Should I Break Up With My Girlfriend Even Though I Still Love Her?

If you’re considering breaking up with your girlfriend – but you still love her – I empathize. The decision to break up or stay together can be life changing, for better or worse. 

Most mainstream blogs will give you flowery advice like: “Trust your gut,” but sometimes your gut is just wrong. 

As a man who’s broken the hearts of many women (and vice versa), I’ll help you decide the best answer for you. 

Should you break up with her and be single, or stay in a relationship with the girl you love? Let’s figure it out. 

Should You Dump Your Girlfriend, or Not? 

I don’t know the details of you and your girlfriend. Sure, you may still love her, but is your relationship toxic or healthy? 

Are you fighting every day? Because that sucks.

Is she an absolute bitch, or a loving, loyal, humble girlfriend?

Are you an average man with an exceptionally good looking woman? That can be tough to give up.

Did she get fat? 

Or has she slowly lost interest in you? 

Or are you just bored, and want to try a new girl?

Maybe you’re the one who got fat, or lost your job and went broke; and now because she’s lost attraction, she’s acting like a bitch.

That’s how women cope with loss of attraction. They won’t often verbalize it, they’re not men. Instead, they’ll just start acting bitchy, annoying, and disrespectful. This is usually 100% your fault. But that’s another story. 

There are just so many variables. I can only assume and systematically go through every possible scenario, hoping one relates to your situation. 

A much easier solution would be to join my community or email me. Give me more details so I can help you out. 

So while I can’t tell you to either break up with your girlfriend or marry her, I can at least help you sort out your feelings and come to a decision. 

Let’s break it down. 

How Do You Feel About Your Relationship?  

You believe that you love your girlfriend; but what is love, really? A chemical reaction? A feeling? Or an idea created by Walt Disney to sell cartoons? 

What we believe to be romantic love is usually just lust. Even the hottest girl’s body can become boring if you don’t have an intellectual, psychic or spiritual connection. And even the funniest, wittiest woman can become dull if her good looks fail. 

I used to say “I love you” to my ex-girlfriend all the time. But did I actually love her? I suppose I liked having her around. But I don’t think I loved her. 

I liked it when she scratched my back, cooked me dinner, sucked my dick, and made me laugh. I liked it when she listened patiently as I complained about my crappy days at work. I liked it when she supported me in quitting that job to work on a terrible novel that would never sell. 

There were lots of reasons I could have said I loved her. But did I really? I don’t even know. She was great, but love?

Not like I love my Mother. Not like I love my Dog,  my best bro friends, or my coaching career. I left her because I loved my work more than her. She said “It’s me or your job…” and I chose my career. 

So ask yourself, do you actually love her? Or are you just comfortable? Does she support your purpose, and lift you, or criticize and hold you down? Why is it you want to break up? 

Maybe she’s perfect but you’re just bored. That’s fine too. 

What is that deep-rooted feeling that’s compelling you to break up with your girl? Sit back, close your eyes and have a good “feel” about it. Take as long as you need. There’s no rush. Take days, weeks or months. But don’t take years. 

Why are you afraid of breaking up with her?

What are you afraid of? 

Is it hurting her feelings? 

Women are tougher than you think. Psychologists have done plenty of studies proving women rebound from breakups better than men. Maybe that’s because they are girls, and men wait on the sideline to pounce once they’re single. 

Ending up forever alone? Learn to approach women or learn online dating; you won’t be alone too long. I’m not saying it’s easy to meet beautiful women, but you can win at dating with a great pickup strategy. Personally, I prefer daygame. I’d rather meet women in bookstores than online or at a club. 

Are you stressed about pissing off her (your) friends? You may be cutting off a large part of your social circle when you break up. Don’t worry, your real friends will stick with you. Besides, you can always make new friends. It’s not easy, but you can. 

Worried about disappointing your family? When are we not disappointing our family? And yet, they’re still our family. They have no choice. 

Whatever your fear, you can overcome it. It’s just fear and you’re a man who can easily handle fear, right? 

