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Safety is not Growth

In fiction writing, one way of creating an interesting plot is to put a character into a trap and let him figure his way out. The harder, more dangerous or awkward the situation, the more interesting the story. We love watching a protagonist struggle and learn, adapt and grow.

The reason structured game ultimately fails long term is because life isn’t structured. It’s a chaotic fucking mess of invariables, pain and suffering with brief interludes of peace and joy.

The path to success with women is not a straight line with pretty little road signs pointing you in the proper direction. It doesn’t look like:

  1. Approach girl.
  2. Talk to girl.
  3. Touch girl.
  4. Kiss girl.
  5. Get married.

If only life were so peachy. That list didn’t mention she has a secret Ketamine habit, racist tendencies and a $120,000 student loan (art school.)

We’re taught to go to college, get good grades, find a job and listen to the boss, buy a house, pump out a few kids, go to Disney Land a few times, Mexico a few times, get a promotion or two, and save for retirement.

Unless you have Robin Williams from “Dead Poets Society” for English class, we’re not taught creativity or independence. We’re not taught to question authority, to consider that our society’s values are twisted and sick or that there could be an alternative lifestyle that doesn’t involve a house in the suburbs, a mortgage you can’t afford and a family you never see, (or maybe even like.)

“Tell me about your day son!?”

“Well Dad. I masturbated to Internet porn, chatted on Facebook, then Twitter, stuffed my face with microwaved perogies and played Call of Duty before passing out in front of Netflicks. Can I have twenty dollars?”

There are those of us who will never challenge the status quo, never read a self-help book, never take a meditation class, never start a business, never approach a hot girl, never try a hallucinogenic drug, never try polygamy, never travel, never perform on stage, never stand out.

And that’s ok. It’s up to you to create the sort of life you want. If you want a nice, normal life…follow the guidelines set out for you. Wait until you are introduced to your fiancé through Jimmy at the office during the staff Christmas party. Stay at your job you fucking hate because it’s “safe.”

Or you could put yourself into those awkward, scary, weird situations that cause you to question reality, your values and everything you thought to be true.

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3 Comments

  1. Hello Tony,
    I loved the article and it added nice to what I’ve been thinking about and what I don’t want to with it. Which is wasting it away, working the 9-5 job that I hate, frying my brain on tv, mindless conformity, etc. Although there’s one part that lost me “never try a hallucinogenic drug, never try polygamy,” how is that bad a thing? Monogomy or Polygomy is one’s own subjective choice and choosing to try a hallucinogenic is also the same choice. I’m sure those who don’t try hallucinogenics or polygamy might not be missing out something that amazing.
    -Rod

  2. Dude I totally agree. Many people lack the desire to self-reflect, or try something different. They are scared of the risk. Scared of actually finding success in it because then the last 20+ years they’ve lived have been “wasted”.

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