small world) so I think it’s safe to say I’m in the clear and it was in regards to the night overall. Not me. She did stick by my side the whole time even though everyone else was there.

    Whatcha think Tony? Should I wait 2-3 days and call to ask again but more straight forward? Or just wait till however long it takes for her to respond? The first date she had to bail last minute on me, but then rescheduled and actually came up with the idea, so she did take initiative after bailing the first time. Not sure if that means I should just sit around and wait as opposed to calling 2-3 days later…and yes, I’ll be sure to be a lot more touchy and actually kiss on the second date. Just hard to get really physical when it was a group of us towards the middle instead of just us 2…
    Sorry for wall of text, want to make sure you get the fully story and understand man!

  60. Marty says

    Hey Tony,

    I kissed a girl that approached me on a party, and then I had to take her home because she got totally drunk afterwards and leave her with her roomate.

    But we work at the same company, although not directly together, so we saw each other and she was smiling so I contacted her and asked her out. And then through company email (because I had no other contact) I wanted to set up a precise date, and I sent her my phone number and asked for hers that we could reach each other on weekend. But she replied she might go on a trip at the proposed hour and that in any case SHE has my phone number and she would let me know.
    I just replied I agree then to let me know.
    And that’s it. Now I assume she’s playing some game on me or testing me, and that I already got into the needy position because I agreed to this.

    After reading some stuff here, I decided to wait and do my stuff and actually go out without her, and if she messages, then say I’m busy going out somewhere.
    Do you think it’s right?

    I don’t wanna end up as a nice boy that follows her orders and be rejected because of it.

    • Tony D says

      I’m sorry man, but in my experience, if she says, “I’ll call you,” this usually means she isn’t interested. Best to move on. Either that or be very, very aggressive like that guy in the Notebook.

      • Marty says

        Actually, she really did message me, and we had setup a date to see a movie, too bad she cancelled it one hour before with excuses and proposal to meet some other day this week.
        Then I met her again at work by chance, and asked her directly if she has time, and she said yes, and suggested later in the week, and I added that I don’t want to force her, and she replied that I’m not and that it’s ok.
        Well, I’m not convinced she really wants to go, waiting 2 weeks for a date seems too much for me. She probably isn’t attracted anymore, and since there is no opportunity to do something about if we don’t even meet, then it’s a waste of energy.
        I might ask her one single time and wait for the weekend, and if she doesn’t make an effort to meet then I will not pursue her.

  61. Luke says

    Hi Tony,

    Great information on this site. I’ll be quick with my story/request for advice. I met a young girl (20) early this year. We hit it off immediately mainly because of my age (27) and atypical charm from the guys that normally hit on her. I become too clingy and “over-text” this girl, she stops talking to me for 5 months. We start talking again and she ends up getting a job where I work. She visits me daily, rediscovers my charm and novelty and we start to hang out again. We have sex but it is totally nervous for me because I’ve never had to work so hard for a girl in my life (chemistry was minimal because she had nothing to offer; I did all the work. Was definitely thinking with my penis, she is extraordinarily hot). Sex is good but I get to the point of oneitis and her ability to make plans to see me are very limited and she’s always “busy” with no explaination. If this girl is continuing to have sex with me (rarely), is she really just busy or am I just another one of the multiple guys she fucks?

  62. Jon says

    Tony, I’m an Asian guy and I was interested in this girl from Peru. We met at the bus stop in our college and sometime we made eye contact. She seems like she’s interest in me because sometime I saw she turned around to see if I was looking at her, plus she told her friend about me so her friend did the same thing. The other day I decided to be brave and went talk to her. The conversation went pretty well, she doesn’t has a phone so I couldn’t get her number, but she gave me her name so I can look her up on Facebook. She accepted me the day later and I was happy about it. On the weekend, I sent her a message said “Hi, this is the stranger on the bus, hope you remember me. I want to invite you to the dance party at blah blah studio on November blah blah. If you want to come you can bring a couple of your friends as well. So please let me know and I’ll talk to you soon :)”

    Do you think I said something that…just not right or randomly? I’m pretty confuse about the American dating culture so I’m not really sure what am I doing. I tried to compliment her on her picture that she’s pretty or her hair looks nice. I also posted on her Facebook asked that if she has class on the coming Wednesday. Do you think I’m doing too much? Should I just let it go for a while? I feel like an idiot and ashamed. I don’t know what I do wrong. What should I be doing if she doesn’t responds forever?

  63. Kamar says

    Hey Tony,

    I’ve met this girl on a social network site. I’m 20 and she’s 17. She currently lives in my country but i’m away for school at the moment. We’ve only known each other for 3 days. However i’m always the one to confront her and start the conversation and at times i think she turns off her phone before going to bed as she told me one time she sometimes turn off her phone. As of last night i sent her a message, she woke up and didn’t even reply. Everytime she takes so long to reply and i just feel as if im coming on as clingy to her.Is this she playing ‘hard to get’ or is she simply not interested. I’ve come up with a solution to just not talk to her for awhile and try and get her to speak more. Would this help and also do you think she’s interested in me.

    • Tony D says

      If you’re not making plans to meet her in real life, you are wasting your emotional energy. The fact that you had to Google “Why isn’t she texting me back” means you are putting too much effort into something that may never be realized anyway. Go out. Go to parties. Meet more girls in your own school.

  64. M says

    Hey Tony,

    I was on a bus the other day and I chatted up this girl. She was really cute and we were clicking. So after we got to our destination I asked for her number and said I would give her mine and maybe we could grab some coffee or something. So I got her number and waited a few days and sent her a text asking her if she wanted to get some coffee or something. Still no response, any suggestions? I was also kinda nervous when I asked for her number…hopefully I didn’t freak her out.


    • Tony D says

      First mistake…you care. This girl has sexual abundance. You don’t and you act like it.

      “Wanna grab a coffee or something?” Boooooring. It sounds like the logical choice, but women are not as excited by logic as we are. “Wanna hunt killer whales with me? Wait…do you have a spear? No, seriously, let’s discuss this over a low fat, frapanofatta Americanachino, tomorrow at eight. If you flake, I will kill your kitten.”

      You care that you freaked her out? Freak the bitch out. She wants to be freaked out. If she is a freaked out weirdo…fuck her. Find a normal, sane girl.

      Be more abundant.

  65. Shane says

    Hey, Tony,

    So I have quite the dilemma and I’m not sure what to make of it. Let me start of by saying that only until recently, I had been unemployed for the better part of two years, so going out and feeling confident about meeting people was incredibly difficult. Luckily, I got a job in May and in September, my brother and I went out to a bar at the start of the college football season. Toward the end of the night, I spotted a gorgeous girl and her friend whom we had seen the week before but weren’t able to talk to. So I introduced myself to the girl and she led with a line (she thought I looked French). So we talked and found out we had a lot in common (she even said that), and she let slip that I’m her type. When it was time to get her number, she grabbed my phone from me, put in her full name and digits, and said “you’re not gonna text me.” We gave each other a big, intimate hug and I promised her I would contact her.

    The next day, we became facebook friends and I texted her back “Hey, it’s the French guy from last night.” She texted me back the next day and we started talking about stuff we like to do, etc. I asked if we could get together that weekend but she was busy with family stuff. The next week, she wanted to do a group thing at a bar, but when Saturday came, her friends couldn’t come out with her, so she decided to let me and my friends have a guys’ night. So we kept texting and flirting a little, and she then asked if my brother and I wanted to join her and her friend at Octoberfest the following weekend, which would’ve been great, but the event was three hours away and we couldn’t give up that much time on our Saturday. She said that was fine, we’ll do something else. A couple days later, she texts “Are you really interested in me or do you normally text strangers?” It puzzled me because I figured texting her every day and asking to see her was pretty clear. So, I got back to her late that day, “Of course I’m interested haha. We should do something together so we’re not strangers anymore.” She said “I agree” the next day and we continued texting.

    Finally, six weeks after I had gotten her number, we matched up schedules and I suggested we do the group thing again. She agreed and told me she was excited. My brother and I met up with her and her friends that night and we all talked as a group. She kept bumping into guy friends she knew (she even knew the bartender, who kept giving her free drinks, making it difficult to buy her one), but we eventually separated from the group and picked up talking where we left off, totally interested in each other. After an hour, she went to check on her friends in the bathroom and then came back out, annoyed that one of her friends thought it was just going to be a girls’ night and that they wanted to do something just the three of them. I said that its okay and we agreed to meet for coffee the next day. We then embraced twice (long hugs, lots of back rubbing) and I gave her a long kiss on the cheek.

    The next day, she texted me that she wasn’t feeling well from the night before and needed to stay in. I said fine and asked her if she had time the next day. I didn’t hear back from her until Monday when she sent me a Happy Birthday text. That Tuesday, I texted her that I was free the next night and we should go for coffee again. Nothing. The weekend went by, and I tried calling her after her class. Nothing. So later that night, I texted her desperately, “So…are you not talking to me anymore. I really like you and I want to get to know you better. Call me so we can talk. :)” Yeah, I know, a little whiny and needy. But I heard back from her minutes later: “Sorry, I’ve been busy studying. But I’m actually back together with my ex boyfriend. I’m sorry. :/”

    Shocked, I texted her back, paraphrasing: “That really hurts. I thought there was a lot of potential there to start something. I think you’re making a mistake. I hope there is still a chance for us sometime in the future. Please don’t be a stranger and message me anytime. Take care.” I didn’t hear back naturally, and tried to let it go. But that weekend, out with my brother, there she was with her boyfriend. We saw each other, smiled and waved like everything was good.

    Here’s where it gets tricky. A few days later, she deletes a facebook birthday post for her boyfriend and the next day, when at her girlfriends, she posts essentially that boyfriends are no good. I let a couple weeks pass, then the Friday after Thanksgiving, I texted her a Happy Birthday message and she responded back “Thank you!!!” So, the next Wednesday, I decided to leave her a voice message asking her if I could buy her a late birthday drink. Now, I know she might be the type who doesn’t check her messages and only texts, but I waited anyway. Nothing. With some advice from my sister and female friends, I let five days pass and then I texted her simply, “How have you been?”

    So far, it’s been a day and I haven’t heard back. Now, there were a few times when we were texting when I wouldn’t hear from her for a couple days (until a week passed, which I knew was too long). Right now, she is gearing up for finals and the holidays are coming up, so I know she will be busy. I’m hoping I can at least open up a dialogue with her again. I know she needs time, but it’s hard for me to gauge if she’ll eventually get back to me, if I was just some guy she liked in between her boyfriend, or if my responses showed too much interest and now I’m just another guy who’s pining for her. So I don’t know what to think. Did I just get lumped in the “all guys are dogs” category by default? Is it foolish for me to think there was anything there to begin with and that maybe I’ll hear from her eventually?

      • Shane says

        Thanks for the comment. I needed to hear that. After a long period of job failure, meeting her was a rush of emotions for me, which came crashing down when things didn’t go as planned. But I’m learning a lot from this site and I appreciate you being real.

    • Sam says

      Shane i read your story, you had symptoms of Attraction decay, you have to be quick, i think you waited toooooo long, you have to be quick, lesson learned move on to the next one.

  66. notmyrealname says

    Alright tony, this is like a teenager question, everyone here is in their 20’s so I don’t know if you”d be able to help me. I’m 16 and I like this girl, like a lot I guess but I’m in the LJBF zone, I originally started out just wanting to be friends but then I started developing feelings for her and she doesn’t know this at all and I know that she’s definately not into me… Yet (; I haven’t tried flirting or anything because she’ll just think is creepy, its like a best friend type relationship between us, I’ve known her for like 3 years and we hang out a bit and I text her a little bit but nothing beyond that. I texted her last week (its tuesday today) no reply, texted over the weekend, no reply, and I don’t wanna seem clingy or anything so I just stop, were “just friends” anyway. So the main reason I’m asking is how should I approach this, like get out of the LJBF zone without being creepy, this girl is pretty proper and uptight. We talk at school and everything and its all good.

  67. Max says

    I need some help. There is this girl that I really am attracted to. I got her number, but I have never had a face to face conversation with her. I attend a University(freshman) in her town and she goes to the local High School(Junior). We met at a Track meet where she congratulated me on doing well in my event. She gave me the best feeling and no girl ever came up to me after my races. Anyways I have always had my eye out for her and I finally found out who she was. It was just coincidence that I go to the University where she goes to School. I found her on facebook and messaged her. I told her about remember when she congratulated me and eventually got her number. We text very little. I can see that she reads my messages and she has told me that I am cute. Texting doesn’t seem to be going bad. She often just drops the conversation. I texted her this morning saying “Hey:)” and she read it, but no reply. This happened last time and we didn’t talk for weeks. I have tried getting a date arranged but it seems like she avoids the conversation….

  68. some guy says

    Hey Tony there is this girl that i knew from school and i saw her after a few years and i had a crush on her since school. So i found her online and started talking with her but didnt want to be in LJBF category so asked her number and she asked why i wanted it do you think she doesnt want to talk with me. How can i still get her number

  69. Sam says

    Hey, so I text this girl at my school, we used to text a lot and we stopped for like2 months. We finally text a little now but she like never responds. What should I do to make her talk to me again?

  70. john says

    Hi, I know this girl a little bit through friends for a few years, Im 25 and shes 22. We always get along when we meet each other at different events and I met her again out the other night. We hung out and talked a lot. I really like her, I think shes easy to talk to, laid back, very beautiful, and normal and easy going.
    The problem is though after I see her I feel like “wow I really want this to go somewhere” but when I message her she just doesnt respond or if she does its really one word kind of things and then just stops altogether. This happened last year when I met her out but I gave up on it because I didnt want to tell her I liked her in one or 2 messages. Especially the fact she didnt want to keep the conversation going. I dont get it though because when I have met her out she seems very flirty and I fall for her. I need advice on what to do. Should I just straight up ask her out for coffee or something? What if she doesn’t respond again? I feel she might think Im needy and not worth it but im not, I just dont get why shes so hot and cold. But I do really like her, personality wise and her looks. And would love to take her out and see where things could go. I dont understand her attitude though when I message her after seeing her again. It the same as it was a year ago.

  71. T says

    So there’s this girl. We’ve known eachother for quite some time, but since I became single and I hadn’t seen her for some time I ran my game on her and we made out rather quickly. We’ve met once more after with pretty much the same outcome; thing is, usually I get wall of texts when we do text, but then suddenly she just stops. Can you explain this?

  72. Erin says

    I know you mean well, Tony, but I don’t think telling guys to text a girl every three days or so is a wise choice. But that is just my opinion. If a guy were to text me every few days and I don’t respond whatsoever, I would be annoyed and so pissed! If i’m not interested then that means I’M NOT INTERESTED NOW GO AWAY! I’m kind of going through that issue now. I met a guy who had great personality and he was good looking, but after only three days of knowing him, I realized he was one of those guys who just can’t take a hint and buzz off. It’s been about three months since I last talked to him and he STILL texts me. I never reply. Omg, he is so irritating! Like just STFU already damn. Guys, please, do not continue to be a major pest if a girl never responds. Do not text her if she is clearly not going to reply. It’s never going to happen, so move on. Stop being creepy and desperate.

  73. Erin says

    I know you mean well, Tony, but I don’t think telling guys to text a girl every three days or so is a wise choice. But that is just my opinion. If a guy were to text me every few days and I don’t respond whatsoever, I would be annoyed and so pissed! If i’m not interested then that means I’M NOT INTERESTED NOW GO AWAY! I’m kind of going through that issue now. I met a guy who had great personality and he was good looking, but after only three days of knowing him, I realized he was one of those guys who just can’t take a hint and buzz off. It’s been about three months since I last talked to him and he STILL texts me. I never reply. Omg, he is so irritating! Like just STFU already damn. Guys, please, do not continue to be a major pest if a girl never responds. Do not text her if she is clearly not going to reply. It’s never going to happen, so move on. Stop being creepy and desperate.

  74. Cole says

    Hey Tony I’ve got an interesting situation and some help would be appreciated. I’ve known this girl for over a year (throuh a sport, we don’t go to school together) and this year I quit to focus on other things. On the last day that I went, she showed some signs that she was interested in me, and other people saw it too and were messing with me about it. At the time, I wasn’t really interested in her, so I didn’t pay as much attention as I would have liked to now looking back on it. It’s been a few months since I’ve seen her, and we used to text a lot, but recently she seems to always cut off the conversation early on. She usually gets back to me a day later with some excuse but it has been happening a lot lately so it gets kind of annoying. We also had talked about hanging out (she seemed pretty eager) but we haven’t gone into details. I don’t really know if I should continue to go after her or wait for her to text me first to show that she still cares. Please help me figure out what to do! Thanks in advance!

    • Tony D says

      Can you blame her? You ignored and dissed her for over a year and now that she’s gone, all the sudden you’re interested. She’s probably already over you in her mind. If you want her, you’re going to have to man the fuck up and tell her straight. “Hey, I’m into you. Let’s hang out.”

      • Cole says

        Sorry didn’t mean to post twice, it didn’t go through the first time. I didn’t ignore her for a year, she just showed interest in late November and the texting problems came up last week. Sorry for the confusion man.

