Manage Your Emotions Like an Air Traffic Controller

A friend and student of mine is a military air traffic controller. He said to me, “Tony, you would make a great air traffic control instructor. This whole learning process is the same as my job’s.”

I agree with him. I’m pretty much awesome at everything I do.

To master their present thoughts and emotions, air traffic controllers are monitored while being repeatedly exposed to high stress scenarios. Approach coaching is similar since the laws are universal: approach, approach, approach, and instead of hiding from your anxiety, familiarize yourself with it. You grab it by the nuts and say, “Hello anxiety. How are you mate?” You alone are the master and commander to the fleets which are spiralling down to the eternal runway of success, or whatever. Direct them or risk wading through fields of fiery destruction.

I often teach logically and empirically to my students; go there, talk to her for at least two minutes, get a number. But for the more spiritually minded clients, I share metaphors about energy. I ask them to imagine swirls of colour around their bodies. A nervous student would have sparks and tornadoes flying from his fingertips, head, and mouth, as he flapped and flailed about. For those others, the men who have put thousands of hours of focus on their emotional control, I would see only a calm, organized hum, or a direct exchange from his chest to hers. He is able to direct his energy and attention and because of this mastery, can achieve great success at almost any task.

Masters don’t need to think about their tasks the way Muggles do. They have unconscious competence. An air traffic controller or any great leader must deal with hundreds or thousands of variables. If I’m in a restaurant and I see a woman at the table next to me, and I’m thinking about the approach, about the disposition of her friends, about the waiter who is watching, about the volume of the music, then If I approach her, I would not come off as cool, collected and charming. I’m able to remain calm under pressure because I’ve exposed myself repeatedly to the buzzing of the flight control room. I don’t think, I do.

People sometimes ask me if I still have social anxiety. A little maybe. but whereas before it was a looming beast destroying me, now it’s a kernel in the back recesses of my consciousness. Socially I fear only what could actually kill me, like an angry crack head with a needle or an escaped zoo ape. The same way my student can manage his emotions while directing a fleet of aircraft, I can manage a torrent of thoughts and emotions while I flirt with a beautiful woman, or when speaking to a large group of men at a seminar. This is the payoff for years of hard work…and it’s worth it. It’s a power that not only calms your disturbed soul, but commands respect from those who lack this social skill. Emotional mastery will come from exposing yourself to stress, trauma, and fear; which sounds awful I know. But if you emerge unscathed, the payoff is great, great personal power.