Learn From Women

When I was in Asia I met loads of women, mostly tourists from Europe. I rarely went more than a day or two without meeting and hanging out with some. It was so refreshing compared to Vancouver, where I can meet nice girls, invite them to hang out, and then never hear from them again. The experience gave me valuable insight into females as something other than sperm recepticles.

In Vancouver if I met a girl, we might sleep together once or twice, or maybe date for a few weeks or months. But I never really became friends with these girls. When you’re in a sexual relationship with a new lover, the conversation is rarely real. You’re still on guard, trying to project to each other your best-behaved selves. When you are travelling, people feel they have nothing to hide since they’ll be gone in a few days anyway.

I would tell girls what I did for a living, and then they would open up to me about their dating frustrations.

There are lots of gurus out there saying women are all frustrated at the cowardice of needy, beta men. But I found this isn’t always the case. Many of the girls were completely surprised that men needed to study seduction. I remember one girl telling me she had never dated anything but healthy minded, confident men, and that she was envious of our positive traits. It’s like she unconsciously blocked out all negative male experiences.

Some gurus say that women give the worst dating advice, because all they say is, “be yourself,” and, “be nice,” and, “be a real man.” Of course these advices are vague, and men like linear, logical progressions—so applying this is like grabbing at vapour. But there’s great truth to female dating advice, so it’s important not to ignore their wisdom because some guy on YouTube told you they give bad advice.

Everything real that I learned about women, pickup and seduction—I learned from women.

They told me when they didn’t like my approach, by walking away, mocking me, backturning me, sticking their hands in my face or telling me to, “Go away please.”

When I was bad in bed, they coached me on what they liked: when to spank them, how to talk dirty and sweet, and how to be a creative lover.

They stopped responding when my text game sucked, and I sent them weird messages that weren’t appropriate.

They taught me how to be a more dynamic and intersting person by sharing their hobbies and interests like dancing, cooking, crafting, travelling, sports, music, movies and books.

They chose to come home with me when I did everything right, and chose to not when I did everything wrong.

Many women were direct with me, telling me why my game sucked, and how I could improve it.

By sharing their personal weaknesses, they taught me it’s ok to be vulnerable. Like how one girl at a club last week told me about her deadbeat dad, and how it left her with a lack of trust in men. I then shared a story about how my father was a cocaine addict. She forced me to take her phone number. She was a model.

They taught me that no matter how hot—she has insecurity. She has bad days, boring days, and lonely days, just like the rest of us.

They taught me that no two girls are the same. One might be very submissive, shy and feminine, while another likes beer, video games, and MMA. You can’t predict their personalities.

They taught me that listening is often as seductive as talking.

They taught me that it’s really their choice if they sleep with you, or continue to date you, and all you can really do is offer the invitation.

Take every opportunity to talk to women, without the intention of picking them up. Open yourself up to their wisdom. Even a 19 year old has something to teach you—but you have to drop the ego and be a little humble. It’s going to take time.