  75. Cole says

    Hey Tony I have an interesting situation and some help would be appreciated I’ve known this girl for over a year (through a sport, we don’t go to school together) and this year I quit to focus on some other things. On the last day I went, she showed some signs that she was interested in me, and some other people saw it too and were messing with me about it. At the time, I wasn’t really interested in her, so I didn’t pay as much attention as I would have liked to (now looking back on it). It’s been a few months since I’ve seen her, and we used to text a lot, but recently she seems to always cut off our conversations early on. She usually gets back to me a day later with some excuse (but it’s been happening a lot and it’s getting really annoying!). We also had talked about hanging out (she seemed pretty eager) but we haven’t gone into details. I don’t really know if I should continue to go after her or wait for her to text me first to show that she still has interest. Please hep me figure out what to do! Thanks in advance.

  76. Liam says

    I have recently been going to the gym with this girl as a “partner” with her.
    We don’t really know eachother at all really and was only friends on facebook due to someone hacking into my account (I didn’t know her or fancy her at all).
    Then I got interested in her… after a while I messaged her a cheap comment when it was her birthday just a simple “happy birthday, have a good’un” and she seemed really impressed that I said that because her reply was “that’s sweet of you, thanks so much.. ” .
    A couple of weeks later I bumped into her down a high street, we both messaged eachother instantly and said we saw eachother. We got talking and she mentioned about the gym, which I also happen to go to, so I offered to be her partner which she accepted.
    I got her mobile number after this, started chit chatting as you do.
    We met up a fair bit in the beginning, we went out for something to eat, she’s come over for coffee and so on. After the “honeymoon” period has now passed it’s sort of died down a little, she’s “busy” a lot, the texting is a little more awkward than it was and it’s always me textng her first.
    I normally text her one day, leave it a day then speak a little again, just to make myself not needy at all, not sure whether it’s working though. We are supposed to be going out for a meal somewhen, but that’s all gone quiet as well.

    1. She’s playing hard to get?
    2. She’s obviously a bit busy at the minute?
    3. She’s taking things a little slow as she is a quiet girl?!
    4. Not interested?

    • Tony D says

      Shit man, you got me. I teach guys how to get many women, not one. Go out tonight or go to a busy street today and meet more girls.

  77. Jonathan says

    Hey Tony, need some insight.
    Basically, reconnected with a girl I met two years ago in school. I’m 19, she’s 17. And crazy hot. Anyways, two years ago we met through a friend, and as she already had a bf at the time, I didn’t make a move. I helped her with her bf at the time, even warning her that he was a player! Turns out I was right, and after summer holidays, she texts me saying I was right. I try not to rub it in her face, and am nice(which I now regret). I tell her to move one, go out with someone else. She said she used to like me, and I reply “same”. As I was quite shy back then, I fuck up, and we end up not talking. Now at New Year’s Day she texts me saying Happy New Year, and how we should meet up. She hints a pub. We go there, get drunk, talk shitloads about our exes(recently broke up with another so-called “playa”), etc.HOWEVER don’t even kiss, as her father was waiting on the other side of the street (sneaky little fucker). We hug and she almost instantly texts me on the way home, saying how fucking amazing I am. I reply TELLING her we’re meeting up next weekend, and she tells me to choose a pub. Throughout the weekend we text, and she texts me saying she might be able to go out on Saturday,as she finishes work around 8. I say cool, let’s do it. She said the only problem is her father’s given her a curfew, and she’ll see. I, trying to be nice, say “tell your dad I’ll take you home”. She replies saying how I’m such a hottie, and says she’ll check when she gets home. I reply sayin “Cool, let me know”. It’s been two days, and she quit replying cold turkey, especially since we were texting this whole past week. I realise I’ve partially fucked up because of how nice I’m being, but is there a way of fixing it? I really wanna fuck her. Is she waiting for me to ask if she can go or not, as she’s smokin’ hot and wants to see how eager I am? I’ve decided to not text her until she texts me, since the ball was on her court after my last text. What do you think I can do about this? Am I doomed for friendzone?

  78. Johnny says

    Whattup Tony? There was this girl that I met awhile back and after a few messages, I asked her to hang out and we did. The first time when we hung out, it went well. After awhile, we started texting each other and I texted her once a day, everyday. After the 2nd time I asked her to hang out, she told me she didn’t want to lead me on but she ended up kept flirting with me. I don’t get that. I didn’t think of it much and, I kept talking to her thinking that I could change her mind. Things started slowing down after awhile and I asked her to hang out like twice but she never gave me a direct response whether she wants or not. If I did anything wrong, let me know. I haven’t spoken to her in 3 weeks and I’m thinking about texting her again.

    • Mike says

      I know I’m not Tony, but the answer is simple, there’s someone else. Move on and save yourself some dignity. Don’t be her fool.

  79. Matt says

    Hey Tony i met this girl yesterday at a party. We made out and yeah we had some oral sex too. She gave me her number and i dropped her home. I texted her this morning but i haven’t got a reply, but in the morning she also accepted my friend request, what do you think went wrong ?
    Thanks In advance bro !

  80. Anthony says

    Damn, u like some texting doctor.lol. I hope you get this. Alrite, so there is this hot chick at school and all. I started talking to her and later SHE asked Me for my number. Well I was already attracted to her and so I was happy that she asked for the number. I told her i liked her after some texts, she said she likes me back. I dont know what happened but after some weeks she stopped texting me back or replying my texts.. Whenever we at shool, i c her on her phone meaning she has seen my texts and all… She says hi to me, she hugs me at school and erything but then,.. idk.. Y she not texting me back.

  81. Patrick says

    What’s up Tony?..Just got back in the game from a relationship. No luck so far and ready to put it in cruise and let them come to me…got this girl’s number the other day…asked her out in person the next day.. she said text me…proceeded to text the next day..no reply till later that night..phone problems was the response…then I proceed to ask again..no reply..wait or move on to the next?

    Keep in mind this was a 7.5 to 8, perfect ass.

    Im thinking I’m caring to much and need to wait.

  82. Nick says

    I act pretty much the way you are recommending but hearing (well reading) it reaffirmed is always good.

    Thanks man :)

  83. Arib says

    Hey Tony!!
    so I know this girl who works in a store near my university..
    she used to give me a beautiful sign every time I walked and we used to talk for a little time..
    next day I asked her if she wants to hangout after work..then I got her number..i texted her that night..she never replied..i texted her the other day she never replied back again..
    I called her the next day..no response..
    then I went to her store she was all fine and then out of curiosity I asked her hey you never replied me back..she was like sorry im not interested..
    I don’t understand one thing why the fuck she said yes when I asked her out and y would she give her number when she was never interested.. ?? any helpp

  84. johnny says

    Tony, i have been chatting with this girl online now for the past few days. I sent her a message yesterday just asking what kind of music shes into an i got a reply that said i would like your num tho… so im confused as to why she said that an not answerd my ?.. so i gave it to her an still havnt heard from her. its only been 24 hrs tho… Im just wondering if its just another game! the text before all of this was hey boo! so idk whats going on! Let me know what you think?

  85. Dunk says

    basically i was texting this girl and it seemed fine and like she was into me then she just seemed to get really bored with talking to me and we had made plans to go out this Saturday and she wont text me much i get facebook replys when shes on and ill get a few texts every now and then anyway i doubt shes gonna hang out with me Saturday so if she doesn’t im gonna do some bong rips and go find another female to date

  86. Dunk says

    long story short i was talking to this girl, she seemed to be interesting so i asked her to see a movie with me and she said she would this Saturday and she doesn’t text me much, i didn’t say anything weird just asked her when she wanted to see the movie and if she wanted to go to the mall afterwards and you know just trying to find out what im in for and now she hasn’t texted me in like a day or two but we talk on facebook which is fine but my plan if she blows me off is to take some bong rips and find a new chick any other advice?

  87. Ryan says

    So me and this girl been talking for about a week she told me she likes me and i told her i felt the same and we were talking alot through facebook and i hung out with her she had a great time and everything was fine yesterday but then today she doesnt respond and ik she sees the pms because it says on facebook when someone reads it.

  88. Erin says

    I posted a comment about one month ago, but i’m deciding I need to post again because you guys are obviously not “getting it” . When a woman doesn’t respond to your calls or texts, it is safe to say she isn’t playing hard to get, she just isn’t interested anymore or even at all. Don’t be a freaking pest! That is just pathetic and bordering on psychotic, needy and desperate. What is wrong with you guys? ! The person who wrote this blog doesn’t even know what he’s talking about. Texting a girl every three days, no matter what, is just ridiculous. Do you guys not have lives? Stop it, just stop. Remove your head from your ass.

  89. Sam says

    Here is my story, one hot girl contacted me on my POF account she said she was interested to know me, we ended up exchanging phone number and texting all day (day 1), after the tenth text or so she was like lets meet up tonight for a drink or something, we ended up meeting the same day(day1 saturday night) we had a great time we were laughing all night we kissed she was all over me, we almost had sex at the place lol, she was telling me how good of a kisser, and how sexy i was, but here the crazy story begins. i wanted to go home with her but she was like,”i like you a lot (exact words) i want to have a relationship with you blah blah blah”, the next day(day 2 sunday SB 49ers vs Ravens) i texted her good morning we exchanged couple text messages, after, i did not hear from her at all (today is tuesday) can anybody tell me what’s going on here

  90. Rick says

    Hi Tony. Im in a bit of a pickle here. So far, I’ve read a lot of stuff and yours seem to somehow connect best.

    I’ve had this crush on my blockmate in college since first year, then second year came and I’ve had a chance to get to know her. I’ve enjoyed every moment of it but most of the time, I came out scared to ask her out and always backed out.

    We’ve had this near-boyfriend-but-not-really-close sort of thing going, at one point, she even asked me about my lovelife (single since birth here since I came from an all boy school in highschool) and if I liked anyone in class (she even gave names on who she thinks I like). I stuttered and answered every question leaving behind the parts where I wish she was my first and stuff.

    We continued being near-boyfriend-but-not-really-close for a year (now we’re in third year) having on-off times where either of us would just chicken out of talking to each other. We had times where I’d chat with her til 5am when we have classes at 7 (for projects cuz I chicken out and not have anything to keep a chat going), go to her house a few times, then to her room (for projects, not some bed-time cuz she’s conservative and stuff and we dont talk badass stuff), share a meal together while doing a project, and go on malltrips after our community service classes back then.

    So now, I think my chickening out just knocked me off not just a chance to be more than near-boyfriend-but-not-really-close, but also as her friend. She removed me on facebook, blocked me on twitter and barely answer any texts. At one point, I got to ask her why she removed me from facebook (via text) but all she said was she forgot. Now, the last I communicated with her was through text to fix her laptop (I was her techie and helper on project / she was my laptop-lender since I dont have one and we need one) and she doesnt reply anymore. We were supposed to meet yesterday and she didnt even text where, and she didnt answer my texts.

    Im lost here. Sorry for the wall of text Tony, I need advice, perhaps lots of it. I dont think I’d want to lose her, she’s been my lone crush for 3 years if that means anything. Thank you.

  91. Ananymous says

    Hey Tony, so there is this girl I like and I won’t go into the full story because that would take forever. Basically she came on to me and apparently has “always had a crush on me” and she kissed me and stuff. which was cool because I’ve always liked her. some things were kinda complicated but at this point I’ve been playing it cool basically making it so if she wants to talk to me she can, but I’m not going to pursue her. So it worked. Last night she text me so i txt her back. After maybe three or four txts each she never replied to my last one. Looking at it now I realize it was kinda stupid what i said. But only very little. Nothing creepy or anything like that at all. I’m stretching to say it was dumb but I can see the possibility haha. Anyways she never replied after that. Now, my phone sometimes doesn’t send a mesage it says it did so I’m thinking maybe she never got it and is wondering the same thing I am “why didn’t he reply to me.” So my question is should I txt her and how long should I wait to txt her. Because maybe she’s just being a girl and being weird or maybe she just never got my message.

    • Tony D says

      Women are crazy. They aren’t decisive like men. You are texting her, and she finds it a very entertaining distraction from her boring life. Try calling her.

  92. Justin says

    hey man i got a question for ya…been hanging out with this girl for over a month- we hangout when we could.get dinner, movies, coffee all that basic crap. we would text randomly each day cuz she has school and work and i have school. i would mostly iniatiate the conversations by asking “how her day was” or to “have a good day” which then we’d end up having full on conversations. She’d even call me evry now and then. her friend even told my buddy that she really likes hanging out with me. So saturday night she came over and had dinner and she ended up spending the night (you know the rest)…she left the next day with a hug and i gave her a kiss (idk if that was wierd lol). she texted me later that day and we talked a bit then nothing. i called her monday to see if she was free to do something, she said she was busy but text her later. i did and it took forever for her to respond then she gave me some bs about not feeling that great….i let it go, texted her the following night and she responded after a bit. then a few days later i texted her to have a good day (which i know you dont like, but its workd everytime before) and got nothing…so the next night i called her and left a basic a message and she didnt respond. I want to text her, but i know i should get over it. i just want to get your idea of what couldve gone south in literally like less than a week.

    • Tony D says

      I have no idea bro. Sounds like she’s blowing you off. The fact that you are here, googling this, means you care too much. I would say stop all communication with her. No texting at all, no Facebook, until she contacts you.

      • Mike says

        Hey Tony. I like this girl and we have gotten together a couple times. At every-time she usually likes to stick with me a lot and when we go out with friends she is always somewhere near me. We talk the most, laugh the most and sometimes we touch every now and then with Some Tension is in the air.

        Problem is i recently texted her if she would like to come to my place for dinner, then she suddenly doesn’t respond. Its actually been happening very frequently lately, she either 1. we have like a 3-5 text back and forth then she just abruptly quits texting with no explanation. 2. Never replies.

        Its kind of bugging me, what could it mean?

  93. Mike says

    Hey, so i asked out my coworker today and she said she had plans with her friends but she said i was welcome to join them. So was she interested or that was her way of rejecting me?

  94. Anton says

    Hey Tony,
    First of all thanks,
    I was just wonderinf though i like this girl, well more like interested in her.
    She first wants to get to know me through texting… Ok i guess…
    But she always a lot of time to reply to a simple text! Look most of the time i am chilled, but like its frustrating i just dunno man what it means, she blowing me off or she just has something else to do. Look i understande she has school and all but like it doesnt take long to reply to a text.
    Anyways, i always giving up after she sarts like not wanting to hang or if she takes a long time to reply to a text.
    Anyways thanks for this i’ll take in everything you said.

  95. Dre says

    Hey Tony man I just started talking to this girl Amber, complete dimepiece, gorgeous, and perfect. We went a whole first day talking, but that night I dont know if she fell asleep but she never replied to my last text that night. I texted her the morning after and she hasnt replied for a day. Should I just say fuck it, or should I wait a few more days and text her again?

    • Tony D says

      Holy shit did you even read my article. Go out, meet more girls and chill out. Perfect my ass. No woman is perfect. Your thinking like a beta male.

  96. Scott says

    Hey man, I asked this girl out and she said good night and I said good night and then the next day she didn’t acknowledge me at all and stopped following me on my social media account(s). She hasn’t texted me back since. I don’t know what happened or if she went on her period or what. How do I get her to acknowledge me ( minus what you said in the article)

  97. says

    Mr Tony,

    You are the best and I so much enjoy reading your blog plus I’ve learnt a lot and I’m still gonna learn more. Sir, there is this girl I just met via facebook. She added me on fb, and after some minutes upon accepting her request, I message her and she did replied and it seems we are good. She then ask me to call her but I couldn’t and I let her know. She then pleaded with me to text her. I agreed but did not until later in the night. She didn’t text back, so I called. She claim, she couldn’t here me and me too can’t. I called a couple of times and got like I don’t want to be like I’m a clingy person. That will be a wrong impression. Tony, pls I like her but she hasn’t text, call or facebook me and I don’t literally know what to do. Pls come to my aid o. Thanks brother…..x

  98. Tom says

    So…met this girl online (moved to a new city, don’t have people to chill with to meet girls). So we talk last week online, hit it off, exchange numbers etc..we go for dinner two days ago. It goes great (though at the end her friend finishes work, and stops for a glass of wine but leaves afterwards). End of the night I walk her to her door and she asks “So are we going to do this again?” and I then kiss her and say “absolutely” (smooth Tom, smooth). While I was driving back home, she text me saying she had a really good night and texts me a pic of the single rose by her bed that I gave her (I’m not a sucker to give a bouquet and the rose was a fiery orange, not red).

    Now the following day…we text in the morning like we have the past week, talk a lil, and then I asked “How’s your friend doing?” (because her friend and her work together, close friends); also, shows the crap of being vested in her “friends” (bullshit; but it matters to a woman I suppose). She jokes saying saying she’s hasn’t talk to her yet, but she’ll see when she gets to work. Then she adds in “I think you made a good impression!”. “Fuck.My.Life” is what popped into my head after this because obviously now her friends opinin means something to her, but they haven’t talked….and she didn’t respond the rest of the day after that (yeah, “coincidence”?). So I knew she was done work at 3 (didn’t text rest of the day) and I tell her to have fun at volleyball and hope it doesn’t rain. I get a response three hours later (usually it’s like within 10 minutes every time) saying looks like it won’t rain, fingers cross, just about to play and then says hope you had a good day!. Ok, cool, so everything is good right? She wakes up 6am for work, so I assumed yesterday she was going to goto sleep early or she was out after volleyball and got plastered which probably means she is hungover to shit right now. However, I did text after the volleyball message (knowing she wouldn’t read it any time soon) and then when I noticed no response, I said “headin to bed, have a goodnight!” (we have been saying morning and night for the past week). I wake up this morning, no reply at all.