What if you make the wrong choice? Life is just a series of choices. You either make them, or life makes them for you. 

Why are you looking forward to being single again? 

If you’re breaking up with your girlfriend – even though you love her – it must be for a good reason. 

Is it getting laid with new girls? The world is full of sexy women and you just have to go out there and meet them. 

Is it having more free time for yourself? Girlfriends take up a lot of time and resources. If you’re single you can do all the fun things you want. You can even spend all day playing video games and smoking weed! Not that I advise this. But when you’re single, you can do whatever you want. 

Is it having fewer expectations or responsibilities? Girlfriends can be super needy, and when you’re single again you are free of that relationship responsibility. The only person you have to please is yourself, and your boss. Unless you’re you’re own boss.   

Or maybe she’s just annoying you. Girlfriends can just become nags sometimes. Nag, nag, nag. If that’s the case, why do you love her? Maybe you have Stockholm Syndrome. 

You may not even remember what it’s like to be single. It’s not so bad. I quite enjoy it. 

“But should I break up with her, or not?” 

The allure of being single again is powerful. I can’t tell you to dump your sweet girlfriend. You have to decide for yourself. But as a curious stranger, I can ask you a few questions. 

How hot is she? Because if she’s really beautiful and not completely crazy, these girls can be hard to come by in times of sexual drought. A beautiful girlfriend can be trickier to keep happy, but they sure are fun to look at. 

How cool is she? Is she a high-maintenance girl, or super chill? A lot of girlfriends are needy, demanding, and require a lot of maintenance. Low-maintenance women who don’t cause a lot of drama are great finds. 

How useful is She? Can she cook? Does she clean your place for you? Does she give you massages without you asking her? Does she sing or play guitar? Is she intelligent and fun to talk to? Does she lift your spirits when you feel down? This stuff matters, and not all girlfriends are created equal. 

Can you do better than her? Be honest. If you’re single again will it take you three years to get laid? Because I guarantee she’ll be snatched up within three weeks or less. You need to be ready for that. 

Is she willing to share you with other women? If she lets you bang other girls, then she may be a keeper. 

What is it you’re really after? Is it freedom? Adventure? Sexual variety? You should decide what exactly you want. Maybe you don’t even know. I suppose that’s why you’re here, reading this. 

There is no right answer

Life is a like a choose-your-own-adventure story. 

Do you choose to play as a hero, or a villain? An archer, or a rogue? 

You come to a fork in the road. Do you go left, or right?

How your life plays out only depends on which decisions you make. After you make those decisions, you accept the consequences and move forward. That’s it. That’s all this life is. 

You stay with your girlfriend… so be it. Stay with her. 

You break up with your girlfriend… so be it. You break up. 

But if you’re stressing out every day, then it’s time to make a decision. 

Conclusion

Should you leave your girlfriend and be single again? 

Or are you sure you want to, you’re just asking “When should I break up with my girlfriend?”

Bro… I wish I had the answer. 

At the time of writing this article, I’m currently single, and other than not getting laid, I don’t really miss having a girlfriend. I like the autonomy of being my own man. I travel the world, I’m self-employed, and it’s fun.  

However, sometimes I feel like a loving massage or cuddle, or the sound of a loving woman’s laughter to lift my spirits. And in those moments I miss having a girlfriend. 

But then I pick up a book, jerk off, or pet a dog. 

I don’t need a girlfriend, and neither do you. No man needs a girlfriend. It depends on how adventurous, self-amused, and independent your spirit is. Some men are better off single, truly. 

My advice to you is to meditate on it. And then journal on it. Write ten pages about everything you’re thinking and feeling. It will help. 

Imagine what it’s like to be single, and imagine what it’s like to have a girlfriend. 

Either way you go, you’re still alive and healthy, and so will she be alive and healthy. And that’s what matters most. 

My advice: if you decide to break up, take a long trip. Go to Thailand, Mexico, or Antarctica. Go somewhere you can be alone, have an adventure and sort it all out. 

Good luck. 

P.S. I have free courses on how to approach and talk to girls in my Skool community. See you in there.