How To Be A Dating Coach
(This is a guide on, how to become a Men’s Dating Coach. That means men teaching men how to charm, seduce, entice, pick up, date and relationship up/pair bond with women. There are also women’s dating coaches but this article is for men who wish to learn how to become a dating coach for men.)
I’ve got plenty of guys that tell me they want to be a dating coach. I’ll usually look at them and say, “I’m sorry.” That’s an old joke I picked up from a writer friend of mine when he heard I was a writer as well.
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” He would say. And then we’d laugh. Or sometimes he would say, “I don`t want to hear your problems.”
I didn’t choose this job. This job chose me.
When I was a journalist people would always ask me, “Oh, did you go to school for that?” I would blink a few times, wipe my nose with my arm, look at the sun, feel the wind blowing across my face…and after an epic long pause finally say,
“No.”
I learned this whole seduction thing the same way I learned to write, play the guitar, steal bicycles: I practiced.
Still I’ve got guys asking me how to be a dating coach. I’ll be honest; it’s not a get rich gig. It’s a tough, demanding job that requires good work ethic. It doesn’t bring you much status, especially not with women or the straighter members of society. You won’t be invited to many gala events. Honestly, I don’t even tell people about my job. On the rare occasions that I do, I get reactions like this:
“Oh…so you’re like a pimp?”
“Really?”
“Pick me up.”
“That’s weird.”
“Are you doing it right now?”
“Cool!!!!”
“Haha. Yeah right. Really?”
“Like Hitch?”
“Have you read the Game?”
Often people will grab me and drag me around to meet their friends, “This is Tony. Dude…he’s a dating coach. He teaches pickup!” Around this time girls start twirling their hair or sneering and men get uncomfortable and squeeze their women a little tighter. I suppose they should. After all, I teach men how to get laid.
So just a warning. This job is very unusual and once people find out what you do they won’t ever look at you the same. All those nights you used to go out with friends to socialize where you might just casually chat up some girls will now be brutally scrutinized. Every time you approach a girl you’ll have a fan club.
Some people will think you are a creepy weirdo, and some men will worship you like a slutty deity. This odd social pressure causes many potential coaches to opt out early in the coaching game.
I’m in my thirties. So the idea of running around bars and clubs when I’m 43 is frightening. I’ll probably move into self-help or Internet Marketing. Consider your age.
So anyway, what’s the first step to becoming a dating coach?
Step one: Learn how to pick up hotties.
This will take a few years of dedicated practice. I don’t personally know of any coaches that have less than three years hardcore experience. I’m talking going out 5-7 days/nights a week, and approaching thousands of women. I’m sorry. But if you aren’t really, really good at approaching and picking up women you will never be a world class dating coach. And you don’t want to be a mediocre dating coach–you won’t make any money. Mediocre dating coaches get mediocre reviews. If you’ve noticed my reviews are consistently awesome. That’s because I’m awesome.
Step two: Learn to write.
Having the ability to write engaging prose, how-to’s and step by step guides is almost as important as knowing how to pick up. EBooks and blogs will help you to market your service. Soon, like myself, your superb writing skills will endow you with legions of rabid fans. I don’t even need to approach women anymore. My readers offer me their girlfriends. It’s cool. (Dating coaches are also rewarded for being funny and/or weird/eccentric.)
Step three: Public Speaking.
Free and paid seminars are incredibly effective marketing tools. Dating coaches are charmers; so basically, you learn to run game on eager consumers. Develop your seminars into a one man comedy act for men, or go full Tony Robbins. Develop your persona and expand your influence. Then you can tour the world with your seduction show.
Now you are ready to be a dating coach?
Well, not exactly.
With those three skills you will be able to run your business. You can still run a company if you contract out to other skillsets. Like, say you can’t write at all…hire a writer off an auction site like Elance. Unfortunately good writers can get expensive, and if you are just starting out your profit margin will be low. My advice, learn all the skills through practice.
If you really can’t write, but excel on camera, try a video blog. Or you could record your speeches at seminars and have them transcribed for cheap.
So now you’ve learned game, you can write well, and you have spoken in front of large groups of men. You now know how to be a dating coach. Unfortunately this doesn’t mean you can teach. You probably want to be a good dating coach, and not some gimmicky, fake seduction guru.