    Am I looking into this shit WAY too deep? Could the friend have caused the delay in texts or was she really busy? A week is a small sample size, but yesterday afternoon, and after the evening message to this morning is off. I haven’t text her today (no good morning, etc) and know she is started her second job for 5/6 this evening. Should I CALL her around 330/4 today not asking how her day was, but set up something for the weekend or should I just talk and try to see if anything if wrong/off with hearing her voice? It’s just very wierd to not get a message from her this morning.

    A huge point; when we started talking last week online and exchanged numbers, she said she didn’t receive any texts from me over a course of two days once I messaged her on the online website saying “Guess a no-go on talking on the phone?”. She says it was her phone. So…should I just not even /insert what you suggest and wait till tomorrow to message her saying something like “I think your phone is messed again?”. Or call since shit, that should work and we’ve already gone out?

    Time sensitive so hoping for a response today so I can go back to the “not a single fuck was given today” mindset. Thanks.

    • Tony D says

      Dude. Not to be harsh, but wtf is with this stream of consciousness/neediness text essay?

      I use text for two reasons.

      To get her to reply

      To set up a date

      No good morning, good night, crap. Just get her to meet you, or don’t text her. My advice. You care too much, and it shows. Go meet more women.

  99. Sanket says

    Hey Toni,

    There is one Chinese girl in my class and i am literally mad for her, I am very good at texting girls and was successful in past. So first i messaged her on FB and told that she is is beautiful. we had a chat and then in between she left the conversation . I was so annoyed as I was in full preparation and i was ready with topics of her interest and she left the conversation in between. then she started talking to me in class and told that she don’t use FB often. So again I started talking to her when she is alone and told her that she is beautiful and all that. Now she knows that I am interested in her. then I took her phone number and messaged her. She replied and again we had chat and again she left the conversation in between. So I kept 2-3 messages to her and stopped texting. after one week she replied and said sorry about not replying initially. Then next time when we met she asked me to join her with her friends for shopping and we had a very good time. her eye contact and body language both were positive. She even invited me for dinner with her friends but as I had some other plans already I politely denied. then after leaving i texted her that It was a nice time meeting you and we will meet soon again. But she didnt reply to my message. Now I want to plan a date with her. the problem is that I think she might be having a boyfriend already …. But i am not sure .I don’t know how to approach . As I know that this girl always keeps eye on her phone , still she prefer to ignore my messages . Is she really in to me ? how should I proceed ?. Should I text her ? How should I ask her for a date ? Please guide ! :)

    • Tony D says

      You’re just being way too nice and available. You’re not a challenge. Read my entire blog and get back to me. You need some game.

  100. Murray says

    Alright, let’s see if you’ve heard this one before. I liked this gal who was married and she put me in the LJBF section, which was fine since I didn’t want to cheat (or basically I figured she wouldn’t and I didn’t want to mess with another man’s woman). There is an age gap as well (I’m older). I also have an Eager Girl gf that she knows about. After about a year of friendship, next thing you know, she’s divorced and reaching out to me by text. I get excited to hear, but find out she’s out of the country. Then I hear nothing for a few months. It takes about that long to get all of that angst and separation anxiety out of my system. Then she starts texting again last Xmas.

    I get super-excited and get her to have a private Xmas dinner. We exchanged gifts and I gave her a big hug afterwards but at that time I was inexperienced with hand-holding, body language, and so on. I’ve only had Eager Girls up to this point so I’ve never had to work hard at a relationship, but I’m older now and shamefully inexperienced with the SoSo Girls. In the past, I believe I blew off SoSo girls right away and never bothered, but this SoSo Girl got to me. I think it was her holding my hands out of the blue when she was married that won me over.

    So by early January, she doesn’t text anymore. I initiate some texts, she’ll cut off after saying one or two things. I figured since I was in the LJBF category that I would at least get better treatment. She had made it known already that we could only be friends when I tried to engage, though I still conspire to change that. I went into a silent rage about being cut off on my texts. My friends recommended what you have suggested: the cold approach. So I did that.

    After about 6 weeks or so she started texting again. First initiating a few basic texts every few weeks and then to the point where she’s flirting, saying she misses me and asks me what I’m doing! Also, around March or so, she had switched to WeChat and she asked me to join that. The texting is different as it allows you to send voice messages. She prefers that over text. Although I’m usually just texting in public as I don’t like talking into the phone in public like that.

    So we chat and I get her to have dinner with me, six months after we last went out together. This time, after we meet, she brings a lady friend as well, though she never told me she was going to do that. I put on my best act, wear my best clothes, etc. Everything seems really good, however there isn’t any physical contact. Sadly I got injured the day before and was on antibiotics so I couldn’t drink when they had asked about going for a drink after dinner (wish I had lied and just went now in hindsight).

    It seems the date went ok. But then it’s not for another 3 weeks before she initiates another text, then another two weeks after that. Each time she always sounds as affectionate as ever. I can play back the sound of her voice on the WeChat voice messages to verify that I wasn’t hallucinating that sound. So after about two weeks of silence again, I initiated contact with her last Monday.

    She starts giving me her honeyed words over voice messages, while I text some humor. I then ask what she’s doing for July 4th & she tells me she’s taking her family to see the fireworks. So I ask her if I can join her. After that, she cuts off…No more voice messages, nothing! It makes me wonder if she just got hit by a bus. I see that on WeChat she updated with some new photos of bowls of fruit and she’s bitching about them (I had to translate it).

    I text her the next day, ask her what kind of fruit it is. Send her a photo of Orange Juice. No reply at all. So the next day, I write in her language (trying to be clever) that I’d like to know why she was upset over her fruits. No reply at all. I wait two days. Then I send out a witty joke text today. No reply at all. No updates on her WeChat either. Is it rag week? Or do you think she’s trying to avoid me asking about July 4th again?

    I’m sort of stuck on what I need to do next. Part of me thinks I need to do the cold approach again, but another part of me wonders if she got in a car crash or something and I want to reach out and ask but it’ll be at the risk of sounding like I care too much. I have no way to communicate with her but through the phone. I have no address, don’t know where she works, nothing. And she could block or cut me off anytime she pleases, but hasn’t done so..she just likes going into stealth mode…it’s coming up on 2 years since we first met as well.

    • Murray says

      Just an update. Haven’t heard from her in awhile and then out of the blue she starts texting again. She’s setting me up with one of her friends, so it’s another date with 2 women. I didn’t ask for this but it’s thoughtful and I guess I can’t complain. I’ll just try to enjoy it and make a better impression than before. I’ll report back later if anybody is interested in how it turns out. Otherwise, the end. :)

  101. Luke says

    hey I need your help! i’ve been seeing this girl for 7 months now and I am just about to ask her to be my girl but she hasn’t been responding to my messages lately (the past 2.5 weeks). we agreed to take it slow from the start. we’ve meet each others parents etc and things have been great but now I fear she may have gone of me. am I being paranoid? do I ask her where we stand? we’ve been on like a dozen dates and slept over at eachothers houses etc so I thought she was seriously into me. I really really like her and I don’t want to loose her! I fear if I play the waiting game she will move on, what do I do?

  102. saurez says

    theres this girl im texting and we get along well have stuff in common and we are supposed to be hanging out on Friday 2 days from now!! last week she texted me first everyday and this week I had texted her a couple of times and right in the middle of the conversations she just stopped texting me in some of them. she tell me she wants to hang out and is looking fwd to it but if I cant text her long enough to have a conversation how am I supposed to finalize the plans !?!?! I really need your help !!! please respond to this question soon!!

  103. matt says

    ok just going to throw this out there see if anyone knows whats up .. met this girl a year ago at a band i was with all my buds and she kinda showed up said hi and my name that was it haven’t talked to her senc tell 2 weeks ago came a crost her on facebook had a felling that i should hit her up so i did she responded two days latter she remembered me and my friends so we started to message eashother on facebook and was going pretty good had alot on cumming and jocked around and all that she ask what i do and were i live so i told her and ask her to but she didnt respond i noticed that she didi read the message … away a day latter was friday when to a club wiht my buddy that knows her he seen her and walked up to her so i when wiht and met her and talked we jocked and we were laphing and goffing off she left with her friends and was on the other side of the club my frind said she was looking over at me off and on … latter that night i when to go pee and i was in line and she seen me standing there wating so she came up and talked to me and was telling about her job and work and here life cinda she was realy close to me arms open right up in me talking .. then she left to wash her hands and i when to bathroom i cam out and she was cinda by the batheroom were i was i told her ill get here a drink so i did and then we cinda talked and her frinds came aournd and waht not and thay whantred to dance so she was like well i gess im going to dance .. like omg… so as she was walking away she was looking at me and waving me on to come wiht so i did and we danced the rest of the night ( hour ) had a good time then next day i texed her said im glad i ran in to you i have a good time she agreed and texed off and on tell about sunday i told her i wanna hit up a movie that i have not seen and asked her to come with she said she would love to but she was back home and after that i really didnt get any more texed from her … she like me ? do i aks her for a rain check ? or whate for her to text me i texted her a cupal other things but no response hope i didet mess it up she is really cool

    • Tony D says

      I suppose you have to be patient. Many girls have way too many social options. Ideally, she should be chasing you, saying yes to almost any request, or offering her free time. Just say, “What day are you free?” If she doesn’t give you a reply, delete her number and move on. Give it 48 hours.

  104. Smokey says

    Hey Tony, I could use a little coaching or at least clarification. So a couple of weeks ago I talked to a girl I’ve known for about a year and a half. She works at a place that I frequent so I see her quite often. Anyway I go in there and grab a few things and she’s all of a sudden making a lot of small talk and seems pretty interested. We talk about hanging out and that’s about it. I went back a week later and planned on getting her number but she actually offered it to me before I could ask. She told me to text her so that she has my number. I walk out feeling like a pimp. I text her my number and we have a conversation throughout the night while we both work. We had a couple times set-up to hang and smoke but I ended up having to work too late at night and she had to be in early. So finally I get off early. She gives me her address and tells me to come over. I get fresh, bring her some limes for her Coronas and some flowers thinking I’m being a mack. I’m pretty sure she didn’t say thank you for the flowers which I thought was kind of rude. I chalked it up to being pretty crunk when I got there. When I get there we’re talking and I say that I can’t drink for 3-4 more weeks because I’m dealing with some OWI court bs. She says she has had problems with that type of stuff in the past and went into some detail. So I’m like word we have a lot in common. We go sit on the couch eventually and watch a movie while talking also. I get ready to roll up only to tell her yeah btw I can’t smoke this either! She said you can’t smoke or drink?! I said no not for a month yet, maybe a couple weeks. Now I feel dumb as hell because that’s what our whole hanging out conversation is kind of about. She said she was good anyway and didn’t need to smoke again anyway. She said this will be good for my ride to the campground tomorrow. (She pretty much looked like she was higher than giraffe pussy) Which btw I’m super cool with. We made some small talk and I didn’t want to be really aggressive with her on the first time hanging out. I’m kind of regretting that after reading “high risk equals high reward”. SMH. I was there for about 2 hrs. Eventually she says she’s getting tired and basically starts nodding off. We talk some more on the way out the door and I didn’t even try to hug her or anything, damn. I text her on my way home and she replies and we end the conversation. She went out of town camping this whole weekend. I sent her one text on Fri afternoon, no response. I text her Sat night, no response. So ok whatever I figure she’s busy or I’m bugging her and don’t text or call again. In the meantime I add her on FB. Apparently she got back home and she still hasn’t answered my texts but has been doing all kinds of shit on FB. BTW she knows I’m 31 and she’s 22 and basically said she doesn’t care about that and actually asked me if I minded her age. I said not at all and I actually like it. What’s the problem here Tony? Besides that fact that I just wrote a novel….my bad!

    • Tony D says

      She is a party girl, and not good for a gf. Her drinking and drug use means she’s also promiscuous.

      You had a chance to fuck her, and you didn’t. 2 hours? I’d be on that in two minutes. Blah, blah, blah. Make a move bro, bang, then talk. She’s dissapointed in your lack of sexual aggression, and feels you will be a poor lover. So she’s moved on.

      Damage control. If you do get another date with her, you slam her against the wall (lightly) or onto a couch. ANd you make out hard. Press your cock on her leg, stare into her eyes…and then walk away, straighten yourself out, get a glass of water, explore. A few minutes later you do the whole makeout thing again, but less aggressive.

      Get it?

  105. kit says

    i’m having the same issue. i like this girl a lot, and i tried to chat her. she replied a couple of times but then she suddenly stopped. i tried to get the conversation going but it seems like shes gone with the wind. i really dont know if i said something silly but i think i dont.. any advice how to get back to her? cause i dont want to chat her everyday. it might just get the situation much even worse.

    • Tony D says

      You didn’t even read my article. Fuck you. All the answers are there. Don’t be lazy. Man up and deal with your shit. Then come back with your success story.

  106. rex says

    I met this girl in line in a movie theater and we started talking for a while until the movie started. afterwards she gave me her number and business card so we can catch movies some other time. i asked her to come out again for another movie and she said she it sounds fun wasnt sure can she make it. i texted her back the next day and told her just lemme know can she make it or not. she never responded back.

    fast forward 5 days later i asked her to come out for another movie thats showing next week, she agreed and came out. i wanted to take her out for dinner afterwards but she was busy with work.

    a week later, i texted her saying i liked her and thought she was cute and ask her out for to go out for dinner the next day. she said shes not too sure can she because her workload just doubled. well, i didnt go out for dinner with her and just texted her and asked her about her night. we texted like a few messages and i just stopped cuz i didnt know what else to say.

    a day later, i texted her good morning which didnt get a response back and later that night asked her do she wanna go get lunch. i didnt get a response back either.

    what should my next move be and what am i doing wrong besides caring too much?

    • Tony D says

      Well. Your game is pretty lame. A movie? Dinner? It’s so cliche man.

      Usually on my first dates I invite them to my house and cook them dinner.

      Movies in the theatre are boring, and buying them dinner puts pressure on the girl to be romantic. The girls knows you think she’s cute, why would you tell her, pump her ego, and lower your own value? You’re giving away your power man. Let her do some of the chasing. With all your texting you come across as needy.

      Go meet more girls. Forget about her for at least a week.

  107. matt says

    soooooo if you read my other message there was this girl that was not responding to my text or fb well just the other day i seen her again at the club and i didi not go up to her i was not going to talk to her but right when she seen me she cam up behind me and was like hayy how are you im sorry i didn’t message you back bla bla bla haha need i say i didn’t get a text or nothing for like 2 weeks but at the club it was like im her good friend again hmmm she just brook up with her bf a wile back she talked about that and why it happened idk if that has to do with anything but i dont get it haha she was all nice a close to me and she had me meet her friend and went out of here way at the end of the night to find me and give me a hug and tell me she is leaving.. wtf is going on here

    • Tony D says

      Well, it sounds like she’s a bit of a party girl. She probably gives her phone number to five or six guys a night. I bet she’s pretty and flirtatious, isn’t she? She’s also really friendly? Pretty, nice, friendly. When she posts a selfie on instagram she averages 37-82 likes?

      Forget about it man. This is going to take some serious work. She’s probably not a bar slut, but she also has a dozen guy friends that are texting her 24/7. You gots some competition.

      If you want a nice little hottie, find a girl that doesn’t party for a living.

      • matt says

        no i do think she is a partty girl she dont drink mutch at all and i never see her with guys at the club just her gfs she is pretty normal when i talk to her not all wild and crazy she had a bf for a few years told me he was not around enuff and took a new job that he will be gone alot she said whant a guy more close to famaly like she whats him to be invalved in famaly stuff and be there witch cinda makes me think she is normal down to earth maby she just scard to get invald with a new guy

        • Tony D says

          That’s entirely possible. It could also be that she’s seeing another guy that you don’t know about. Maybe nobody knows about. An older guy perhaps. Who knows? I’m sorry bro. Good luck.

    • Tony D says

      Why would a child have more than one toy? All hot women have multiple options. And any smart investor will play the odds.

  108. matt says

    got a crazy idea ha ha what if i just plant a kiss on her next time i see her at the club or some shit ha ha ??? maybe it is so simple that that is want she wants just some one to take her off here feet and take control .. each time i see here she is touchy feely and alwas up close to me .. close to were it would not take much to plant one … its ben a thought ha ha

    • Tony D says

      Yeah. Just escalate and try to kiss her. She will probably turn her head and “Omg, what are you doing!” But then she will understand the new relationship frame you’ve set. No friends without dating. Take it or leave it. Sort of harsh, but if she sides with you, you’re in.

  109. matt says

    or maybe just call her and talk to her ?? shit did give me her number for a resen i guess not ? just the way i look at it if would be like wtf is he calling me for. wired …. maybe not.. idk what you think ?

    • Tony D says

      What you need to do is develop a lifestyle where you have multiple women, multiple options. Then you won’t even think these thoughts. These are the thoughts of a desperate man. You are manifesting a lifestyle of scarcity just by thinking like this. Read my blog. Go out today to the mall, or the bar, and get three phone numbers. There’s so many women man. Seriously. I’m dating three right now. Had to drop one because four is too many.

  110. WTF says

    You self-identify as gay to a woman, yet women are weird?

    You delete a woman from Facebook just because she hasn’t trotted over to your pad to offer her vagina to you a few days after meeting you, YET WOMEN ARE WEIRD?

