How to Get Out of The Friendzone

friendzoneIf you want to go from a friend zone with a girl, to a lover zone, you only need to do one thing:

Risk losing her forever

This is how a guy ends up in the friend-zone:

  • He meets a girl. He develops a crush and fantasizes about seducing her
  • He asks her to hang out, and she does, because she also likes him, or at least has a small amount of interest
  • They do romantic activities together over many days, weeks, eventually leading to months, and sometimes years

And all this time, he never hooks up with her. Why not? Because he never makes a move that could be interpreted as sexual.

You end up in the friend zone because you won’t risk rejection

You poor, poor, overly nice bastard. By trying to prove that you are different, and a gentleman, you end up masturbating yourself to sleep with sweet Russian porn.

She doesn’t want to be treated like a Disney princess. She doesn’t want you to drive her about town, do her errands, or pay her bills.

She wants you to be a man, and clearly express your masculine desires. She wants you to grow some balls, and face the potential of her complete and utter rejection.

I’ve had far too many clients coming to me for advice on, “one special girl.” My advice is always the same:

First I ask, “Are you willing to never see or speak to her again?”

These men always say, “Yes I am.”

Because, none of these sorry bastards really care about being in a friendship. They all want to bang their, “best friend.” And there was a point where she wanted this as well. But that didn’t happen, did it? You sad, sorry, far too nice manboy. 

So, if you’re in the friend zone, here is what you need to do:

Invite your girl to your seduction location. Preferably your apartment. If you live with your parents, bring her to your room to watch a movie or listen to the new Arcade Fire album. If she likes to drink, have a couple of Vodka Cranberry or whatever she likes. Then, get close to her, lean in, and go for a kiss.

Try to kiss her

She might deny you, and stare in shock. “Oh my god, he actually tried to kiss me.”

Good! Know she knows, finally.

Give her some time to let it sink in and do not apologize. Please, for the love of god, do not apologize.

When she asks why you tried to kiss her, you can communicate your desires. “Because I think you’re sexy. I always have.”

The reason you should be direct, and not use, “Game,” is because game only works if you do it from the beginning. Playing hard to get, teasing, and all that stuff you probably don’t know how to do.

Now continue to unfriend-zoning yourself:

You can tell her that you’d like to be closer to her, more physical, and that you find her sexy and you’re attracted to her. You have been for some time, and you’re done being her friend.

You are done being her friend.

The time for games is over, because you’ve been playing a game for far too long. The game of being a total pussy. Enough is enough.

But don’t be needy. Don’t beg, or plead, or cry, or whine. Just say what you truly feel, in a free, not-needy way, and then shut up.

Be Rejected

If she doesn’t kiss you on the spot, she will either give you a mild scolding, or share her feelings (or lack of) for you. It doesn’t matter what she says or thinks. All that matters is now she finally knows how you feel.

She can at least finally respect you. Even if you never see her again.

At least she will respect you

If she just wants to be your friend, and you’re sick of it, just say, “I don’t want to be your friend anymore. I want something more.”

She will go home and think about it, and call all of her friends on the phone, and text it, and talk about it on Facebook, and that will be that. You might be shamed. You might be embarrassed and denied. This is good. Because you told the truth, and you are no longer a weasly little manboy. You are a truth teller.

Then maybe, she will think about it over many days or weeks, and decide to give you a shot. And if she does, you better kiss her as soon as possible. And you better sleep with her quickly. Those windows of opportunity close very, very quickly.

Learn to Approach

But in the meantime, you should learn how to approach women, and go meet more, you sad, pathetic little manboy.

The best way to avoid the friend-zone, is to never, ever, go into the friend zone.

It’s better to be rejected and respected than accepted and living a pathetic lie.

***Have you ever considered personal coaching? Follow me on Facebook and Twitter. Join the mailing list and receive a huge, free ebook of my best posts from 2o11-2012.***

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2 Comments

  1. “Invite your girl to your seduction location. Preferably your apartment. If you live with your parents, bring her to your room to watch a movie or listen to the new Arcade Fire album.”

    Thanks for implying I can still get laid as a 25 year old living with my folks. It gives me hope 🙂

    1. You can up until you turn 23. From then on, you need at least a separate structure on the same property to get laid.

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