I’ve been practicing picking up girls for about six years. One and a half of those I was in a monogamous relationship and I’ve been teaching professionally for three. I specialize in day game, night game, inner game and relationship management. I consider myself pretty well rounded. I offer my clients a full money back guarantee. And I am not rich. I haven’t had any guy ask for a refund and have never had a bad review because I work my butt off. Plus I really can’t afford to give back the tuition so the fear of refund keeps me focused.
I learned the hard way, without any professional training. I learned how to seduce women through trial and error. Yeah…I don’t recommend it. If you want to know how to be a dating coach, my best advice is to hire a dating coach. Invest the money in a well-respected, well reviewed and experienced pickup or dating instructor. Get your training and then practice, practice, practice.
Hiring a professional dating coach will give you the quickest path to mastery with approaching women. He will point out your deficiencies and blind spots. You will also learn how a pro teaches his programs. Some companies even make students sign a waiver promising they won’t teach the same coaching methods to their students.
If you’ve done the work, learned how to pickup, gained real experience with women and mastered all of your marketing skills, you should be ready to start your own dating coach company. But here’s the ultimate question:
Can You Teach?
Some people just can’t. My advice is put out an ad offering free coaching in exchange for reviews. That’s what I did. I just helped guys for karma. I was pretty good at it. And now years later, I’m awesome at it. That’s that.
How much will it cost to get started?
That depends. Do you want a massive company with a legion of coaches that tour the world? Or a small part time thing in your own city? Maybe you want to be a pickup celebrity that charges up to $250 an hour for private seduction coaching. Maybe you want to be a coach that only gives advice over the phone. Or maybe you want to specialize in ….cough, ughh, online dating.
You’ll need a computer, some decent clothes and money for cover to clubs. You can easily start a pick up artist company for $500. When I started I had nothing but my laptop a small wardrobe.
I bet you really want to know how much money does a dating coach make? When I first started teaching I did it for free. I did it for the love. I knew that teaching others would help me improve myself. Then I started asking for $50 a day. A year later I posted an ad for a $600 bootcamp on the local men’s group forums. I had eight men sign up! I now offer my main bootcamp for $1000. It’s about 16 hours of work and well worth the money. $1000 is a very reasonable price for a skill you will have for the rest of your life.
As your reputation grows, so do your earnings.
I know some gurus that charge $3000 per bootcamp. But they also travel the world. They need to pay for airfare, hotels, transportation and food. Coaching may seem expensive to the client, but a great coach has spent years practicing and refining his skill. Students are paying you a large sum of money because you have a great deal of game, and teaching experience. They are paying for wisdom and results. So you better deliver. A cheap dating coach is probably an inexperienced coach. So start low, work hard, gain a reputation and grow your rate.
Why become a dating coach?
The most important part of starting a career as a dating coach is that you LOVE helping people. The money can be good but there will be times you just can’t find a client, so you will feel dismayed. Many of the guys you help are just normal dudes, but some have much deeper issues that you aren’t qualified to deal with. You may need to turn some guys away, even though they are willing to pay you. This is where my most important quality reveals itself.
To be a GREAT Dating Coach…you must have:
INTEGRITY
You don’t pretend to be someone you are not. You don’t lie to your clients when you can’t help them. You don’t charge more than what is fair for your time. You don’t show up late for appointments. You don’t judge your clients or make fun of them. You don’t promise a magic bullet. You don’t ask them to do anything you aren’t willing to immediately demonstrate yourself. You don’t take off to make out with women while your client is standing around by himself.
As a Dating Coach you work your butt off to get results for your students.
This guide won’t go too deep on the minutiae of starting a small business. You can go to community college to learn about that.
Currently there are no recognized associations or benchmarks to regulate the validity or expertise of dating coaches. We are still very underground, and we like it that way. So it will be up to you to build and maintain your reputation. Plus, regulations suck.
If you want to reach a very wide audience, consider studying Internet marketing for your blog, or creating live video recordings of your approaches, and putting them on You Tube. Realize though, the more attention you receive, the greater your personal brand. Once you are on the Internet you are there forever. Thinking of a career in Law, or Politics? A dating coach job probably isn’t the choice for you. Dating coaches are not common and many people will be offended by the fact you even exist. Get used to haters. Just warning you. Sex will always be taboo.
There is another route: The Job Application. You can apply to intern for certain dating coaching companies. As a rule most will only consider former students as they have been through the coaching program and have built rapport with the coaches. This is also my mandate. Some larger companies will consider outside seduction coaches if they are already established names in their scene. So, go develop your name or take a bootcamp.