    This bitch was low self esteem and desperate. I would have dumped you miles behind on the unfriending, straight up, right there. “You unfriended me?” “Yeah, I did that.”

    *waves, walks away*

    “Drama. Bye.”

    Yes, you ARE a fag. Keep identifying as fag, because you are. Y U Chase Pussy? Anus yr destiny.

    There, fixed that for you.

  111. Demetrius says

    Hey Tony, you have given some great advice on how to deal with girls, which unfournately could’ve helped me out early on in this case.

    A little over a week ago, I met this girl online off a dating site. She asked for my number and in return gave me her’s. I text her later that night and everything was going fine, but I figured out over time that I was the one who text first. So, usually I would go a day or two without texting, just to see if she will text me, but she wouldn’t.

    So, when I hit her up a few days later…and ask if she was still interested of meeting me and she said “Yeah…I haven’t just heard from you lately”. Then I told her didn’t wanna come off as being clingy and also admitted that I was shy (*facepalm*)

    I realized that I fucked up after that comment, but miraculously she still was interested.She didn’t care about that. I tried to start over by reintroducing myself (another *facepalm) and she said I already know you! After that awkward moment, we continued to text and I told her that I was still interested and wanna get to know her daughter as well because its important. I basically said, I understand its a package deal so I’m ok with that.

    Then I told her I’ll talk to her later and she said alright. 2 days later, I text back and she doesn’t respond. The 3rd day, I text again and she doesn’t respond. Its been 4-5 days since she responded and I’m thinking that I scared her away. I feel like she gave me every opportunity to comeback and win, but I end up losing.

    She has a pretty busy schedule, giving that she’s a nurse so, I don’t know if thats the case. Sometimes when I text her it’ll take 5 seconds/5 hours to respond, but she is very hot and if I can get her?…..It would be incredible, but I don’t know what to do.

    • Tony D says

      It’s done son. You live you learn. Plenty of fish and all that. Learn how to cold approach. Read my blog. Get some game. Quit being such a weirdo. I doubt you will hear back from her.

  112. Adam says

    Hi mate I’m talking to this girl we’ve talked before and it sort of just stopped at some point, we get on really well but the last couple of times we’ve talked I’ve sent her a message and then she’s replied, I sent another message and then she hasn’t replied. I left it a few days sent her a message and the same thing again. My phone sometimes doesn’t receive texts but I’m pretty sure that’s not the problem as it has not done it recently. She seems to like me as she replied with 3 kisses when I sent 2 and asks questions and that so I’m confident than she would want to reply so why isn’t she? I’m not sure what to do with this girl and I lost a bit of confidence after getting friendzoned by a girl I really liked so I’m not sure at all! Any advice?

  113. Jason says

    Ay tony so me and this girl been texting for a 2 month, I met her on facebook andasked for her skype name before her number and we would skype basically every other night, made her laugh and we’d talk on there for so long the time would go fast lol anyways we started liking each other n i told i like her and she told she does too alot! But she lives in.canada tho… She beautiful tony and chill as hell. So we started textin and thing were going great and idk she just stopped replyin to my text and texts me back once in awhile. I dont sit around n wait tho. What do i do tony? Should just move on? Idk. Im confused.

    • Tony D says

      Well, she doesn’t even live in your city. What are you supposed to do? Text forever? You’re just a fantasy, a game to her. To make reality you two would have to meet up. Otherwise, go out and meet more girls. I’m dating three in my city. I have two in Toronto, one in Montreal….

  114. evanz says

    Maybe you can give me some advice. I met a girl on-line and we went out for drinks (turned into dinner) on Friday night. I thought we got along well. At the end of the date she said I should call her, said it a couple of times. I texted her on Monday “hey :)” and she never replied back. It’s been a couple of days now. She has my number and we had texted a little before, so it’s not an issue that she doesn’t know the number or something like that. My gut tells me she just lost interest, or maybe never really had it and was humoring me, so I haven’t called her. Any advice? Is it possible she was just too busy to text back?

  115. meme says

    hey tony. i live in mississauga. so i met this very tall girl about 6’2 at an event. i am 6’5 usually i dont have problem with women but this girl is different. our conversation went very well and we exchanged numbers right away. I texted her a day later to which she never replied. weird thing she changed her facebook profile picture right after my text message. what do you think this is?

  116. John says

    I don’t get it we talk just about everyday she gave me her number without hesitation I even suggested that we study together for our math class and she was totally down for it. So I capitalize on my suggestion that we study together and we set a date and time even that morning after class we talk about our study date to which she said “I’ll see you there” So even before we are supposed to meet I txt her to confirm our study session she does not respond the time we agreed on was between 5:30/6 so I show up to the spot without any knowledge if she is coming or not. It is not until 6 does she txt me with a simple “Hey!” I text her back “Hey whats up?” After that she does not txt back. Why did she flake out on me. I really like this girl and it seems like she likes me, but I feel she is unsure of herself. Could it be that she has a boyfriend, but is afraid to tell me or is she just playing head games with me. I’m not going to bring up the fact that she flaked out on me only if she brings it up on top of that I’m not going to let out my frustration things happen, but the fact that she couldn’t call/txt to cancel I feel it was disrespectful and a waist of my time. I don’t plan on trying to reschedule with her only if she wants to reschedule then I’ll let her do the planing and if she flakes out again well then I’m just gonna let her go cause she’s not the only girl out there and I’m tired of playing head games. On top of it Today she didn’t even talk to me. We both have another class in another building so we would usually hang out before then, but today she walks in looks at me and sits on the other side of the lobby. I think its time to move on, but its just been bugging me as to why she would just be cool one day and a total bitch the other day.

  117. Kyle says

    I don’t know how I’m gonna explain this but I’ll try. I met this girl about a month ago randomly downtown (she started the conversation with me) and we just clicked. Before we left she asked for my number but I couldn’t give it to her because my phone didn’t work so she said she’s here every week and you know where to find me. I really liked her but didn’t wanna make a move because I barely knew her even tho when we were interacting it was like we knew eachother, it’s really weird. A week later I added her on Facebook and we started talking more and she gave me one of her older phones so we can text instead of using Facebook but it’s gotten me completely confused. She seemed to like me, at least that’s what the signals looked like, but I don’t know why she just randomly engaged in a conversation with me after what I noticed on Facebook and when she started texting me, I’ll admit it, this shits about to get crazy.

    I noticed she has a kid and still living with the father, which is fine but it’s not fine. When she texted me she would tell me how much of a dick he is, how he likes to start fights, treat her like shit to make her feel bad and blame everything on her (don’t know why I’m telling you this, but it’s the only way to get a positive response). She even told me that he’s cheated on her in the past and that she’s tried leaving him many times but he gets suicidal, but when shit goes south with them sometimes he threatens to leave her which is bs because he’s a manipulator AND she went as far as telling me she wont have sex with him. After talking to her in person ALONE (which she had to lie about to her bf because he gets jealous if she even talks to any dude) she told me the only reason he’s with him is because she feels the child having both parents is better than her happiness and that she can’t afford to not have him there so she’s stuck. But I don’t know how to explain my feeling to her without it being awkward.

    So a week later we planned another day to hang out at my house and this is when EVERYTHING changed, I mean EVERYTHING. I was texting her and she said she was driving and that he literally went through her text messages and Facebook messages with a sad face but said that he wasn’t mad and that he was having a good day. I’ve seen the way he treats her and something doesn’t seem right. So she texts me saying I should go over there since I’m friends with her friend that’s going and we were all drinking having a good time and I got to know her bf a lot better, but it just doesn’t make sense. It seems he’s completely changed after he seen the texts and I’m not sure why… He used to be abusive (not physically), treat her like shit, make her cry, start numerous fights with her just to fight with her, etc and now he’s treating her right. I got a small time frame at the small party to talk to her one on one but as she was about to say something important she changed the subject as soon as her bf walked in. She was saying something about her being younger than me and that I wouldn’t wanna date someone her age anyways and that’s pretty much where she ended. She’s 18 and I’m 21 btw.

    I’m gonna try to end this is fast as possible. So the next day (which was suppose to be the day we were suppose to go to my place) she was hungover and slept all day so it couldn’t happen and ever since then I can’t seem to get a conversation going with her, nothing. We texted a little bit that day but nothing major, so I sent her a text the next day, nothing, and today I sent her a text which resulted in 3 texts total. She used to text me all the time, used tones of smileys, she seemed really interested in the conversations, and now she wont even talk to me. I know she wants to be friend cause in person she acts like she really likes me. You have any idea whats going on here, because I’m clueless. I really do care about this girl but I don’t know how I’m going to explain my feelings and be completely honest with her, without her feeling extremely awkward.

    I find it weird that she told me she really trusts me and that she can tell me anything and this was 3 weeks we’ve known eachother and only seen eachother 2 or 3 times. A couple weeks ago I said something about friend zone and she just laughed so she didn’t put me in the friend zone. So you got any advice for me? I don’t really know too many people since I’m sorta new to the town. Sorry for the long message but I really need your advice, as I feel you can help with this issue. So why wont she text me back? Should I just ignore her for a little bit and try again or wait for her to text me? I feel he’s gonna go back to his roots and treat her like shit and I don’t want her using me a fucking emotional tampon, should I explain my feelings then or what, I’m really confused here.

    • Tony D says

      You’re all bent out of shape over a taken GIRL. Not a woman, an 18 year old, teenage single mom. Plus, she’s TAKEN. SHe complains that he treats her like shit? That’s because she’s attracted to guys that treat her like shit. Not nice, attentive, well adjusted boys like yourself.

      Read my daygame book, read Double Your Dating by David Deangelo, and go meet more women. There are plenty of pretty, smart, well adjusted and pretty young girls who aren’t single Mom’s out there.

      If you’re in a very small town, move to a city.

      You’re wasting your time, and that’s why she’s being distant. Stop texting her. Let it go.

      Chasing this woman is a good way to get beat up or killed by an angry husband.

  118. Kyle says

    I’m sorry if I come off as a dick, it’s not intentional. I live in a college town so there’s plenty of pretty and intelligent women here but I don’t just wanna go to a random party or something, fuck a girl and go on my merry way, that’s not me. I want a relationship, not a group of women to fuck cause I’ll feel guilty about it. I think you’re right about that one girl tho, things were going good until her boyfriend changed. I honestly think after he seen the texts he realized how much of a bitch he is and that he needs to change. She just seemed interested due to her problems, in essence using me as an emotional tampon when I didn’t realize it.. Oh and she’s 19 and had the kid when she was 18, my bad I thought she was 18. So what do you suggest I do to interact with women and get something going? Knowing I’ve probably tried almost every trick in the book but I’m sure there’s something that works for you that could work for me.

    • Tony D says

      No you don’t come off as a dick. But look at what you’re saying. You don’t want to go to a party and just fuck some random chick. You don’t have to bro. You can open your heart to love. You can love other women. They’re all around you. This is part of the problem. She won’t leave him, because he’s what she likes. You’re thinking logically, she’s not. That’s female psychology.

      If you chase her like she’s the one special snowflake, you’re deluding yourself. And one a subconsious level she knows it. So she won’t be leaving him for you anyway. She’s not leaving the man she loves. What she wants from you is probably drama. Sure, there’s attraction. But pretty women have attraction, sexual attention, facebook validation, and orbiters. You think you’re the only guy she’s flirting with? Hell no. But she’s the only girl for you at this moment. If you weren’t here, looking for answers, and literally had sexual abundance, you’d have to ask her to stop texting you and showing up at your house.


      Be willing to walk away. Have them chase. Be willing to lose her forever, for real, and you’ll never get rid of the girls. Learn this by learning how to attract girls any day or night. It might take five years.

  119. Kyle says

    Let me add this… From my experience, most of the girls here are taken and the single ones are only here temporarily or they’re looking for one nighters. I’m not like that anymore, I used to be but not anymore.

  120. John Makaino says

    Hey Tony- I need some advice on a situation Im in. I walked up to this girl and I gave her my number and told her she was beautiful (because she was) She replied thank you so much, and I walked away. The Next day she text me and said “hey it’s ******** you gave me your number yesterday. I said it was nice meeting you and asked how she was doing – she replied “I have a-lot of school work” but then asked how I was doing. I replied and told her I was good- and that I would like to meet up with her sometime if she was interested? She replied- “yeah I’d like that :)” and then I replied great when is good for you? hows tomorrow night?– she didn’t reply. The next day I texted her after about 15hrs of waiting – and I said hey how are you? – i still haven’t gotten a reply and it’s been a day. I still don’t know why especially after she seemed so interested?? I would appreciate any insight you may have, Thanks.

      • John Makaino says

        I read your article Tony, and I get what u mean about giving her time – but Im also not to sure on how persistent to be?

        • Tony D says

          Dude. Maybe you know this, but you don’t ask a girl if you could have her number please? Or if she’s interested? You don’t ASK. You ASSUME and TELL. Like a man. You don’t tell them it was nice to meet them, that’s they’re job. It was nice for them to MEET YOU. Get it? Buy my daygame book and learn some proper game. At least read double your dating by David Deangelo.

  121. John says

    I met this girl at a mutual friends wedding. We started talking and she asked me for my number, which i gave her. We met up the following weekend for coffee which turned out a lot better than i had planned. through out the week we sent each other 400+ text messages and she was adamant that we watch a movie this time. We met up and had 45 mins or so to kill before the movie began so we talked (actually she talked most of the time and i listened, she told me some personal things to which i replied “you’re opening up to me quite a lot.” Which in hindsight wasn’t the smartest thing i could have said. During the movie she was happy, i was happy. The next day i texted her asking if she arrived home alright (we split around 11:30 pm) she replied “yes haha haha what about you”. I replied yea. I refrained from texting her that afternoon, due to uni work that needed to be finished. Around 7 or so i texted her a picture of a toy she gave me asking her how her day has been and how shes doing overall. Usually i get a few lines and a question or a witty comment back. she just said “i’m tired lol worked all day today.” I let that go. The next day (Tuesday) i sent her a text asking her if she isn’t doing anything on the weekend does she want to hang out. No reply received that day and the day after. Today i thought stuff it i’ll ask her once more and if i get nothing i’ll move on. I asked her if she wanted to come with me to a lounge on Saturday or Sunday at 8:30 and i deleted her number in thinking that if she wants to reply she can and we’ll stay in contact if not i’m done. I got a reply from her now saying “i’m working both nights :(( haha guess ive been holding my breath for a while.” i want to know what her last text means. should i persist or should i just let it go…Why do girls do this crap..

    • Tony D says

      Dude. Don’t be so damn needy. She has to work, and has other friends. She probably has other guys asking for her time. You haven’t even banged her yet. Chill. Call your friends. Go out and meet more girls. Why should she dedicate the best night of the week to an option? You’re an option. But for you, she’s your only option? Give her some space.

  122. koizer says

    Tony, I have been going out with this girl i like for about 7 months already. She didnt want any commitment and so i agreed that we should be close friends.. but its been terrible because she is hot and cold. When we go out, we have fun, we laugh, we make good eye contact, we touch. but after the meet up, she will act strangely. she will reply text with one word, she will reply slower, she hardly pick up calls and she will do this kind of thing where she will hint that she wants me to go out with her. and when i do (eventually), she will say she is busy. So its driving me nuts. what should i do?

  123. Joe says

    Tony, I’m in 11th grade… I got this girl’s number, and in class we were good friends. I got her #, the first day, we texted all night. However… the next day, ignored in class, and ignored from text. This has gone on for like 3 days. I asked her why she didn’t reply, she claimed her phone was dead, yet I saw her using it. What do you recommend I do?

  124. Jack says

    What’s up!

    I met this girl on some dating app thing, I didn’t install the app seriously but we got matched and texted really long texts to eachother for about 2/3 weeks.

    On Saturday she was in the local area and we met up, had a coffee and hung out in the city. Since meeting up she sent me about 4 texts in total. On Sunday she was on a day out, and I said “totally understand if you can’t text, have fun where you’re going :) ” and now she’s back (monday).

    I’ve seen her post on Instagram and on facebook, but still no response. Something like this has happened before where i waited it out and after a whole day and eventually without actually responding to my text she said “hi there! how’re you doing cutie?”.

    I’m unsure if i should allow time for her to text me first, or i should persist and text her after not getting a response from her? To this time it has been: 1 day and 4 hours since I text her hahah.

    This girl is so awesome, fingers crossed she texts me!

  125. Darryl says

    Hi Tony, nice article. I’m in a bit of a situation here and looking for advice, I known this girl for about a year now, everything was going great, we bounded well she told me she loved me and everything, met her parents they loved me, the thing is I was leading her on for 8 months because I had feeling for another girl ” I know lame right”..long story short she found out that I had sex with this other girl doing our 8 months, I guess she was really hurt because she thought we we going be a couple, I mean I really wanted to be a couple too, it’s just that my ex was still in the picture and I was tryna hold everything off until the feelings weren’t they’re…idk that was in the best and I really learned from that mistake. Now my problem is that the girl I led on for 8 months doesn’t want to have nothing to do with me even months after no contact, by the way she has a boyfriend now but lives out in North Carolina and she lives in connecticut, I don’t get it then been going out for about 6 months now, I’m surprised it’s still lasting, at first I thought it was a rebound..but tony after months of no contact I described to contact her, she basically says she doesn’t want to mess with me because I bring drama along everything, it’s untrue and I find it as an excuse because she has something going on now, I just need advise, I text and I really don’t get that much of a reply, or never get a reply I still feel that she’s hurt, it kinda hurts because I changed for the dramatically, i just need to prove to her that I’m the one, what should I do

    • Tony D says

      Well man, you kinda blew it. You had your shot. Now she has a boyfriend. I wouldn’t want my current girlfriend texting with some guy she used to have a big crush on. So why should she text with you? Not to be a dick, but look at it from her perspective? You led her on for so long and now you can’t have her, you want her? That might not be the case, but that’s her perspective.

