How Do You Develop “Style?”

My student asked me a very interesting question.

“How do you go about finding your personal style?”

He’s referring to a style of seduction, pickup, game, etc.

There are thousands of ebooks, YouTube vids, online courses, and real life coaches like myself who can teach you how to find success with women. But do men run the risk of becoming autonomous social robots, desperately acting a part?

Seduction is like a martial art. In Wing Chun, you study and practice “form” or stylized routines designed to teach the fundamentals. With enough practice, you eventually become consciously competent. The student who studies towards mastery of form, may develop their own style.

The key is innovation through experimentation, improvisation, and experience.

Take a daygame opener for example. I will give a student a script like: “Hi. I just saw you, I thought you were cute, and had to meet you.”

This script is accompanied by a very specific approach, where the student approaches a woman from the side, and says “Hi,” over the shoulder, initiating eye contact. This way, the woman “see’s” him before he continues, and has a chance to acknowledge him and reply. In this manner, she isn’t frightened, and the interaction is consensual. Once she replies, he continues the script.

This routine accomplishes:

-Introduction and eye contact

-Explains why he has approached her, ie, he’s attracted to her appearance

Once the student understands the reason for this approach, he is free to experiment and improvise. “Hi” could be replaced with any generic greeting, and “I just thought you were cute” with any compliment. As long as the result is similar: she has a conversation with you, and isn’t alarmed. 

I rarely use direct compliments as I prefer an indirect, purely improvisational, situational approach. But I can communicate the same message.

I might notice she is wearing matching colours and comment “You just couldn’t let go of the holiday spirit, could you?”

Or “Matching colours. Let go of the need for control girl. Let go…”

My objective is to get her to engage with me.

What happens after that is irrelevant, as long as we start talking. And then within that conversation, if there is mutual attraction, I might compliment her beauty or charm—which has the same effect.

I understand the fundamentals, and can therefore innovate through experimentation.

This is why seduction is an art, more than a science. Innovation can be employed through every step of a seduction.

This stuff is so fun for both the man, and the woman because seduction is an interactive dance, a concert, a performance that involves the artist, and the audience in a mutual, improvisational experience.

It all starts by putting your right foot in front of your left, opening your mouth and forcing air through your lungs.

But then again, you could skip towards her childlike, and open with a high five. It really doesn’t matter. The message comes from the energy and intent behind your actions, not the actions themselves.