In the meantime get out and meet lots, and lots of people. Practice writing on forums or blogs, practice your public speaking at toastmasters or your local men’s group. If you find your phone is ringing with girls that want your love, and men that need your advice…you are probably right for the job. Good luck.
Thanks for reading. If you are interested in coaching, send me an email and I’ll contact you for a free consultation. Also sign up for my newsletter to be updated every time a new blog is posted.
Peeeace.
Howdy. Great advice. I’ve been teaching for the past two years now. After 4 years of going out day and night and reading and listening to David D mystery, Carlos xuma David wygant, and a few other Dating coaches that I believe really understand how the whole mating and dating dance works. After 4 years every approach, program I listened to and date I went on…everything finally clicked for me when I finished watching Tyler Durdens program “The Blue Print” Did you ever watch it?
Anyway, feel free to contact me in response to my email. I’m very down to earth etc etc lol
Jeff Magic
Learndatingmagicnow@yahoo.com
I loved the Blueprint. I’ve seen everything released by RSD. Thanks for visiting, good luck with your business.
Hey Tony, Jeff Magic again.
Ok, before I even start. One thing you’re going to notice is that I need to work on my writing skills big time. Lol I’m gradually working them. Lol Warning Tony this email is going to be extremely random and I will jump around with my thoughts. I much prefer the phone, but I figured I’d let you get an understanding of who I am and where I’m at right now so you would have an idea of who and what your dealing with. lol That sounded funny. Like I’m sort of entity or something. Anyway, I want to be authentic with you and just express myself and at the same time tell you the motivation behind me emailing you.
I’ve recently gotten really serious about my dating business. Maturity is one of the reason’s and becoming much more self disciplined and motivated. Another, and the biggest helping men in pain.
Also wanting to be finacially independent. Don’t we all want to feel secure for when we get older and live comfortably. And reconizing the fact that the community and this new information and very very powerful strong and accurate information on how to literally transform yourself and become a truly cool guy is definitely coming out of it’s infancy stage. And that people are really starting to pop out of the wood works. I’m watching people that read a few books, and listen to a few products and put up a website and call themselves a dating coach to scam desperate hurting men out of their hard earned money.
A lot of these “men” and “women”(definitely not all of them) don’t have a deep understanding of the underlying principles of how all this works. Let alone how to actually evaluate a man or a woman with dating issues or approach anxiety which needs a combination to fix. Field experience, reading, and listening to products put out by the greats, inner and outer game along with thousands and thousands of approaches. Actually some much less. Some much more…like myself.
Anyway, back to why I decide to become a dating coach was to help men avoid the terrible, terrible pain, and frustration I experienced being rejected constantly with women and the many dates I did go on, went sour hours, sometimes literally minutes. Little did I know it was my lack of confidence, and social skills and not understanding women and what they are attracted to and turn off by. I was so foolish, immature and had no emotional IQ
So yes, now I want to give men around the world the wonderful gift(coming out with E-book soon) of understanding attraction It’s emasculating not to be successful with women or be able to get a date. God forbid having to settle.
I almost took my life over my failure with women. Luckily I was listening to self-help “The strangest secret” “Think And Grow Rich” “Robert Shuller(the great preacher) Wayne Dyer etc etc they empowered me to go on and gave me direction I did not receive growing up. Randomly trailing off again After, listening to them I said to myself “I’m going to figure out this thing called women and dating and what I’m doing wrong or I am going to die trying.” I literally felt like their was a huge curse on my life.
Only now, do I realize and see it for what it really was with utter ease. It was simply that I formed in Junior high school a distorted view of my worth because I formed a believe that I was ugly and weird(I was weird) lol because
I got rejected multiple times by most of the attractive girls I did like and again said to myself and came to believe must be my looks. So that false belief and that Identity I created in my mind hardened and solidified.
That set me off to constantly seek validation from people and go back and forth thinking I was ugly and sometimes good looking. Swinging in and out of state and situational confidence, barely. Also I was secretly afraid of confident cool men, because I was beat up and pick on as a kid and teenager and constantly called names.
Learning Brazilian Jiujitsu with a ufc fighter named Matt Serra cured that insecurity, along with the self-help books I was reading(community stuff and regular self help) which I came to found out later is based around C.B.T. I don’t believe there is a therapist in the world that could have helped me transform into the kind, funny, social skilled and when needed assertive man I am today. The community gave me the tools to become a better man then I ever had in my wildest dreams. I’m real with everyone, and not afraid to in a positive way state my opinion or be myself at all times no matter who I am around(core confidence..thank you Tyler..aka Owen)
Tony before I forget..here the random part of my writing again lol I want to thank you for putting up this article. It is absolutely awesome advice.