      My advice. There’s nothing you can do but go meet more women.

  126. Dan the Man says

    Tony’s right fella’s. Girls are extremely emotionally conflicted creatures. And quite fickle when it comes to who or what they like. Your best bet if you want a girl to stay interested in you is to give them just a little something and then play it cooler than fonzy. Also…. don;t instantly respond to every message you get. Make them wait a bit and they’ll end up wanting you even more. I am by no means a player but in my experience this all you can do! You’re a man, be strong and act like one!

  127. Dayvis says

    Thanks Tony your the best at my question but it have problem she works next to my stand I work in,she looks at me at times still she haven’t text me back. What will you if your were in my shoe?

    • Tony D says

      You see her every day at work and she won’t answer your texts? That’s not a good sign. I would ask her when her lunch break is, and then go for lunch with her. Then you can try to built some rapport and amp up her attraction. If you don’t know how to do that, then that is exactly why she’s not texting you back.

  128. John says

    First of all, thanks Tony, this article helped tons, but I’m curious to know about something. I met a girl who my sister introduced me to. Long story short, we usually go out because my sister and her are best friends and they always want to go out and do something. Anyways, this girl i like, I tried having a full on conversation with her, but I feel like my sister gets in the way sometimes. Yeah i know, I should probably talk to her about it next time we meet, BUT this is the problem… I’m not sure if she likes me anymore, I mean at first when we facebook messaged, she did(i think because she replied everytime), but I guess ever since I met her personally, like i guess she doesn’t anymore. The first time we(including my sister and another friend) hung out, I couldn’t tell if she liked me. There was no flirting signs and no touching because I just didn’t see anything from her. Well anyway got her number that night and started texting each other the next few days. 3 weeks later passed and throughout those 3 weeks, I kept seeing her every weekend cause i had to drop off my sister at the boarding school and everytime i went to school, we would go out as a group, but still never really saw any signs. I payed for food and drinks, made her laugh here and there. Idk what the heck is going on…I texted her 3 days ago with a question(didnt respond) and then said goodnight(with a smiley face) and that was the last time i heard from her. Im sure i’ll be seeing her again because my sister and her go to the same school.
    By the way, my sister told me she’s never on her phone because doesnt really like texting and that she receives a lot of text messages.
    Idk man, should i text her back cause i was the one to text back saying goodnight 3 days ago(she read the message by the way). What should i do the next time I see her? help tony, i dont know what to do

    • Tony D says

      Fuck signs. You sound like a needy little bitch.

      Man up and ask her out. “Hey. I think you’re fine. What are you doing tuesday let’s do xyz?”

      Ask her right to her face, and don’t you dare beg.

      If you can’t do that, you don’t deserve her.

  129. TNike says


    Pretty good thing you got going on here … Thank You !

    Ok heres my deal – Im 36 she’s 38. We started messaging on a dating site, hit it off and agreed to go on a date. We’re both from the countryside and know each others friends and its a very tight and small community. Although I now live 45mins away in the city.

    We met in a bit of a grungy bar, chatted a lot then she kissed me and we kissed a lot. I cut the date off about 12:30 as had things to do the next day. She wanted to stay.

    We agreed to go on a date the following week. There was some messaging during the week though nothing crazy. We went out however again to a pretty poor bar. Again she kissed me first and we kissed a lot then eventually went downstairs to the club where we got very frisky in the dark corners. Probably too much. At the end of the night I invited her back to my place which she declined. I shouldn’t have asked her though all the signs were there and we were drunk.

    Since that night she has gone very quite, never texting first and cutting the conversation off via text early. I tried phoning her last week to invite her out as I promised I would do. She didn’t answer, texted me 20mins later to say sorry she was out. I said Id phone her the following day though she asked can she call me in 2weeks and she had to come off the dating site (she never did). Very odd, texted her the following day, said lets be straight and that its good to date other people and I strive in competition. She said she was stressed with work (Don’t buy it!) and was not dating. She said it had nothing to do with me and that she will phone me last week (she never did). And she made it clear that no more drink !

    I texted her about 3 hours previously just to say Hello. She never replied.

    Im not sure what happened.

    1/ Perhaps Ill wait 3 days and then phone her. Though doubt she will answer.
    And besides why chase if she never replied to my last text.
    2/ Perhaps I shouldnt phone her and send her a text in a few days just to say message received but all the best and besides we’ll hang out as mates sometime.

    Im kinda wondering, either she found someone else or she now feels Im looking just to hook up (which Im not) and she doesnt want the locals to think she’s easy (which she’s not).

    Again, I realise there are no clear answers here. Who knows what she’s thinking. I note guys on this site seem to think its better to follow up with a couple more texts / calls rather than cut it off immediately if she doesnt respond. Difficult one.

    • Tony D says

      It’s unfortunate that you live in a small town where options are limited to older women who play games. She should be jumping on your dick, a 38 year old woman attracting a younger man!

      First off you know you blew it when she offered you a window of opportunity and you denied it. If a new woman offers me sex (one I’m attracted to) and I deny her, there is rarely a second chance. The female ego is incredibly brittle due to the nature of their emotional instability. They might take that as rejection, and then pump you up only to deny you later. Such is their often vindictive nature. (Note, this is not the case with all women. But realize they are completely capable of thinking this way.)

      You’re right. She could be seeing someone else, as she’s on the online meat market and if she’s even slightly attractive will have fresh meat lined up for weeks. Many of them will be players looking for an easy lay, and they will probably get it. If she’s banging even one bad boy, and you aren’t badder, or a complete provider type, you’re done.

      My advice. Do not contact her again until she contacts you. And when she does, you set up a meet at YOUR HOUSE. And then straight to booze, then sex. No big dinner. No dancing. Good luck.

  130. john c. smith says

    this vid and article is bullshit. I should start my own services. I don’t go out. I don’t have tons of girl friends. I hate most people. I do remember one time my cousins friend was complaining about his gf not fucking him anymore. I told him some massage tricks and how to move it to foreplay. I got heckled to no end and everyone else that overheard thought I was nuts. I told him to do what I said. A week later he told me he followed my advice and she was begging him to fuck her brains out. She also experienced multiple orgasms. First time. With him. Do you think he was getting some ass on the regular after that or what? And yeah…she told her friends. So when they broke up, which they were going to anyway, he got to fuck all her friends because they already knew they were having problems, and he was still being a gentleman, while fucking her brains out. They thought he was sweet, mysterious, and they were all jealous enough to not give a shit to take a run at him. Yes, I am evil when I need to be.

    Looks are of course important, but that can be overcome if you can get close enough to get in someones head, and that means knowing how to talk about people. More often, it means learning how to get people to talk about themselves. It’s how someone feels about you, not how you feel about them. Most people are basically damaged. Get this in your head. It hurts, it sucks and its disgusting. Unfortunately it’s how it is.

    I complained to a female friend about some problems I was having and she had the balls to ask “have you ever had a good relationship?”. This was coming from a woman who had a lifetime of abusive cheating partners. She was seriously criticizing me.

    If you have some money, aren’t hideous and have some good sex game, your in. What keeps you in is you in some way fulfill her subconscious need for self destruction. This vid is garbage because it asks a woman to explain women. Do you see how many times this girl slows down to get her brains together?

    If you just approach a woman and say “your beautiful” etc, you will get nowhere unless you fit her sexual type to a T and she is horny and ready to fuck, which is different for each type of woman and every girl has a man whether in life or a celebrity etc. that she will fuck at the drop of a hat. Woman are for the most part haunted by the idea of a perfect life and picking the wrong mate. What this does is make them as screwy as men because both sexes at their core if all rules were off would just go fuck everyone’s brains out.

    In reality people need more than sex compatibility for long term relationships. Initially to break a woman down you need to show you value her for more than sex while keeping the undertone of sexual interest. This keeps her from feeling like a whore. To be used for sex or only valued for sex is a terrible feeling for anyone.

    If a guy is too predatory, its obvious he just wants sex. If a guy is too nice, he wants sex and a relationship. He wants to tie you down and have sex with you. Giving in to either one makes the girl feel guilty and she will get scared either way but for different reasons. Women are supposed to be nurturers but most of them are not, except for obligation and unfortunately this is becoming more and more of a problem in western society.

    When a guy gets past a woman’s defenses she will basically start trying to sabotage the relationship. Basically she will latch on to any guy that pays attention to her and will start to follow you like a puppy dog. If at this point you don’t start acting a bit controlling while aloof, she will not feel valued. Was it always like this? No….and the reason is that people used to have to get married to have sex and children and therefore had to think more about what they brought to the table in a relationship (not that it was a perfect world, many of the same problems were in existence). The problem is that most girls lose interest where they have to take any, and I mean any form of responsibility what so ever. That would make them feel guilty but then limit their options.

    If a guy understands you and makes you feel comfortable+horny then its a green light. This is when a guy represents her dark side, the part she knows and fears can get her disqualified from a good man in the end. They don’t value themselves deep down and are trying to find somone who pefectly validates them. This is why they go for the douche bags. Habits+stupid+insecurities+fear of being alone. This is the friendzone. The friendzone is bullshit by the way, because many lovers are friends and start out as friends and should be friends, but what is the friendzone?

    A friend is someone who you are considerate to, someone who you treat fairly, someone you are kind to and respect. Yeah, how often do these things not happen in a sexual relationship? Yes, because sexual taste and motivation and how it affects women in particular can be deeply deeply selfish. Same for men. So the “friendzone” can be that shes not attracted to you or no chemistry, but all else means “You make me feel like shit without even sleeping with you, and you will probably call me out on my bullshit while still trying to be good to me and I can’t deal with that”. A woman puts a man through hell because basically she feels the common defense is “nobody deserves me” while feeling “I don’t deserve anybody”. Then loneliness kicks in.

    A woman who says she knows what she wants is clueless. A woman who says she is simple is anything but. I’ve had a better time getting along with girls that are outright gold diggers because they are at least honest and ready to play. Money, time, energy, feelings and fucking are always being bartered for and traded. A persons needs and wants are multi facted.

    A man that will hold a job and pay the bills, take you back after cheating if he loves you because he wants to know what went wrong and how to fix it rather then just jerking you by the hair if you are that screwed up, fight for you, protect you, adore you listen to you, support you. Basically what a man is supposed to do.

    A man doesn’t have to do any of these things, but a man will want to do these things naturally if a woman fulfills him. If a woman fulfills him, she has him exposed and she needs to help keep him strong because he will trust you to share his feelings when he cant cope, because he will break his neck, his back and his wallet for a woman he loves. Oh and after a certain point in life you don’t have anyone but your chick and your family. That’s a big one. If your lady can’t emotionally support you, you are kind of fucked.

    Initially a girl wants to be seen as more than a sex object, but later she will want drama so she doesn’t feel guilty because her true self esteem issues come out and she wants to feel loved and secure. This usually comes in the form of more fucking, driving the man away or cheating, or tolerating a cheating man that was no good to begin with that already was exploiting her with her subconscious approval. Sexual attachment, and common interests keep most people together. When one or both starts to go, then it’s good bye.

    If a woman has any idea that a man has feelings other than sexual attachment, it scares the shit out of her because it’s not all about her anymore. A woman will only push away after its an obvious nightmare. When a woman blows you off, it’s because the nightmare is too obvious. Whether it’s 2 days, 2 hours, or 20 years, most people split up. Same reasons, same problems, it’s just how quickly your going through the cycle. Good luck

  131. Pete says

    Article is helping, but I’m wondering if I’ve already gone too far. Met a girl online a few months ago, we texted for ages, met up, carried on texting, met up multiple more times without anything going further but I was pretty clear I was into her, maybe too clear. Just giving her compliments and stuff, whatever, thanking her for a nice evening (to which she’d reciprocate). Along the way she’d have moments where she’d stop texting and then in a few days be all like I’m sorry I was busy, but when I was with her it was fine.

    This latest ‘ignore’ lasted longer, it’s only really been a few days but I’m just not used to it. The thing that gets to me is that on the website where we met she’s updated her photo to a current one, is online etc. I’ve found it ridiculously hard to find someone I like over time and I also lack experience taking a relationship to the next step so I’m pretty afraid of letting her get away and I think that’s showing. I’m finding it hard getting through a day without thinking about her which is making me not contacting her feel incredibly difficult. Yes I realise I come off like a gigantic pussy.

    But anyway, I’ve left a few texts that she didn’t get back to and also phoned her twice and she hasn’t answered/called back. Now I’m gonna leave it for atleast a day but I hope the damage hasn’t already been done. What sort of stuff should I be doing if eventually she gets back to me and I see her again? Could do with advice for both situations.

  132. Anthony says

    Tony, I met this girl on line a couple months ago. She is very sweet an everything I could ask for. We have gone out about 4 times, in two months, because she has been busy with horse riding 6-7 days a week after work, but I have also gone to the past 3 of her competitions on the weekends so in total you could say we hung out 7 times. She would also apologize for not being able to hang out and that she would have more time for me when competition season is over (just ended this past weekend).
    She made it very clear she wanted to take things slow an we haven’t slept together yet, only kissed. Now here is where I am uncertain. The past week and a half we haven’t spoken much. Being that I really like her a few days ago I told her I deleted my match profile and I want to work towards becoming exclusive with her. I didn’t hear back, so I texted her a day later an said “I guess where not on the same page”. Well I got a response back from her saying that “I should never assume where both not on the same page, and that she has been very busy with work and not responding back to anyone an has been bringing work home at nite, and that I shouldn’t bombard her with things and wait till she has a chance to say something back”.
    I realize I came off super needy, but im also a shit bat crazy medical student who runs on 2 hours of sleep so sometimes I don’t think. I apologized for the was I acted and haven’t heard back in a day. We have plans for this Saturday. Did I totally mess this up after two months, or will she come around?

  133. Pete says

    Article is helping, but I’m wondering if I’ve already gone too far. Met a girl online a few months ago, we texted for ages, met up, carried on texting, met up multiple more times without anything going further but I was pretty clear I was into her, maybe too clear. Just giving her compliments and stuff, whatever, thanking her for a nice evening (to which she’d reciprocate). Along the way she’d have moments where she’d stop texting and then in a few days be all like I’m sorry I was busy, but when I was with her it was fine.
    This latest ‘ignore’ lasted longer, it’s only really been a few days but I’m just not used to it. The thing that gets to me is that on the website where we met she’s updated her photo to a current one, is online etc. I’ve found it ridiculously hard to find someone I like over time and I also lack experience taking a relationship to the next step so I’m pretty afraid of letting her get away and I think that’s showing. I’m finding it hard getting through a day without thinking about her which is making me not contacting her feel incredibly difficult. I know, you said do something else, etc, but it’s hard.

    But anyway, I’ve left a few texts that she didn’t get back to and also phoned her twice and she hasn’t answered/called back. Now I’m gonna leave it for atleast a day but I hope the damage hasn’t already been done. What sort of stuff should I be doing if eventually she gets back to me and I see her again? Could do with advice for both situations.

  134. Nicolas says

    Well.. first let me say to Tony that he is a very informative, you really know your stuff. Anw, i met this girl couple nights ago and had fun that night, drunk a little, danced in the club and then we ended up in my place. spent the night, fooled around in the morning (so far great right? :P) so, im taking her to the train station to go to her house which is in a nearby town and during the drive she was all like, i dont wanna sound cliche but i dont usually do this kind of stuff, and i dont want you to think that u are just another guy, because you are not. i gave her my number, she texted me saying she had a great time and that im a great guy and that she really likes me.. we chatted a little.. that was yesterday,. so.. i let one day pass like that and at first i saw it as a one time thing but came to recon that i really liked her too.. so, today afternoon, i text her that a xmas market is opening in town and if she would like to join me. aaaand after 5 hours im watching my 6 episode of Person of Interest cz im trying to stop being angry and frustrated for not replying.. and to add, after checking whatsup, not only she received it but also ,depending on the times that it said that she was online, she saw at twice.. so man.. what do you suggest?

    • Tony D says

      Congrats. Please re-read the article. I’ve already answered this question man. There’s no secret sauce or technique. You wait. Then try her again in a week. She might have a boyfriend, she might feel like she fucked you too quickly. So many reasons and you can’t force her to text you back.

  135. donette says

    This weird old classmate of mine messaged me on saturday night and said she wanna spend a whole day and night with me on friday or saturday and monday onwards she stopped replying to messages ! And its wednesday today . Hopefully i get some other chick this weekend other wise i am gonna kil her =.= !

  136. Rudy says

    Ok….I have this situation. A few months ago I started talking to this girl. She is actually my daughter’s mother’s friend. We started texting a lot and went on a few dates. We even went on a trip. Things went good but I admit I wasn’t aggressive enough in fact she even mentioned it. It something that I knew I just haven’t been in the dating scene for a long time. Anyways we went on a trip to NY together and I think my daughters mother found out. Because a few days after we came home we continued to text. In fact, Saturday we had text and made plans to go out to a movie the next day. On Sunday I text her to let her know what time I would pick her up, However, she never responded. I text her two or three time and she never responded. I even called and no pick up. So I waited for two days and text her again. I didn’t ask why she didn’t answer I just text her Hi and asked how her day was. She never responded. a few days later today on Thanksgiving I texted her Happy Thanksgiving text message and still no response. What the hell is going on? I really like her but I have no idea if it’s because my daughters mom got mad at her or if she just not interested anymore. What should I do?

