Peaks and Valleys

I see it on bootcamps all the time; guys hitting emotional peaks and valleys, and burning themselves out.

They do an approach and the girl is receptive. They get a phone number and they’re flying high.

Then the next few approaches don’t go as well, and their emotional state dips until they’re a sad wreck.

They text her and when she replies, they feel like a rockstar. But when hours go by and she doesn’t reply again, their state dips and crashes.

I know from vast experience.

If you continue to allow validation from women to dictate your emotional state—you are in for a horrible trip.

This way is the path to hating women, because you’ve put all of your happiness in the attention she pays you. Especially if you identify as someone who is “Good with women.” Because if she takes her attention from you, it will directly lessen your identity. 

You need to anchor your self-worth to something other than your ability to attract women. And I know it’s hard, especially when you’re lonely, and you’re working so damn hard to meet a great girl or ten. But this is for your own protection.

Here is the secret: Always be somewhat happy and content.

Breathe deep! Smile! Stretch!

Imagine a certain level of peace, and happiness, and remain just above that line, no matter what.

Women like happy men. So train yourself to be happy.

I know sometimes when a girl brushes you off like a shoe turd, and you know you’re a good man, you want to scream “Bitch! You don’t know what you’re missing!”

And when you go on a date with a beauty who makes you feel like a pimp, you want to sing, and dance, and update your Facebook status with all sorts of motivational memes, and call your buddies, and fist pump like Rocky.

But, you should just be happy anyway. Because either way—your life remains the same.

Where are you right now? Who is sitting beside you? Smile at them. Say “Hey man. How the hell are you?”

Are you in nature? Take a moment to admire its beauty. Pee on a tree, look up at a squirrel and say, “Chik a chik a chik a cheek?” Make that squirrel’s day.

Do you have a great job or hobby that fulfills you? Be grateful you can pursue that, and don’t have to clear landmines like a child soldier in Nambia.

Trying to seduce women is a lot harder than catching Charzars in Pokemon Go. You can’t allow the emotional highs and lows to dictate your mood, or you will burn yourself out.

Focus on having a life that leaves you feeling good and fulfilled, with or without validation from women. Then you will not be destroyed by your emotional fluctuations over the long term. Because this journey you are on, will take the rest of your life. So best to hold fast to something that will always be yours.

***Want to learn how to meet women in the daytime? I still have one bootcamp spot open in Toronto July 29-31, and 2 spots for Montreal Aug 5-7. Then I’m back to Vancouver. Contact me now for a free consultation.***