Besides what you’ve written in this article, I’m following the business models and marketing products Eben Pegan’s putting out. Aren’t we all now? lol Obviously, I have every single ebook and dvd product and interviews he has every made and listened to at least 10 times each some more. You probably have too. lol I have most of his Marketing and wealth building products as well, but still struggling to put it all together to go to the next step.
So where am I going with this and why did I reach out to you this time. Plan and simple. My business. I’m having trouble managing it and also need a broader understanding on how to get my name out there. I know blogging and writing dating news articles. Coming out with a dvd product will help and make money for me, but I don’t quite yet have a clear understanding on how to do all these things. I need mentorship to speed up the process and I also need a secretary lol I can’t handle all the paper work etc. I have add and it makes orginazation incredibly difficult for me. I do it somewhat, but I struggle with it.
So anyway, I wanted to speak to you on the phone. I don’t expect something for nothing, but we can speak about that on the phone. After I can give you a clearer understanding of what my exact objectives are regarding my business
I’m going to leave my phone number at the bottom. Before you contact me if you have the time I feel it might be a good for you to go to my website and watch my news interview and also watch the first show I did on Rxmuscle.com and a Radio show I did. The radio show is in all honesty really were I’m at now. The Rxmuscle.com “Heavy muscle show” I did last year(wearing blue coat..redhead on it) I pretty much show Davids viewers the an exact pua almost out of the book Mystery style social Robot model approach.
This is not what I do in real life(or the real me) by any means.I used that style and flash game so that whoever watched it would see it from how I learned it orginally. Broken down into mechancal steps till internalized along with working on inner game products.
I’m a “natural now…uggh for some reason I dispise that term and…pua even more. lol The truth is I’ve just rewired my brain and turned on my man circuits and that allowed me to transform into a mature man who is a leader with excellent social skills and who is self validated and understands women on a deep intuitive level(and myself as well. And I am finally free to be me! 🙂 I want every man I can touch to be the same…Thank you RSD..The Blue Print like I said in the last email to you Tony. Is really what made all my field experience and everything I ever had read, watch, or listened to..POP and it solidified everything. When I took out the last DVD I knew who I was, and the rest I have express above..again the blue print made that happen. I Never thought one product would literally change my life, but Owen has a way of just breaking things down in such a way that he in my mind is better then most therapist out there.Anyway, I’m rambling lol
When you get a chance Tony I’d love to explain the rest.
Sincerly, and warmest regards
Jeff Magic 🙂
P.S. To find the shows your best bet is to just google or youtube Jeff Magic Dating coach that should bring up the first Rxmuscle show(again wearing blue coat) and same for Radio show except put in quantum physiques Jeff Magic. That is really out of everything what I would like you to listen to. You have to fast forward. I’m introduce in the second half of that show. To watch the news interview which also will show you were my heart is for men just go to my in complete content poor unfinished, need to be majorly revamped website. http://www.learndatingmagic.com
ttyl Tony
hey man, this post me some great insight, i want to become a pickup artist and this gave me some very good insight. thanks
Word up Jeff. It looks like you’re on the right path bro. Honestly I’m just small fry out here in Canada (until my book comes out, then I’ll be bigger than Bryan Adams).
You didn’t leave your number. Send me an email through the contact form.
Hey MrTony,
Best time to reach me is after 7pm. If I don’t pick up just leave me your number. I’ll buzz ya back. later gator
Jeff magic
631-258-8595
Tony D,
Hey, great post I really enjoyed reading it. I am just starting out in this business of dating/relationship coaching. I am 21 and still in college which is a great place to be with so many men and women that think this part of their life will never be where they want it to be or that it will just come with time. I do not mean to brag but I am in a fraternity as well as holding a spot on the drumline in the marching band. This coupled with my own public speaking and out-going conversation-ability have found me with plenty of contacts and ties to many different kinds of persons in the area. I feel I can change the way these people look at the world of meeting and dating people. I want to PROVIDE A SERVICE for individuals that are not as accomplished as they wish they were. I do not want to just make money off of them, which from your article seems like a good mindset to have. That being said I still have tuition, books, gas, food, rent, and other supplies that I can’t live without. I am trying to brainstorm ideas on how to generate some revenue and keep the business going. My friend(co-creator) and I have plenty of ideas to get ourselves out there in time. We have already started a twitter account, which I hope you check out and give me some feedback, where I am trying to post advice and answer tweets as much as possible. Next is finishing the separate website where the articles I write and videos I record about the “Dos”, “Don’ts”, “Drinks”, and “Dress” of dating and courting will be posted(with “hashtags” that will route you to the twitter page and bring you to the things I have posted about the article at hand). There will also be an “Ask” section to inquire to me about anything that need be answered. We are also going to have Merge(our brand) themed parties for singles to meet each other. We are gearing for these parties to be classy get togethers with a dress code and everything. My point of this post to you is really to ask how you get your name and the word of your business out to the masses you may, or may not, know. Also, how do you go about showing your credibility and gaining currency from those you wish to help? Please lend me any advice you can and if you have any questions for me I would love to answer them as well.