    • Tony D says

      Stop texting her and move on with your life. Lots of women out there mate. Lots. Get out of the house and learn how to get them. Why are you dating your ex wife’s friends? That’s fucked. If she’s not replying it’s because she either lost her phone or is not able or wanting to include you in her life. Deal with it bro. It sucks, but that’s life. Wait for her to contact you.

  137. mike 2 says

    so i think i mest this one up i texter her hay want to got to the mall or a move 2 times evre tim she changes the subjeckst and never gets back to it i cant tell if she likes me she wants to chill with me at lunch but i dont like her frinds wat to do ???? HELP

  138. Person says

    hey man thanks for the info! i thought this might work so ill give it a try the same thing happened to me. i was on Facebook and i would talk to her a lot then she stopped so ill just wait it out if she doesn’t text back then whatever ill find someone else

  139. Chris says

    Hey man, need your advice. I’ve been on a couple of dates with a girl and at the end I suggested meeting up again and she said she’d had a tough week, was unsure and she’d call me. She text me by the time I’d got home with something playful. Well, as expected, she didn’t call. To keep the ball rolling I followed up with a text (not asking her out) and she replied. About a week later, I thought why not text her and ask her out at the end of the message. No reply! Is this the time to take the hint, or try a bit of persistence? Cheers

    • Tony D says

      That sucks dude. It probably has something to do with the dates. That’s where you should focus. Find out how you are screwing up the date. Or the way you are acting. Maybe you aren’t escalating in an intelligent way. Maybe you come off as insecure or needy? I hope you aren’t buying her dinner or anything. I hope you aren’t waiting to kiss her on the doorstop. I hope you have kissed her.

      It’s hard to say. She could be busy. But if she says she’s busy and isn’t replying to your messages it’s not a good sign.

  140. Scott says

    I’m a recent divorced guy after 20 years and went out for the 1st time with a friend. Had a friend come up to me and say this girl thought I was cute and dragged me over to talk to her. Went well and had a 10 min conversation with her and her friend.

    Gave me her number and seemed interested and was Ok when I asked if I could call her.

    I text the next day just to say it was nice to meet her and would call soon. Left a message a few days later.

    Been about 3 days with no response and I figured I did enough, should I text or call one more time?

    Been out of the game a long time, Thanks for any advice.

  141. Marko says

    Tony, hope you can give me some advice

    One night, I meet girl in the pub, we chatting all night and then she give me her number then for a while later, her friend asked me to go to her friends house for more drinking with them when the pub closed. So I went there, when we arrived there, the rest of friends went into the house quickly but this girl and I were walking down by slow cos of a lot of good chatting and but suddenly, she start kisses me. after this, we went into the house. she looks jealous when I chats other girl of my friend. I left after few hours staying there, because of have to get up in the morning.

    Next day, I texted her and said ‘its really nice to meet ya last night’ then no response. Then about 1 week later, I facebook messager her. Still no response……………..

    To be honest, I never understand this.

    What should i do?

  142. Joe says

    Hey Tony! nice blog you have here…

    Long story short.

    Went to a club and chatted up a really nice girl. After a couple of minutes she started grabbing my arm and mirroring my body language so i knew it was a score. So she ditched/left her girlfriend behind and took a cab home with me (She even paid for the cab… how awesome is that?) Anyways we went home and had sex, and a couple of hours later she took a cab home because she had to go to work. On the way out she gave me her number (I didn’t ask for it) and she said to call her the next day for another round at her place…

    My last booty call sort of ditched me so i am in the process of establishing a new one…

    I usually never call them back, but i figured it couldn’t hurt this time. She was after all the one who said that we should see each other again.
    So that is what i did. I called her the next day but she didn’t answer. Two days later, i dropped her a text and she didn’t answer.

    I’m guessing it’s a lost cause?

    • Tony D says

      Text her repeatedly with long form prose until she’s forced to tell you to fuck off, because she has a boyfriend.

  143. Spencer says

    What do I do? I have known this girl for awhile, but only recently started hanging out with her. This is mainly due to the fact that she has a long distance boyfriend (Turkey to Texas) who she realizes is not gonna work out. She texted me Friday and Saturday nights this weekend and we hung on Saturday and ended up hooking up and she stayed over. I then sent her a text in the morning saying that I had a fun time and maybe we could kick it again sometime soon. Its been a day and a half and I haven’t gotten a response. Is that a good or a bad sign? Could she just be busy, or thinking through if she wants to continue her long distance relationship? Let me know whenever you can!

    • Tony D says

      A day and a half and no-reply!!!?? From a girl you’ve known for a long time!””

      Chill man. It’s obvious, you care too much.

      Go out. Get a drink with friends. Meet more girls.

      Always the same advice.

  144. Jay D says

    I recently met this girl through a friend’s fiancee. The four of us (my friend, his fiancee and her friend) spent a good 3 hours playing bar games and just having a good time. Not drinking much at all. About half way through the night, my buddy asked me what I thought of his fiancee’s friend while the girls were in the bathroom. My buddy’s fiancee walked up while we were having this conversation and she chimed in saying that her friend was not planning on staying out, and that she thought this girl was hanging out because I was there. At the end of the night, I asked the girl for her number, didn’t get it at that moment, instead she asked me if I wanted to walk her to her car. She gave me a ride to my car, told me (without me asking) that she had a good time, and I got her number.

    A few days later, I left her what I thought was a horrible, game ending voice mail inviting her to a concert. To my surprise, she texted me back, asking what kind of music it was. I told her and asked if she was intrigued. She said she was defiantly intrigued and asked if that was what I was doing. I replied saying “yeah, thats the plan, I’ll give you a ride and I happen to have an extra ticket”. She said she already had plans with friends and was sketched out about driving to the concert in the snow, but that I should let her know how it was.

    I didn’t end up going. Not JUST because she didn’t go, but the roads were really bad, and also because I didn’t know ANYONE who was going. So I txted her saying “I didn’t end up going because of the weather. Sounds like its girls night but I would like to see you. Maybe we can meet up?”

    I have not heard from her since. That was 5 days ago. My question isn’t so much why won’t she txt me back. My question is does it sound like I should try txting her again, or just wait for her still? Maybe I am giving up too easily. Women want to be seduced, right? I prescribe to the whole natural game thing and it sounds like you do too, at least a bit. Every women wants to be in a love story.. So how do I know when to give up or when to pursue her? Or maybe I got too excited about her, because her friend telling me that she thought she was hanging out that night because of me, and her asking me to walk her to her car and whatnot also got my hopes up, perhaps unrealistically and I should just forget the whole thing.

    • Tony D says

      Yeah five days is a little bit. I’m sure she wants to see you dude. Text or even better, call her. Get her on the phone and set up a solid date night. Movie at your place or something. See if she’s really into you or not.

      • Jay D says

        Tony, thanks for your responses. Its really cool you do that on here. Many “gurus” don’t do that. I have read a few of your articles and lots of what you have to say seems to click with me. It would seem that your style is more down to earth, and about being yourself, then about specific methods and routines. I like that! It would also seem that your material is less misogynistic then a lot of what is out there, which is great. Anyway, about this situation:

        Well I suppose she isn’t interested. I called her, she didn’t even know who called, but she answered and it took her a second to remember me. I asked her if she wanted to grab some food this weekend. She paused, said she had work late on Friday, then said she would love to but (with some awkward fumbling pauses) asked me if she could text me with a time that worked for me. Not expecting to hear back from her, I said of course. A few minutes after I hung up, I thought of a good line I could use for next time. After she asked me if it is okay if she texts me, I wish I would have said “well carrier pidgin is better, but I guess you can text me.” At least she would have been laughing a little instead of just having a run of the mill, logistics conversation.

        Anyway I tried to make some more conversation with her but she was in a hurry to get off the phone (I could hear a lot going on in the background). Oh well, guess thats more motivation for me to go work out, get in better shape, and talk to other girls (although I do not give myself many opportunities to do so, socially I am pretty closed and shy). Thanks for your advice, hopefully I can get myself unstuck!

  145. John says

    I started developing a pretty big crush on this girl from school. It was sort of impossible to ever talk in that class but we’d always look at each other and smile. I asked her out a couple months ago. She said yes and we went for coffee. At some point she admitted to me that she’s really bad with her phone (usually texts the day after). We’re also both slightly introverted if that helps at all. Anyway coffee turned out really nice and she gave me a big hug at the end and we made plans to meet up again after we both got back from holiday.

    Almost a month later I text her asking if she wants to meet up, no reply. I give it a day or two and text her again. She replies that she lost track and she’s trying to work things out with her ex so if I’m after something romantic, then she’ll have to decline. But went on to say, but I like your company so if you want to hang out and enjoy a conversation I’m down. She then invited me to this event at a restaurant/bar with some of her friends who were mostly all girls, a few dudes. I thought we had a good time…we sat together at the table most of the time, she asked me a bunch of questions, trying to get to know each other more. At one point it came up that I drove out like 20 minutes to get there, and she said something like aw you drove all that way to see lil ol’ me? I pretty much said yes and she smiled and said that’s sweet, that’s really endearing.. At the end of the night she asked if I wanted to walk her and her friend back to her car. I did and we said our goodbyes and that we’ll see each other again, but no definitive plans.

    4 days later I invite her to trivia night later that week with some of my friends. No reply. A week and a half after that (today) I text her again just asking how she is. No reply again. She’s terrible with her phone, but this kinda seems a bit much. Just wondering what I should do if she doesn’t respond again this time. She seems warm and interested when we hang out but her aloofness over text, or lack thereof, is just leaving me kinda confused.

    • Tony D says

      It sounds like she’s being a bit distant because your reek of neediness and desire. Read “Double your dating” by David Deangelo, go meet more women, and never text her again until she contacts you.

      • John says

        Ok I’ll check that out. But I thought I was playing it slow as hell, especially compared to other girls, and the fact that our communication has been literally only 35 texts back and forth for a couple months now.

  146. Bobby Orr says

    Eh tony seeing as you see both sides (persistence and let them come to you) I’ll give your advice a shot
    Long story short a buddy lined me up with a girl who knows of me (same previous school however she’s older) she responded with moderate interest so the following day I messaged her leaving her my number of course, no response
    I think she would be good for me and well I could at least rase her bar for future guys
    But for the present I’d like to at least get a date outa her. Any advice ?

  147. soeone says

    so i like this girl we have being talking not so much but good to say hi and bye i dont know if she interest in to me or not but i ask her for her number and she give it to me but know i txt her and she didnt replay i send her 4 msg and after that i stop cause i watch this and yea i never date her or something special i like her but if not worth my time or somehting like da tell me something tony and am in high school and am freshman and yea tell me something tony

    • Tony D says

      I refuse to answer this until you add proper grammar. If you are from the third world I’m sorry and will make an exception.

  148. Bradley R says

    I’m confused with this girl – I really like her and she’s definitely aware of it. I met this girl through one of my good female friends. This particular group of girls love hanging out with me and my guy friends whenever they’re all in town because most of them all live 40 miles away – and we usually all go out maybe once every 4 months as a group. Back in August the girl I like, finally broke up with her bf of 2 years. I thought to myself perfect timing cause it was my female’s friends birthday the following weekend. So that night she loved seeing me but you can tell she was still heartbroken. At the end of the night I made the mistake of asking her out and she said “no I just broke up with my bf”. From that day on, I felt like I messed up so I dropped her from my life. Deleted her number and moved on. Earlier this month I got a text out of nowhere asking if she can come work a 5 day music festival with me and my female friend, and to also invite me to her bday dinner. I gave her the okay for the festival but hesitated to accept the invitation to the bday dinner. I told her I couldn’t make the bday dinner because of plans but she insisted on changing the date to a Saturday instead of Friday, so I now felt obligated to go after asking me if I can make it given the change of date. I ended up going to the bday dinner and she complimented how nice I looked upon seeing me. She seemed to be flirting with me more than I was ever used to. We were drinking so that could have been a reason why but she also mentioned how she wanted me to be her date for that night given that all of her girl friends had boyfriends at that dinner. As the night went on, all of us drank more, and ended up going into town after dinner. I felt like the world was cockblocking me the whole time, she ran into old guy friends, my friend got in a fight, and I ran into a bunch of girls I’ve dated in the past. It was a mess. At the end of the night we took all the girl (who were at the dinner) back up to my buddies house at which point I was really drunk – while at my buddies I tried making a move by wanting to sleep next to her but she totally rejected me, so I stormed out of the house and took a cab home. The next day I apologized for my behavior. She accepted the apology, said she wasn’t mad at all. I later texted her how I want to see her before she leaves town and she never responded. Im going to be stuck with her for 5 days at this festival in a couple of weeks and I have no idea how to act and handle myself following that night and my feelings for her if you have any advice to share. Thank you! Sorry it’s so long.

    • Tony D says

      Hot girls are just a pain in the ass aren’t they? Remain slightly aloof. Play push pull. Utilize some game. Make her jealous. And always be escalating. Sorry man. I can’t decide for you. You have to get her alone. That’s a fact.

  149. says

    hey tony

    i met a girl on facebook and the conversation was going smoothly then after that she stop replying to my messages dont know why?

  150. Alexander maritime says

    So Tony, I’ve gone on plenty of dates, I’ve never had an issue picking cute to even hot girls. I just haven’t run into a girl in a long time in which I feel she is playing the game like me.

    So I took this gorgeous model ,who was on that show with Tara Banks and everything, to drinks in the city . It was amazing time , I did everything I usually do to make her laugh, be charmed, and was even able to get her to kiss me. Throughout the date, she wanted to keep making plans for future dates and times to hang out, in which I would just agree too casually. Second date, we got food and brought everything to her place which after a while of getting to know each other, started fooling around and did everything but have sex, in which I should have, but don’t know to this day why I didn’t keep going. She told me all these personal things about how I made her feel nervous and nonsense. Third time is where it gets tricky, she was supposed to come to see me in my neighborhood, she felt like it would take her too long where she listened to her friends, in which they told her to just tell me to come all the way back to city to see her instead which I hesitantly did. Now I may have done things a little too soon by treating her as if it were a relationship by getting her favorite dessert for her when I went to see her. Later while we’re hanging out, I can just tell she’s not acting the same which turns out she is on her period, so we end up going out to get coffee , play pool at her bottom floor of condo, but I may have put myself out there too soon by acting silly and being myself to make her smile, which I see now as trying to hard. Mind you throughout this whole time, she is 24 and I am 21 and she would feel embarrassed if her friends found that out. Her friends made plans to see her that night, so I left before all her model friends came over in which we made plans to see each other in the morning. Next morning I texted, no response and no show, so I didn’t get in contact till Tuesday Tuesday night where I called and left a text to let her know something she wanted me to find out for her and still again no response or text back. I haven’t gotten or tried to get in contact ever since ,as I too have played this game of not responding to girls if not that interested anymore. Do you think I should shoot one more last text or get in contact last time or just forget about her, because I really now want to try to get with her?

  151. Alexander maritime says

    Alexander maritime March 27, 2014 at 9:51 pm
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    So Tony, I’ve gone on plenty of dates, I’ve never had an issue picking cute to even hot girls. I just haven’t run into a girl in a long time in which I feel she is playing the game like me.

    So I took this gorgeous model ,who was on that show with Tara Banks and everything, to drinks in the city . It was amazing time , I did everything I usually do to make her laugh, be charmed, and was even able to get her to kiss me. Throughout the date, she wanted to keep making plans for future dates and times to hang out, in which I would just agree too casually. Second date, we got food and brought everything to her place which after a while of getting to know each other, started fooling around and did everything but have sex, in which I should have, but don’t know to this day why I didn’t keep going. She told me all these personal things about how I made her feel nervous and nonsense. Third time is where it gets tricky, she was supposed to come to see me in my neighborhood, she felt like it would take her too long where she listened to her friends, in which they told her to just tell me to come all the way back to city to see her instead which I hesitantly did. Now I may have done things a little too soon by treating her as if it were a relationship by getting her favorite dessert for her when I went to see her. Later while we’re hanging out, I can just tell she’s not acting the same which turns out she is on her period, so we end up going out to get coffee , play pool at her bottom floor of condo, but I may have put myself out there too soon by acting silly and being myself to make her smile, which I see now as trying to hard. Mind you throughout this whole time, she is 24 and I am 21 and she would feel embarrassed if her friends found that out. Her friends made plans to see her that night, so I left before all her model friends came over in which we made plans to see each other in the morning. Next morning I texted, no response and no show, so I didn’t get in contact till Tuesday Tuesday night where I called and left a text to let her know something she wanted me to find out for her and still again no response or text back. I haven’t gotten or tried to get in contact ever since ,as I too have played this game of not responding to girls if not that interested anymore.
    Do you think I should shoot one more last text or get in contact last time or just forget about her, because I really now want to try to get with her? If so, how would you approach situation

  152. James L says

    Hey Tony I am having an issue with a girl. I met her at a local restaurant and waited until she finished eating to talk to her and I let her know that, so in her head I would come off as a guy that respects women. We talked for a bit, and I asked her how old she was, then she told me 19. I’m 18 turning 19. Then I asked her does she date guys younger than her and she just gave off a cute little laugh. When she stood up to go she hugged me first. We then walk to the train station and I ask her does she have a boyfriend, she smiles, laughs a little and says “I didn’t say I had one.” So we com continue taking and I ask for her numbe, and which she did give it to me. Her phone was dead but i text her my name and where we met. She tells me that she and three of her friends are going to Ohio too go camping for the weekend, which does sound believable. While we both waited for our trains to come mine came first. So I told her it was nice meeting her and maybe we can hang out sometime. She smiled and said “ok maybe”. I think I had missed up right there because u should have waited for her to get on the train first then get on mine afterwards. I didn’t receive a text back from her the same day but I didn’t text her either except from the first time. Then the next day I text her saying good morning. And twenty minutes later she responded saying “who is this?” So I told her who I was and she replied much quicker saying “I’m sorry James I didn’t save your number. ” I waited about 15 minutes to text her and said it’s okay. What did you have planned for today? She tells me that she was on the road to Ohio. I didn’t reply for a few hours. But I did say I hope you enjoy yourself and stay safe. She didn’t respond at all that day or the next day. I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t text her while she’s having fun with her friends. But I also want her to know that I am thinking about her. Is she not texting me because she’s having a lot of fun and don’t want to talk to anyone in the phone or what could be going on. I don’t want to come off as needy to her. Thanks for all the help.

    • Tony D says

      This is a blog that teaches men how to have sexual abundance. At work I approach about five or six women a day, and collect about five or six phone numbers a month. About 90% of these women never meet me. Your answer is the same as all the others, learn game, meet more girls.

  153. diego123 says

    here is my situation. I have known this girl I met online and haven’t seen her in person. we have only talked on the phone and texted many times. at first I was the one that acted cool and she got into me. and when I got into her It was great and than we stopped and I respected her. but than after a few months she called me and we talked and we got back into thing. now, know this, I have not seen her in person. we texted many times…even talked on the phone many times. she is a single mom of a teenager. I never call her cause she doesn’t have a cellphone as she says in her name. she just has her work cellphone. I have respected that to this day. now and it might be silly but we have even gone to the extent on saying love to each other. and again still haven’t seen her. we plan on meeting in a few weeks, but for the past week she has not responded to a single text or email message. and she has done this a few times and than it has gotten better. at least as my point of view. but this is the longest and it was strange. the day be fore the last day we texted she was very loving and caring. than the following day it was so cold. and since than for about more than a week which has been the longest, not response whatsoever. and I have said, good morning lovingly, have a good lunch lovingly and have a good night lovingly. but nothing. I don’t know what to do. I am sure I have made some mistakes even during this online relationship. now just so you know, she lives up north and I live down south in another state. she plans on coming to the state I live in, but in two years and she thinks its too much to have a relationship and not be with each other, but than she has forgotten than and we were in nice conversations. now, she does not like anyone from what she says where she lives at up north and just wants to be in the state I live in. but now this is happening and is tired of being alone at the same time as she has told me even though she does not want anything to do with anyone up north.

    what do I do. should I keep texting and emailing her back. now I still find it like hard to deal with not being able to call her. she said she doesn’t have a personal phone since her last relationship about a few years ago. so she decided to not have one and just rely on the work phone to call.

    what should I do? I know I sound desperate Tony.
    I want you to lay it on me as is, cause I need to know exactly what to do. I am honestly in desperation mode.

    thanks for your patience Tony.

    • Tony D says

      Wow man. You’re really needy. Can’t you go on Ok Cupid, or go to the mall and approach women until you find a date. I don’t want to sound like a jerk, but you have oneitis for a woman you haven’t even met. It reeks of desperation and is embarassing. Your ancestors used to hunt animals with spears and slay their enemies with fury. And you cry on the Internet about a woman you’ve never met.

      Get game. Learn to approach women and forget this girl.

      • diego123 says

        actually i needed that comment. and you are true. i will forget about this girl. i just really need to get a life and be true to myself and respect myself some more. believe it or not. this is therapy and it did help. thanks tony. if ever i have another comment i will definitely know where to go. keep up your blog bro.


  154. Danny says

    Hey Tony need a bit of help,

    So the other day I met this girl who I haven’t seen for about 11 years (since we were 10). We talked in the store for about 30 mins and she asked for my number – I send her a text in the evening and she replies the next day apologizing for the late response and saying it was lovely to see me, she also tells me if I have any questions about University or whatever to text her and she’ll be happy to help.

    I text her about an hour later and she responds in the night with a huge essay of a text. She then sends two more and asks me a question (to keep conversation going?).

    I reply the next day and she comes back in the evening again, sounding impressed about what I told her about my job and encouraging me about stuff.

    Whenever I text her she texts back hours later in the evening/night, she always apologizes for her late responses (I told her there’s no need to apologize, and that she should just chill), and she always sends huge texts back (her texts are filled smiley faces, exclamation marks and “Hahah’s”.)

    I got the courage to ask her out and she said, “Her assignments finish in May and we should do something then”. Is this a good sign?

    I seem to make her laugh a lot, in one text she said (about my previous text), “OMG, the way that actually made me laugh out loud! Haha”

    I always have to initiate the conversations (although she kind of initiated the whole thing by asking for my number), I think she studies a lot that’s why she replies so late – do you reckon she’s into me or not? I know she used to like me when we were kids (she actually asked me t be her bf once, can’t remember what I said lol).

    Any help would be much appreciated, thanks.

  155. Jax says

    There is this girl I hung out with while i was on a trip in New York. We knew each other for a year before the trip but found out we were both going to be in NYC at the same time so we kicked it (when we first met she told me she was attracted to me) but the whole time we were reunited she never mentioned it. (She lives in another country) May sound corny but.. we didnt have sex; we watched movies and laid in bed together and talked and laughed the whole time. We also had dinner and breakfast a few times. Hours after going our separate ways she text me and tells me she misses me. I reply and she replies..so on and so on and so on.. that conversation was that was 3 weeks ago. Shes in her country now. Just last week she said we should ‘run away to NYC together’ Though slow I felt great about how everything was progressing. In that same conversation I text her referencing a joke we had and she doesn’t respond.

    What in the hell does this mean?

    PS Im 18 shes 20

    • says

      Hey there, Jax. Sounds like a wonderful story there! I’m glad that you met a girl and you had such fun times with her! But what the hell makes you write “we didn’t have sex”? Of course you didn’t have sex, silly! Sex is for thirsty perverts. YOU, and HER are so much better than that! When you really love someone, prove it by not needing and not wanting sex!

  156. rico says

    So I met this girl at my job and I was putting her items in the car. Then we was talking outside a little bit and I ask her what’s your name? She told me her name and I ask her can I get your number? She gave it to me. I didn’t want to have a full blown conservation on the job one and two she park her car by the security camera. The next day I text her What’s up she didn’t respond back. What am I doing wrong?

  157. Brandon says

    Ok so tony I am 23 6 foot 2 200 lbs I was in the army for 4 years im in shape I work I drive and I go to school full time. I never had alot of success with actually hot girls. Ive had alot of girlfriends decently attractive a couple attractive one night stands. Thats all fine and dandy but I look around while im driving and see these ridiculiusly hot females with med who just dont look like they should be together. It confuses me on what im doing wrong. Since I work and go to school I usually have to talk to people using facebook but yet they never reply I always msg them once every couple days till I send a third message thrn I give up I dont know what im doing wrong here im not creepy I usually just say hey whats up or whats goin on im a decnt looking guy and im not a bumb can u help me out here smh

  158. J says

    So I’ve been talking to this girl for a few years now. We’ve hung out a few times, but she lives in a different state. Recently she just moved to the state I’m in, she came and hung out with me and my friends, and we went fishing all night. Then she came and hung out with me the next day. All was going well, we know each other pretty well so we text a bit and joke around a lot through text. I’m pretty good on my
    Text game and a lot of my friends will come to me on what they should say through text etc… So it’s kinda pointless asking this because I already know what I’ve done wrong. But thought I might as well ask incase I’ve missed something. Long story short we planed to hang out on the coming Friday and she seemed really keen, she said are you free all of Friday. I replied yes I should be because it’s my day off (big no no already, I realized that. Made myself too available) shes also not working at the moment because she just moved up here, and I said I know you don’t work, so yer haha) pretty much exact words I wrote. I screwed myself, I realize this. I was half asleep, had a long day at work. I know that’s not an excuse, so I screwed myself twice on one text. IDIOT!!! How can I recover myself? That’s all I want to know. I text her today, but late in the Arvo so 24 hours after my last text, I know that’s the rule and I abide by it. It was a little friendly hello in a funny way. No text yet, and I’m not planning on texting her for a few days. HOW!!! Do I recover myself, from that slip up? Thanks!!

  159. says

    SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I’m not trying to have sex with anyone, you pervert! I’m sitting here wondering why this sweet and wonderful girl that I am in love with hasn’t texted me back in several days, and it’s not the first time that had happened. (She never seems to give me an explanasion)

    So i googled this, and found this article, and innocently began reading it through… WTF do you think I am trying to do? You know, not all girls are sex objects, and texting a girl is not only something you do to girls you’re trying to have sex with… This is serious business, and I’m not going to take advice from some pervert who knows nothing better than to try to get laid…

    I’m an innocent boy with a heart full of love, wondering why my crush is not responding. I did not come here to read about sex, you heartless monster…

    I think you deserve to read this: http://www.love-explained.weebly.com

  160. George says

    I started talking to this girl, we already knew eachother- but very little, we talked for a couple minutes and I gave her my number… She eventually texts me 3 days later say hey! So we talk for a little bit… Then 2 days goes by and I text her and we have a great conversation for a few hours; she seemed very interested,.. as the conversation went on I said that it’d be fun to play golf ( we’re both on the golf team ) , she said that it would be fun … So 3 days goes by again I text her, we have a short conversation…. Then 3 days pass I ask if she was excited for our school event… She says yes! … Then I said I was too and said that we should meet up this weekend.. She read my text and never got back to me… … Did I wait to too long to set up a time to meet up? I wait right?

    • Tony D says

      Your problem is not that you waited or didn’t wait. It’s that she’s your only option, and you care. Read my entire blog and all of my books. This will answer your question.

      • George says

        You say you shouldn’t care, I understand that. I did not come off as desperate… So how do you show you don’t care…….

        • Tony D says

          If she’s not texting you back, and you call her and she doesn’t answer, then she’s not very interested. It’s your job to go out, use your seduction skills, and meet new women. If you can’t do that, then you need to learn how.

          There is no magic line or spell to get her to text you back. Look at the other 300 comments on this blog post, and reread the blog post itself. This is a website that teaches men how to meet new women, not chase ones that aren’t replying to text messages. I’m sorry. She isn’t that into you. Go find a girl who is. Or, text her a pic of your dick perhaps.

  161. Sean Vivash says

    Hey Tony. I haven’t dated much and i need advice. I recently met up with this girl I met in a bar. She left that night really fast but i left my number with the bar man to give to her if he saw her again. So 2 weeks later she text me and we hit it off. We met up in town and had a really great night and then went back to her place to have sex. We spent most of the next day in bed so I naturally thought she liked me. I text her the next day but she never text back. I’ve even tried calling her but she wont answer. I know I’ll probably never see her again, but i just don’t understand why she blew me off. Any advice?

  162. John says

    Hey Tony,
    So I met this girl through a good friend of mine, we talked for about 4 days and then I asked her out, and we kissed, the following week she came over and we made out and stuff, then we went out again 4 days later and kissed again, its been a month since the last time a I saw her, I’m kinda trying to ask her out, but she made up some excuses about studying or having a busy weekend, I kinda dropped the ball for a week and then started to talking to her again, sometimes she responds nicely and sometimes she ignores me, what do you think I should do? really weird because everything was going great and suddenly it just went kinda bad.

  163. says

    Hi Tony, I’ll try to make this short and as painless as possible. I’m 42 and I met a girl that’s 29 and she has an 8 month old boy. I seen her for 4 days in a row and things were going very good. As usual, I asked to see her again the following day, and she said she would be busy. I said okay, I’ll just give u a txt and maybe a call, she said ok. I txt her that evening to say goodnight and I told her I’d shoot her a txt when I get up, that was the usual routine. Next morning I txt her and I didn’t get a response for hours. Note: she doesn’t work. All she said was sorry I was busy. So I txt her back rite away and she never responded. It took her several more hours to txt back and she only gave me a one sentence response. So since her busy day, I’ve txt her a shit load of times, some very lengthy, explaining how I feel about her, and how I’m not getting feedback so I know how she feels about me. So she tells me that her phone died and it’s been in the charger, and she not attached to her phone and that’s why she takes so long to respond. So I tell her, if your interested in someone, then you would be eager to hear from him, so that would mean that you would want to check ur phone to be excited if he was to contact you. She doesn’t fill me in about how she feels about me, and she leaves me hanging and wondering. She does not expressing herself to me and lacks communication, so I can get to know her. Because she lacks communication, I’m only left with assumptions. She didn’t like a few of my assuming txts. I apologized to her via txt. And I’ve sent her a few long texts that were very tasteful and full of positive info and that I care. I’ve teyes calling her and she doesn’t answer now. She’s txting me back occasionally but only one sentence answers. I think she still likes me, but she’s probably annoyed as hell. But I wouldn’t of txt her so much if she would of communicated from the get go. Advice please!!!! I don’t want to piss her off, I’m trying to kiss her ass. She has a hot body and I want that body bad.

  164. MountainMuse says

    Tony, you are a wizard! I have been wasting my time on “girl” websites trying to figure out men! This single site answered ALL my questions. And, you advice is spot on! As a woman who has lots of “dicks in orbit,” (LOL at the expression), I can promise that most men lack confidence and this, by far, is the biggest turn-off! The second biggest turn-off is men with a down-trodden, negative attitude about life. These are the types that after they bang you, now want you to play Dr. Freud to all their mommy issues. C’mon, men! We all know life is tough; but most, if not all, of my gay male friends are standing taller than you! Women dig men who dig them. Women dig men who make them laugh and LIGHTEN UP. Women dig men with specific plans. Women dig men who are NOT needy. Women dig men who respect women in the highest sense. Women dig men who want their minds as much as their bodies! Any questions?

    • Tony D says

      I love, love, love receiving emails from women who aren’t telling me what a bad man I am. Smart maiden wizards are my favourite people. I hope you study seduction and learn a lot about the psychology of humans, and improve your life by becoming the woman that great men desire.

    • Tony D says

      I always dig for a woman who has a great mind and a body. It’s hard though if you’re meeting them at night. Parties are for partying.

  165. Anderson says

    Tony, stumbled on your website whilst bored and searching google if the “I’ve suddenly become a leper” phenomena has afflicted anyone else out there (when suddenly ALL the girls you’ve got on the go don’t meet/reply/etc at the same time).

    Have to say some funny, but educational replies you’ve got here. I kinda hate you for killing an hour of my life reading them, but keep up the good work!

  166. Jakee says

    Thanks for this article. I was really anxious earlier today. I’m supposed to skype-chat with one of my best friends (who is taken so it’s not like that) and I was worried about why she hasn’t been responding. She saw my message I sent her in the morning and I sent her two more, one asking if we were still on, another asking to reschedule possibly since I’m going back home for the day. Another girl I was messaging stopped messaging me after she told me that it’s better to usually go home in the morning before we could set something up… she normally always replies to my messages. Though, she may take a while. So, I’m just going to wait until she gets back to me next. I sent her a time and we’ll see. She normally always replies. So, I’ll worry less and put it back in her court.

    As for my other friend, if she’s interested still in skyping me, I’m sure she will get back to me. I get really anxious sometimes when people don’t respond. Then, they end up responding in a day or so, and, I end up worrying over nothing. So, even if someone stops replying to me one day usually they end up replying a few days later.

    I guess I get worked up over nothing…

    • Tony D says

      Yeah man you just need to chill. Know what you want, and don’t take no shit from no reply girls. But also, be free. Meet more. Get more numbers so that you have an abundance of contacts. As a man, you need to approach and get numbers from many, many women.

  167. says

    Tony plzz help me…
    She is my ex nd 8 months ago we broke up , bt I love her , from 2 weeks we were chatting nd now ive askd her for her number nd she hadnt replied ..so plzz tell me what should I do to get her back ..nd yea before this 2 weaks we hadnt tok at ol . For 6 months … so any suggestions. ..if yes than plzz..tell.?

    • Tony D says

      How to get your ex back. This is a very common question.

      1. Go approach 100-200 more women
      2. Date and have sexual relations with more women. Maybe ten.
      3. Upload the pictures to Facebook or Instagram of you and pretty women.
      4. Ask her to come meet you for dinner and seduce her again.

      Another option. Get a new girlfriend from you pool of new options.

      Another option, ask her to meet you for dinner. Seduce her again.