Hey Tony, it’s been a while but this article definitely came in handy at the moment for me.
I’m a PUA instructor/ blogger, been in the community for some years.
I never thought about monetizing my blog nor service, but now I’m giving it some major consideration.
My sticking point on this right now is which genre to select: online consultation, coaching via phone, in person, etc. I’m not looking at it for profit base, but more for the easiest route to coaching for money.
Any tips bro’?
I make all of my money from bootcamps, mentorships and a little bit from Phone coaching. I would say, hit the pavement and teach bootcamps for a year. Otherwise you’re an internet marketer. Though you say you’re an instructor so I assume you already do bootcamps.
Hey guys, any advise for marketing and attracting clients? I live near a couple college towns and a couple big cities. Im just starting my coaching business and am a little unsure which angle to pursue. Im toying with a gew website ideas……..
You need a blog first of all, and it needs to be updated regularly so that visitors see that you are dedicated. If you look at mine, I have not gone longer than seven days without a post in two years. Video blogging is fine. Speak to your local lair, or start a meetup.com group and take them out for trips to the club. Those are a few ways.
Hey Tony D, i’m a 20 year old french canadian college student. Ive got into this community about a year ago when my gf of 2 years dumped me. ive read alot about pickup and psychology, from simple pickup to RSD and all that… ive always been pretty good with girls (one of the reasons why im single now) and found myself having a few guys always asking me for advice on what to text and what to say ect… My question is : do you know what the market looks like for the french portion of canada… I found alot of coaches in english, but not so much in french. This could be a great opportunity for me to get all the english material to all thoses french dudes out there that dont understand a thing ! Cheers and keep up the good work !
I teach french guys in Montreal every year. I’ll be there this June.
Do you need any specific degree to be a dating coach? Can you get sued without any credentials? Please let me know. Thanks
No you don’t need anything.
Hey I was interested in speaking with you about being a coach and starting up.also wanted to know if this type of service would be good for a small city
My consulting fee is on the sales page. The reason I ask for $ is because many people email every week asking the same questions. I want to answer everybody, but I paid many coaches a few hundred dollars to teach me! And the answers are very obvious. You already know them. Actually it’s one action.
Taking action.
Hey Tony,
Got to say I enjoyed this article and will definitely be using the advice given. I would just like to get your opinion on what I am doing in my area. I recently started teaching people but not in the conventional way like how I see many others teaching. I’m 19 and have been working on my game for the past 2 years. I’m not teaching people advanced pick up techniques but more just getting them started. The people I am targeting are the people that most would consider to be lost causes. The few guys that have come to me so far are usually socially awkward and have absolutely no confidence with women.
What I do is get them started on game so they can progress and go further themselves after I am finished coaching them. What I do with them is teach them how to be fully confident with who they are and socially condition them so they can make a start towards becoming better with women on their own. I take guys who know nothing and teach them the basics as a starting point.
I would love to hear what you think of the way I am going about this.
Thanks,
Niko
Great post Tony. I’ve been gaming for a few years and have been teaching for the past two from California to New York. I’ve done many of these things already mentioned here due to the advice I’ve received from my mentors of another dating company I’ve worked with. It’s always good to hear it being confirmed by someone else. However, one question I have is if you think if it’s worth it to become incorporated?
I’ve never considered incorporation.
Hey Tony I am interested in being a dating coach I like to talk to over the phone. Please send give me a phone call at 7069490838.
Hey what’s your email?
The contact form is on the front right of my website.
Hey Tony your article was informative. I’m a female that’s interested in becoming a dating coach. I couldn’t find that contact info you were talking about. If you get a chance I have a few questions. 🙂