  168. Tim says

    Hey Tony, I stumbled upon your website a few days ago and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your articles. I agree with virtually everything you’ve said regarding women and dating. You seem like a man who’s got it all figured out. Anyway allow me to break down my own situation…

    I’m 28 and have known a girl for 3 years. We met online in the summer of 2011. She’s 22. Unfortunately she lives in Georgia and I live in Oklahoma. We have never met yet I feel like I’ve fallen for her as absurd as that sounds. Even I find the notion ridiculous when I think about it but I can’t help but feeling how I feel. We used to talk quite often and have always gotten along incredibly well. She’s both intelligent and very attractive. However I would say in the last year or so communication with her has been sporadic. Around June 2014 we played around with the idea of me coming to visit her in Georgia and finally meeting up. I haven’t gone mainly because I feel like our communication just isn’t up to snuff yet she always reassures me nothing is wrong and she thinks about me all the time and so forth. Basically what happens is on a typical day she will text me with a greeting. I will reply to it. Then either she never replies until the next day or we exchange 3 or 4 texts before she abruptly leaves the conversation hanging, sometimes even after I ask a question and I don’t hear from her again until either the next day or several days later where she will just text “hey!” like nothing happened. it’s both baffling and irritating. We used to talk all the time now she just blows hot and cold. In a way I’m glad I didn’t go ahead and spend the money, time and energy to travel 900 miles to see someone who can hardly even reply to a text.

    Now I know you said texting should be limited to setting up a date/logistics but my situation is different. For one it’s long distance and two she isn’t a phone person and prefers to either text, facebook or email. However I feel fed up with her behavior. One moment we will be having a good conversation, flirting, talking dirty (we’ve even exchanged pics if you know what I mean) then the next moment she just disappears. I’m about ready to move on and forget about it. What do you suggest?

    (Btw I do date and sleep with other women in the meantime. It’s not like I’m hung up on just this girl and I have my life on hold for her. I still have fun and live life. I just really like her and she’s become important in my life)

  169. Jordan says

    Hey man I’ve really started to like this girl at my work I’ve always noticed her looking at me and we usually had good convo’s although she told me has no guys in her life and shes not really looking to invest into one right now cause of school. I told her I had a girlfriend and then she always asked me every week how are things going with her. So I broke up with her cause I really liked this girl and she told me she’ll be there for me if I need someone. I got her number shortly after that and I asked her the same night we should go out and grab a coffee sometime and she responded saying “when the time right cause i’m busy next couple of weeks with her girls b-day and family over for X-mas and she said so for sure once the time is right”. How do I take that? A good or bad sign. Textings pretty slow between us after that. I called her after and she never picked up both times she just texted she couldn’t talk cause she was driving and she just said goodnight and went to sleep. Should I just come out and say I like her a lot or wait till the date and bring that up. I do really like her thou. Help a brotha out man.

  170. HelpMe says

    Hey! Help me with this, as fast as possible!

    I’ve messaged the girl I’ve met at party. I’ve added her in facebook. I messaged her, next day at the evening. I said hey and so on. Then I invited her to go outside for some drink.

    So I messaged her when we talked for little.
    Let’s grab some drink or let’s take something to eat.
    She didn’t replied. You know you can see if she saw the post. She didn’t saw it . It would write SEEN at time. Maybe she is ignoring the post or what?

    Please let me know :)

  171. Andy says

    I’m so confused. I’ve been messaging this girl on tinder who is 100% my type. Everything was great, we were laughing, being sarcastic, getting to know each other.. then I said “you should give me your number so I can text you”. She replied with ” don’t tell me what I should do, I make my own decisions ;)”. So I replied and have received nothing back.. any thoughts of where I went wrong or something?

    • Tony D says

      It’s Tinder. You’re one of like, 300 guys a week that message her. She’s having a smorgasbord of attention. When she’s not talking to you, she’s talking to at least a dozen or more other guys. She’s getting messages right now from new guys. So many that your message has gone far, far, far down the line.

      Tinder is not for dating. It’s a female validation machine.

      Move on. Forget her. Go outside to a mall or bar and learn how to approach women.

  172. Luke says

    I have a dilemma you might be able to help me with. I ran into a girl I knew from high school and we started hanging out immediately after we reconnected. She is a good person and I like her and we have went on several dates which all ended up at her house. Then out of nowhere she stops responding to my text after we have had a great time with each other. I don’t really care if she doesn’t want to see me again and it was just a fling or whatever that’s cool in my book I will just go get another girlfriend no biggie. Here is where I have a problem. She isn’t responding to me but I left a jacket and some movies and other small things at her house and I want that stuff back. This is a delicate situation because I want my stuff back but I don’t want to be super straightforward because she will see that as me being a jerk. So can you suguest a plan for me to work my way back in with her via texting that will get me back over there to get my stuff and if possible salvage a relationship
    Thanks man

    • Tony D says

      Well I don’t know why she isn’t texting you back, but you want your stuff right? And she won’t answer your text messages?

      You know where she lives. She probably has roommates. Go to her house, knock on the door and say, “Hey. I need my stuff back.”

      • Luke says

        Yeah I am just going to go over there and get my stuff. I hate showing up somewhere uninvited but under the circumstances I must. It was a pretty obvious answer I easily should have thought of myself but thanks again man!

  173. El says

    Tony I have a question for you and this is a real challenge for you

    I see this girl every then and now and every time she starts to act weird.. well not that weird but she acts like she is shy, and look at me a lot, she plays with her hair …and every time she passes by she looks at me directly in the eye for so long.. i had a gf but such eye contact didn’t even happen with my gf..so I came to the conclusion that she likes me.. Actually, I believe that I have never seen a girl that looks at me that way and sooooo much.

    but as I see her rarely I couldn’t stand the presure to meet her and I sent her a message on facebook “when you’ll go out so I can meet you?” I have asked her..

    SEEN.. no response whatsoever

    Why ?

    • Tony D says

      You see her all the time and she gives you approach invitations, and then you say, “When will you go out so I can meet you?”

      She’s given you many chances. You didn’t take them.

  174. cj43e says

    Tony I was all worried about this girl not texting me back she’s like a freaking ten but I saw your site as I was looking for answers as to why and dude this really hit home why the hell should I care theres plenty of fish in the sea!

  175. cj43e says

    Hey tony I was looking for answers as to why this girl wasn’t texting me back she’s like a freaking ten but was playing games I found your site and thought yea exactly why should I care there’s a million fish in the sea… also is it weird to start a convo over fb Ive always wondered this

  176. Caleb C says

    I met this girl, and we texted for a day and a half and i proceeded to make plans with this girl. She is a girl who loves soccer, as do i and i asked her what she wanted to do, and she told me she wanted to go play soccer on a field alone. Upon arriving i helped her with her bags, and everything else and she was calling me a saint, how nice of a guy i was and it was hard to find someone like me. (Keep in mind this girl doesnt mind a casual date). We did our thing, went back to my place and sat next to eachother on the couch watching TV and having a generally good time. Everything went great, she told me she loved hanging out with me and wanted to do it soon. But, the thing i flawed was right before she left and i didnt hug her out of my own stupidity. She has been barely texting me since then and sometimes it is one text a day. I dont send more than one text at a time and im flirty but not easy. Did not hugging her set her off down the wrong road? What did i do wrong?

  177. BRUH says

    Theirs this really cute girl I like at school and she like gives me looks and stuff in the hallways but when i ask her out she says i am still thinking and then all of her friends say she said no. But then when i text her either she does not respond or she just says IDK.

    Tony what do I do.

    • Tony D says

      Dude. You can’t write a sentence with decent grammatical structure. Use capitols and periods. To answer your questions, maybe almost always means no. Her friends told you she is not interested. Move on with your life. Meet more girls. Learn how to write.

  178. Josh says

    Yo Tony, liked what you were selling. Need some advice, think you can help me out?
    SO, I was talking to this girl on tinder, made her laugh, got her number. Cool, texted her within 30 minutes to just say: hey this is my number, blah blah. She texts me back, I didn’t really want to talk, but didn’t want to be rude. So I played koi. After like 4 texts, found out she was working and then made a joke about how she better not get in trouble for texting me. No reply… Not going to text her back unless she texts me, but should I text her tomorrow or just let her come after me?

  179. says

    Yo tony, a lot of this seems to be right on point. But I do have some questios. First why do these girls go ham on texting for two or three day then just drop off the planet. I have been talking to this bad ass chick and I am sure she has multiple orbits of men, but after some good convos no respons. From my last text. Its not that o can’t go see other woman, but this one is one of those that your dont wanna let go. She works at a bar and I am wondering how would you approach her in this situation?

  180. Doug says

    Hey Tony, four years later and this article is still golden. Maybe you could help me out. So there was this girl that I liked and it was one of those awkward “I know who you are and you know who I am but we’ve never actually met” cases. We would only see each other on occasion and I had no idea when the next time I would see her would be so I messaged her on Facebook and ended it by giving her my number. She ended up texting later asking to get coffee with her. Since then we’ve gone on a couple dates and we just have this special click. I’ve told her that I’ve had a lot of fun with her and she tells me she has had fun too. Right now she’s busy with work and I get that but I want to get to know her better since we’ve pretty much just met. I asked her out a couple times since but we haven’t been able to find a good time. I sent her a text saying that I know she is busy with work but I’d really like to take her out again so I can get to know her better. I waited a week and no response. So I sent her a follow up a week later just saying hey hope everything is going okay and that I’d still like to take her out again. Well it’s been 3 days and still haven’t had any reply from her. I know it may sound like I’m jumping the gun since we’ve only hung out a couple times but there is definitely a spark there that I’ve never felt before and from the signs up until a week and a half ago I thought she felt the same way. And I’m not usually one to seek out advice from somebody I don’t even know, but hey nothing’s worked in the past, might as well try a fresh perspective. I haven’t even had a chance to screw anything up yet! She did say that this month is crazy for her so I’ll prolly just wait til the start of next month to text her again, but what are your thoughts?

    • Tony D says

      Well thank you. And I don’t know why she isn’t texting you back. But you sound so apologetic. Just send, “Do you want to see me or not?”

  181. says

    Yo man thanks so much for that i was heart broken but you know what if she doesn’t its ok ill just try to get over it sooner or later ty so much for that info it got me back up to my feet thanks

  182. Shank says

    Hey Tony, I got a weird situation going on. There is this girl who is texting me for about 2 months now. But every time I try to set up a date, she has something to do. I already deleted her contact from my phone like 3 times, but she keeps texting me back. I told her it’s not gonna work out if we don’t see each other, but she just keeps talking. I mean she is hot, I would love to sleep with her 😀 what do you think? Should I block her? Or should I try some new tactic?

    • Tony D says

      Well if you gave her an ultimatum and she won’t stop texting you, or meet you, then you must be either fulfilling some need like being her relationship counselor, or she’s attracted to you. I would suggest if she wishes to communicate with you, it has to be on the phone. Then you can try to seduce her with your voice. And set up a meet.

  183. Shank says

    Man your tricks work!!! 😀 I collected 5 phone numbers last night alone!!!!!!!!!! But yeah, fate has the last call. I lost my phone on the way back home. :/

  184. Jeff says

    Tony I have been texting this girl over the summer and she’s been flirting and using emojis and in person she acts like she likes me. But lately she hasn’t been responding she might say hey a couple minutes to a hour later but doesn’t text back after she’s really cute and I really like her. Any advice

    • Jeff says

      She also has had trouble with her phone not sending texts (I have pics for proof) but it’s been a while since that has happened to her

  185. Anon says

    Hey Tony, need your advise on this situation that I’m in.
    There is this Girl A I like, Girl B who is my friend. Girl A wanted to make a party at my place with her friend Girl C. I said okay (of course!!) and the party started off quite well. As soon as Girl B walked in, she gave me a friendly hug and a kiss, which Girl A saw. After that, nothing happened that night and the party got over. The next day, I asked Girl A on a sightseeing tour, and she came. She left early again, and didn’t even hug or kiss me. I have an instinct that says Girl A doesn’t like Girl B’s closeness with me, and every time, I somehow ended up showing Girl A just that. Now tell me, how to proceed with Girl A?

    P.S: There was something between Girl B and me, a long time ago. Could Girl A possibly have read that? That’s why she can’t trust me?

  186. Luis says

    I met a girl while I was on vacation with my friends. Due to my work I travel a lot. So I started dating her and at the very beggining it was awesome. We were going out very frequently dinner, movies, drinks, etc. So I invited her to my best friend’s wedding and we went there. That night I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said that she wasnt ready and that I was going away for almost 2 months (work). So I told her that I understood and didnt push it. That night we had sex and everything was perfect. 2 days after that I went out of the country but still we were texting very frequently. Then I came back for a weekend and we went to the movies. When I saw her she gave me a kiss on the cheek and from that moment on I knew something was off. That evening I didnt feel comfortable at all and probably she wasnt as well. After that I left again and still we were texting but not with the same frequency as before. When I came back she stopped texting me at all. I sent a couple of msgs she replied but she was distant and now she is not texting me at all. On Friday Im going to a friend’s party and Im pretty sure she will be there. What should I do?

    • Tony D says

      That sucks man. It’s obvious you care for this girl. Since I don’t know the nuances of your relationship it is hard to advise you there. But at this party, here’s what you do, and it’s totally based on her behaviour. You do not go, “Why aren’t you texting me back?” The chances are, she’s seeing someone else. So, be ready for that, and don’t act jealous if he’s there. If he is, you introduce yourself, be polite. What you then do is flirt with every hot girl at that party. Get phone numbers, get makeouts. The hotter the girls you flirt with the better. And hopefully she see’s you doing well. Nothing will spark a girl’s interest more than seeing other girls being attracted to the guy she used to be with.

  187. Wilson says

    Hey Tony,

    I need help. Right now I’m in a situation where I just have hope. I was seeing this girl for about 6 or 7 months. We had ups and downs, but at the end we were clicking in everything. We traveled to Boston together and from there we got really close, but then after she began to shut me down. I didnt realize the answer after a few days that after Boston she thought I was expecting something more from her and she could not provide that. From there I told her that I would still like to be friends, but she kept pushing the situation and was asking are you sure. So from there we chatted and I explained the situation and at the end I told her I would still like to be friends, but she ended with I guess you have to find a new friend because I dont want to be friends with you. I understand and will eventually move on, but there is some hope left that she will text me back. I just need advice on what I should do because she was something I never expected myself to get but did and it just sucked that I lost her.

  188. Ben says

    Hey Tony, hoping you can give me some insight here since you seem to know your stuff here.

    I met this girl online a few weeks ago and we really hit if off- long initial messages back and forth about getting to know each other’s background along with some light hearted jokes. I get her number and we start texting normal convos back and forth each day. We also talked on the phone and she even drunk called me saying she thinks I’m a really nice guy and likes me. We’re long distance (Chi and NYC), so later that week we decide I should go visit her in NYC. We planned out a trip and everything (I’m not staying with her because she came out and said she’t not comfortable yet which is legit). But now it seems like everything has changed about a week after we planned this trip- all her texts are 2-4 word replies and totally kill the convo. I called her out on it after about a week of it and asked is something wrong. She said no and that she’s just busy. But the thing ALL of her texts are like that now. I’ll get a “haha” or some other super short convo killing reply 6-10 hours later. I guess I should just back off completely and not text her at all until she does? I’m nervous to do that because I invested in coming to see this chick and I feel like she’s either freaked herself out by planning all this, lost interest, or just playing games with me. We also talk on the phone time to time, but she’s really quiet a lot of times and doesnt keep the convo flowing well at all. She’s pretty hot and I’m interested but this stuff is annoying the hell out of me. Any advice? Thanks man.

  189. Chris says

    Great advice. I have a question tho.. Say she doesn’t text you back for hours and you’re staying busy but since a cell phones on you’re hip you see her text back how long do you wait to text back. (To show her you aren’t revolving around her.) And if you text back within 5 min after hours and then she waits like a half hour to an hour to respond again.

  190. Alessandro severi says

    Hi tony

    So I’ve been texting with this girl for a few months now.
    A month ago she broke up with her boyfriend, we still texted a lot after that.
    We even set up a date 2 weeks ago.
    But she could get there in time, so she said next time she will come.
    We just started talking after that not setting up a second date.
    But sinds a few day’s now she won’t even read my Facebook messages.
    Then I texted her because she still has my camera, and my friend needs it.
    But still no replay, it’s almost has been a week now sinds I last heard from her.
    She has a few test for school in 2 weeks, so maybe hats the reason, but she is always on Facebook so I really don’t know.
    What should I do ? I really like this girl, and thought she liked me to…
    Some of my friends even told me she probably liked me.

  191. says

    hey so I’ve been seeing this girl for a week so far. When we are together she seems very interested in me . I sometimes think when I am with her she gives me hints that she wants to have sex but I don’t want to get a slap in the face and ruin things when we are together. I told her I respect her and I don’t want to do anything that would jeopardize what we have together . When we text she leaves me very boring replies . I don’t get it I am extremely fit and good looking I don’t understand why this is happening to me because now she’s not answering my texts . I want to know what to say to this girl so she can reply back to me . Thanks if you respond back

  192. Mike says

    Tony, so I met this hot ass chick few days ago and got her number. Texted her for the first time the other night, said that I think she’s pretty cool, she said the same bout me. I was the last text of the convo saying we should hang out again some time, since that no text back. Should I just wait or text her again saying she’s pretty or some shit? This girls different…feel like she plays hard to get.

  193. says

    Very good advise, Ty. Hope it’s not to late!!
    I had txt today and said goodmorning, I haven’t had a response yet.
    Tonight I will txt her goodnight, hope your day with you kids was nice.
    I’m thinking about repeating the same thing 2maro.
    When should I call her, or shouldn’t I ?

  194. says

    Nope lol. I’m the opposite. 6,2 average build and somewhat thinning and receding. It’s not about the looks or she wouldn’t of agreed to see me repeatedy after the first date.


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